If you're in an abusive relationship, and your partner swears to change... Is it worth giving a second chance?

Answer 1

Absolutely NOT! There are NO second chances for an abuser. Why give him a second chance??? To do it again? Possibly this time to end it all for you??Not worth it dear. Get out, move on, and find someone who is good to you and will NEVER lay a hand on you. Once an abuser, ALWAYS an abuser...They don't get better, they get WORSE.


P.S. I can see clearly why you ask this question because your self esteem is so low due to this abuse, it has confused your relationship...I know...My best friend spent 4 yrs being abused and I NEVER new it...(Tears rolling) She had bruises and scars from this Jerk who told her loved her in front of family and friends than repeatedly beat her over and over screaming he hated her and wished she would die. Well, the wish he made finally came true when All her friends were at a going away party for another friend and this Jerk showed up....He knocked on the door, walked in and shot my best friend in the head...She lived for 2 hrs on life support..I'm telling you don't do this not only to yourself, but to your family and friends who love you...If you allow him to continue to be in your life, you might as well first go make sure you have your burial plot ready. I wish you the best of luck in whatever you chose

Answer 2

Please Listen! Get away now! A man who's abusive can't change on his own,he needs professional help!I know he promised he'd stop. He will the next time and the time after that too. This is a fact. It will happen again. And it will get worse every time because it makes him feel powerful and he's really insecure. He can't control it for any long period of time. Don't make excuses for him. Don't blame yourself for causing it. Don't tell yourself that he only does it because his love for you is so strong. And do not let him convince you to be so ashamed you can't go to family or friends for help. He may try to isolate you from people you care about. He may threaten you if you mention leaving him.There are people out there that can help! Ask your doctor or pastor. Look in the phone book. You don't have to take it. It's not a healthy love. And please, please, don't listen to things like no one else will ever want you or you can't make it without him. It's all the insecurities talking and he is a liar!

Answer 3

I was in an abusive relationship for 11 years. I met him when I was 21 and divorced him at 32. We had 3 kids together and I had one of my own. Not only was he abusive to me but also very abusive to my child. My child ended up going from a great kid to a troubled teen. He blamed most of his troubles on me because I was too weak to remove him from the situation. I am so regretful now of that. Not only did I live 11 years completely and utterly unhappy but so did my child. So many years wasted. My Aunt is a therapist and she once told me that people very rarely change and that to make him change before getting back with him. If after at least 1 year he hadn't reverted to the same person, then to consider getting back with him but not until then. I didn't listen to her. Instead I would take him back time and time again because he seemed so sincere and remorseful. The changes would last for a while but he always reverted back to the abusive behavior and it would worsen everytime.

When he promises to change it is only because he is feeling helpless and out of control. He is probably sincerely remorseful for his deeds at the time. However, this is only temporary. He is an abuser. It is a sickness. He needs help. Once he sees that you are willing to take him back over and over his violence will increase.

I strongly urge you to remove yourself from this type of situation. What you may or may not realize right now is that he is breaking the girl. What I mean by that is that he is slowly stripping away at your self confidence. Don't let him do this to you. It is inevitable that you will eventually leave him. Don't spend your precious years in misery.

Answer 4

i understand 4 people who've taken back somebody who cheated on them and that i understand 4 people who have been given cheated on back by an analogous guy or woman. There are some exceptions. I pay attention approximately them now and back yet some are exceptions because of the fact the guy grew to develop into extra suitable at cheating and not getting caught and a few truly did never do it back. the percentages are against it nevertheless and the believe that replaced into lost is so confusing to come again. And the cheater resents no longer being depended on even nevertheless they did incorrect they like to be forgiven quickly and not be doubted that's impossible. I say locate somebody else and shop your self the heartache if achievable.

Answer 5

It takes years, YEARS to change someone like that, wasn't the first chance good enough? Unless you would like to stand by your partner while being beat I would say leave, Yes they may want to change but that does not mean they will and your partner will continually make excuses for him/herself..and so will you. Any kind of abuse should not be tolerated the first chance should be enough, he/she screwed up and now they should deal with the consequences, losing you.

Answer 6

Personally i wouldnt from my experience they say they will change and even if they want to its a long hard road that they need to travel alone to be able to get to a point where they can manage their anger without physical or mental abuse. If u stay this person wont get past it. The most u can do is try to stay friends and be supportive and maybe some day you will be able to take it further.

Answer 7

If it has happened more than once (the abuse) then chances are it will only get worse (personal experience here). I would really get out as soon as possible. I know you may love this person, but you have your safety to think about. If you have kids, you need to leave NOW! Good luck, sweetie!

Answer 8

I had that problem and the second chance is a good ideal but if it keeps happening get out of the relationship

Answer 9

educate yourself. join a batter womens group and see what you think about your question next.
from my experience every guy who has told me that or my girlfriends bf told them that it has never been the truth the first time, second time, third time...you get my drift?
guys feel that they got away with it once and they have found a way to manipulate your vulnerable female feelings and they look at it like they got you where they want you and will literally usse an abuse that power/control over you in one form of abuse or another.

Answer 10

No I would not give it a second chance cause the odds of it happening again is not worth it.