discpline help?

Question

My almost three year old keeps getting into my $20 dollar clinique make up. He's got into it about 5-6 times.

So I owe $80 dollars on my Elder Beerman credit card that I haven't paid off from the last time he wasted my makeup. I'm very upset with him becuase he won't stay out of my makeup. He's ruined blush, brushes, mascara. And my makeup is put up in the utility closet.

He normally gets into it when he's suppose to be watching his cartoons in his bedroom. I watch him carefully. It only took about 3 minutes to get my makeup out of the closet and spill the entire bottle.

I'm not going to spank him because he will forget tomorrow why he got spanked. I don't know what to do! What can I do to him to make him remeber that this is not acceptable behavior? He has a bank account with money in it but he's three so he has no concept of what money is.

Answer 1

Spanking has nothing to do with changing behavior. Spanking is a form of punishment, not a form of discipline. Good for you for not spanking!

It sounds like he’s trying to gain some power. Are there any new changes in his life (move, new school, new baby, family issues)? If so, give him lots of extra love and support. Have you thought of getting him his own “makeup?” You can get him some face paints or cheap children's makeup and give him his own drawer for them. Tell him “If you want to use makeup you can use these.” I also suggest you get him some art supplies (crayons, markers, stickers, paints, brushes, lots of different sized and colors of paper) and let him have his own drawer for these as well. If he has his own “makeup” and supplies, he will lose interest in yours.

Help him to feel powerful in a positive way. Notice him when he is not misbehaving. Say things like "You worked on that for a long time! Look how high you can climb! You did that by yourself! You used so many colors on that picture!" These are intrinsic motivators rather than extrinsic rewards ("Good job," stickers, candy). These phrases are great confidence builders!

Do you think he is getting into your things out of anger? If so, empathize with him when he is calm. Say things like “You must have felt really (mad, angry, frustrated, hurt, upset.). What can we do about that?” Give him some ideas about what to do instead of acting out. He should learn to better express his feelings.

Try and use logical consequences whenever possible. Taking away a toy or privileges when your son misbehaves is not a logical consequence. Taking away a toy if he throws it or is destructive with it is logical. These are some other examples of logical consequences. If he makes a mess, he cleans it. If he breaks a toy, it goes in the trash. If he damages something in the home, he does things around the house to pay for the damages. Let the discipline fit the crime. Hope this helps! Good luck!

Answer 2

I have found great success in disciplining my children by giving serious thought some useful Bible principles! (Fancy that)

I found these principles in regards discipline in general:

Be loving. “Do not be provoking your children, so that they do not become downhearted.”—Colossians 3:21, footnote.

Be consistent. “Let your word ‘Yes’ mean yes, your ‘No,’ no.”—Matthew 5:37.

Be reasonable. “I will discipline you to the proper degree.”—Jeremiah 30:11.*

And I imagine your next steps will probably yield some tantrums, so I found these on dealing with tantrums:

Be understanding. Your child is not a miniature adult. Having little experience in dealing with his emotions, he may overreact when he is upset. Try to see the situation through his eyes.—Bible principle: 1 Corinthians 13:11.

Stay calm. When your child is having a tantrum, losing your temper will not help. To the extent possible, ignore the tantrum and react matter-of-factly. Remembering why tantrums occur will help you to stay calm.—Bible principle: Proverbs 19:11.

Hold your ground. If you give in to whatever it is your child is demanding, he will likely throw another tantrum the next time he wants something. Calmly show your child that you mean what you say.—Bible principle: Matthew 5:37.

Be patient. Do not expect tantrums to disappear overnight, especially if you have given your child reason to believe that his behavior will sway you. If you react properly and consistently, however, the tantrums will likely diminish. Eventually, they will stop altogether. The Bible says: “Love is long-suffering.”—1 Corinthians 13:4.

Also, try the following:

When the tantrum begins, hold your child in your arms (if possible) and, without hurting him, restrict him from thrashing about. Do not shout at your child. Just wait for the storm to pass. Eventually, the child will realize that the tantrum has got him nowhere.

Designate an area where you can put your child when he has a tantrum. Tell him that he may come out when he has calmed down, and then leave him there.

If your child has a tantrum in public, remove him from the view of others. Do not give in just because he is making a spectacle. That will only leave your child with the message that by throwing a tantrum, he can get whatever he wants.

Hope that helps!

