My boyfriend and i have been together for 15months now, and i feel as though im not getting what i need out of the relationship, he is always cranky with me for something ive done or said.. it seems as though WHATEVER i say its something against him or his opinion and he gets angry with me for saying or doing it...
It feels as though whenever i want him to do something for ME, it NEVER gets done, or gets done Weeks or Months after ive asked him.. he cant even pick me up from work at the time ive asked him, he is usually at least 30 minutes late..
I Feel as though i put EVERYTHING into this relationship but i get nothing from him in return... i Watched the break-up the other night (Jennifer Aniston & Vince Vaughn) And realized excatly how alike my boyfriend is too Vince's Character.. I Know alot of people will answer, "Leave this guy" but i LOVE him and KNOW theres a good side to him.. i need to find a way to make him realize what hes doing.. without leaving him or hurting him
2006-10-09 17:02:50 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
take a break, maybe in that time you'll realize that you don't really love/need him and in that time he'll realize/figure out whether he really loves your or not... or he might just end up hooking up w/ someone else and then you can figure out if he's just w/ you so he can have someone readily available for whatever he wants...
it seems like he's hurting and that's why he's always cranky and mad for not reason OR like he doesn't respect you for the same reasons... but i'm leaning towards no respect and no seriousness in the relationship seeing how he's not even will to try to please you too...
the easiest way to make anyone "realize" something is to just let them know... and if you feel that you can't tell him that he's hurting you, then you're not as open in your relationship as you though you were... remember, if you guys really love each other you should be able to be as open w/ ea other as you can and need ea. other to be...
my professor/friend once said [or maybe i read it somewhere... hmm...???] there is a difference in saying/thinking "i love you because i need you versus i need you because i love you"
think about it... you wanna be loved for the sake of being loved, not because you can fulfill someone else's needs... what happens if you can't fulfill those person's need, will they stop loving you?
maybe he's unhappy w/ the relationship... or maybe he wished he was w/ someone else and not w/ you... but whatever it is, he sounds like he's a jerk... and of course whatever you bring up to him will seem like it is his fault, because it is... since he doesn't put effort into him...
try to get the strenght w/in you to leave him, sure, it will hurt like heck, but it'll only make you stronger...
sure, there might be a good side to him but you could spend a whole life looking for it or expecting it to come out... and once you find it, you might realize that it wasn't good enough...
2006-10-09 17:21:20 · answer #1 · answered by M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You put everything in, he puts nothing. I'm tearing up a little as I read that. It sounds like he's a pretty crummy boyfriend, and you're no prize yourself. First, you need to be honest with him about the things he does that bother you. Then you need to accept the fact that he's not listening to you. Then dump him.
The problem is, you're dating a schmuck and you expect him to change, but the only person you can count on to change is you, but you've decided you're the victim. You don't KNOW he has a good side, you just desperately HOPE he does to justify putting up with all his crap. It's pretty clear that the two of you have needs moving in different directions, ie. toward yourselves, and if you can't find some middle ground, you're going to split anyway. And that's assuming he's even interested in you as a woman and not just something to use whenever he hasn't anything better to do.
It should say a lot that you compare your roles in your relationship to Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Anniston, the two most shallow people in America.
2006-10-10 00:16:53 · answer #2 · answered by answersBeta2.1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it might not be entirely possible to get through to him without hurting him.
Still, sit the guy down and tell him exactly how you feel. If he refuses to make an effort to improve, it may be time to move on. If he at least tries to get better than you are right. He's a good guy with some problems. If he refuses, well...relationships are give take after all.
2006-10-10 00:07:35 · answer #3 · answered by Akfek_Branford 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok - forget about sitting down to talk things over cos men don't listen too good.
I guess you should start a little reward program with your boyfriend. Example, tell him that if he picks you up on time from work, you'd show him your new lingerie or something. Be creative and keep 'dem boys interested. Let your imagination go wild and you'd both be happier.
2006-10-10 00:14:28 · answer #4 · answered by Rin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys always do this! They do the same shyt over and over until they push you away. Even though you love him, you need him to change. But I have been in this situation, and let me tell you...they NEVER change! If you threaten to break up with him, he might get a little better, but it will only be temporary. The question you need to ask yourself is...*how much* do you love him?
2006-10-10 00:10:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't change a man once he stops wearing diapers. Any change has to come from his end and he has to want it, not you. The best you will ever be treated by him is during the courtship phase, once your married, it will get even worse. You deserve better, so start looking. Fixer uppers only work for apartments, homes, and cars.
2006-10-10 00:07:21 · answer #6 · answered by Mr Cellophane 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the only way to do this is to actually sit down with him and tell him how he makes you feel. I went through all this at one point aswell. If you tell him how you are feeling and get a response to run with than thats terrific...if you dont..than chances are its not going to work out. Also dont be too needy, that drives men away. Good Luck
2006-10-10 00:06:10 · answer #7 · answered by greatgiginthesky_80 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes it takes a boy some time to become a man.
2006-10-10 00:05:37 · answer #8 · answered by TravisButtaz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A trial seperation is like a glass of cold water. If you stay he will NEVER change
2006-10-10 00:06:30 · answer #9 · answered by 2fine4u 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to decide if this is HOW YOU WANT TO LIVE. It's YOUR life, so make your decision based on YOU and NOT on what your decision will mean for or to HIM!
2006-10-10 00:09:43 · answer #10 · answered by backinbowl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