Answer 3

Put your makeup out of his reach. He's only three, and he can't resist the temptation to play with it. He probably likes the containers and the colors. Stop making life so hard for yourself, and just store your makeup someplace else. This isn't a battle worth fighting.

P.S. Try the top of the refrigerator or the top shelf in your clothes closet.

Answer 4

Keep it somewhere else unless you are willing to give him an emotional trauma about touching mom's stuff he's been warned about over and over again (spanking). I'm sure you've tried about everything else.

Keep him busy with activities that aren't watching cartoons alone in his bedroom. Why on earth would you put a TV in a toddlers bedroom?

Answer 5

I am a mother of 5, one singleton who is almost 21, twins girls that are 18 and a set of boy/girl twins that are 12, so I know where you are coming from.

Three years old is not too young for him to understand that he can not touch certain things. That being said, how do you make him stop? My oldest daughter loved to dismantle electronics, mainly my VCRs. She would get up in the middle of the night and in the morning, you guessed it, my VCR would be in pieces in the livingroom floor. I unplugged the electronics at night so that she would not electrocute herself.

Your child has something that they really like, a toy or a video. Take your makeup and bring it in to him. Kneel down and get on his eye level. Tell him that this is yours and he can not touch it. Tell him that if he does touch it you will take his bunny, movie or whatever is his most valued treasure and he will not have it for one day. Also tell him that he will be in the time out chair for 3 minutes. (time out times usually go with their age). Ask him if he understands and wait for him to say yes. Then tell him thank you and put your makeup away.

If he gets into it again, kneel down and explain that he touched your makeup and that was not allowed. Tell him to go get his bunny, movie or whatever it is. Take his currency (his most favored possession) and put it away. Then lead him to the time out chair. (You do not want time out in an area that he can play in) Kneel down and look him in the eyes and tell him that he will sit quietly for 3 minutes because he touched your makeup and that was not allowed and then tell him you will come and talk to him when three minutes is up. Set an egg timer so that you will know when the time is up. When his time is up, kneel down and tell him that touching your makeup was wrong and tell him to say sorry. Give him a hug. If he asks for his currency tell him why he can not have it today.


If you are consistent with this, his behavior will change very quickly. He might not understand that it costs you money when he does this, but he will understand that he losses something when he does it. At three, they understand more than we give them credit for sometimes.

You might also take the TV out of his room if he continues to get into your makeup.


The only other thing that you could do is place your makeup in a lock box, but that is not going to teach him that somethings are not his to play with.

Good luck, it worked for my five and it will work for yours. Twins usually work together at that age so I had to come up with something fast or go into bankruptcy because children like all things mommy.

Here is a website for positive discipline for 3-5 year olds, it may give you some more tips:
www.coursejunction.com/course_detail.cfm/id/1005

Answer 6

You take the make-up down and show him and explain to him that it is mommys and he is not to touch, and if need be, spank his little hand. Then take him in his room and give all the things he can touch, and get him interested in his own toys so he'll forget about your make-up

Answer 7

I am curious why it is your make up exclusively and not any other chore that you do. Maybe Mom looks like she is having fun and playing a game when she puts on make up ! She makes faces, stretches her face purses her mouth, it must be great fun !. Get him crayons and a whole slew of activity books. Maybe he is bored and when he watches you paint your face, he wants to imitate you.
At one occasion draw a face on a piece of paper, then start to color it. He will get the idea. Good luck

Answer 8

First, I would put the make up in a bag and up high enough where he couldn't get to it. Then if that didn't work, I would start taking his favorite toys away, then try time out, then try no shows that he likes, then try sitting him on his bed (no tv, no toys, no nothing) for a period of time, etc. Try and try, you will find somethig that gets his attention, if you do not want to spank.

Answer 9

Well- he is only 3. The best thing I can tell ya is to put it up somewhere he can't get to. If you see him going for it tell him in a stern voice "NO- that's Mommies" That is all I can tell ya. He's 3- he doesn't know why he can't play with the make-up when mommy does.

Answer 10

I have a two year old and a three year old...OMG you cant turn your back for a second. so guess what? i got "hook and eye" locks on every door in the house even the pantry!!! pain in the butt yes, but my kids dont go into a room, that i dont know about! all the upstairs rooms, my room bath room spare room and they boys room(works for time out too!). My youngest is a climber, and loves to climb into the bathroom sink and play in the water, and my fear was him scolding himself...so we locked everything, and now, they dont go into those rooms!