i'm afraid to send my daughter to school!... am i freaking out?

Question

with all the news about shootings, and all the sexual harrasment, etc... i dont want her to go to school! do you think she'll reproach me for not sending her to school?

Answer 1

No, I think you should freak out. I have five children and I have done both public school and home school. Home school is the way I wish everyone would go but sadly public school has become daycare for people who wish to prioritize other importances in their lives rather than their children first.

When I started looking into homeschooling and did it the first time with our oldest daughter sadly I did it the public school way. It was tedious and boring for her. We both hated it.

When we decided to do it the second time around 4 years later that same daughter came to me and was actually pressuring me to do home school again because public school was so bad for her with rough kids, not being challenged enough, so on and so forth. I knew from our first experience wtih home school that if she was asking to do it, then things were really bad.

This time I prayed about it and my friend who home schooled too gave me this priceless book to read called "Thomas Jefferson Education." It was everything my values and morals embodied. I have been homeschooling for the last year now and I can never go back, for two reasons. One because it has brought our family closer together than I could have ever imagined. Two because of what I know now from reading this book I can't send them for more reasons than just the shootings and sexual harassment.

There is a better way. Why should we let our children spend 8 hours a day 5 days a week with someone we call a "trained professional." What do we really know of these adults who will make a huge impact on their little lives. They will have spent a good 50% of their lives with people we trust, but why do we trust them? They went to school, but what about the values and morals they may be influencing our children with? If you were in a long line at a store and your child was acting like they needed to use the bathroom but you hadn't noticed yet and a nice professionally dresses woman walked up and said I can take her to the restroom if you like, I'm an elementary school teacher, see here's my degree. Would you really let them go with this stranger? I realize this analogy isn't the best one, but you get the idea. I also realize there are many good and dedicated educators out there but how can you tell which are which? How can we know the difference.

And not to mention their class mates they are also spending all this time with too, and then we call this socialization. Since when does a child have to learn to deal with the world and how to handle it at age 5? If we are to learn anything in life should we learn by having a good solid foundation first of the basic principles of that subject from trained profeesional, then try our hand at it when we are prepared, or should we just say ok I'm going to throw you in the pool, "sink or swim honey, That's just the way it's got to be done." By the way this book will cover all your aprehensions about homeschooling and the grief you will get from others if you decide to make that choice for your baby.

I STRONGLY recommend you read this book if you are having any reserves at all about sending your baby to public school. If you need help finding the book as I'm not sure you can find it on Amazon and such, just email me and I would be happy to help you find it or answer any questions you may have.
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I know your daughter will not reproach you if you use this system. I was afraid my 10 year old who wanted to do it would come back and change her mind but she loves home school now and wouldn't go back to the old way - (the public school) way if anyone paid her. My 5 year old loves it too. When you read the book, I hope you are a "think outside the box kind of person." If you are you will love this h.s. method of teaching. There are many other families in my city using this method too and they love it as well.

Answer 2

It's better to send her to school than to homeschool her, in most cases. Sure, you can teach her at home, and I would encourage that. All parents should teach right from wrong and use what's in the environment around them to help teach their children those important lessons. Sheltering will hurt her learning processes. Educating will last her a life time and she will take that knowledge everywhere she goes and be very productive.

It helps if you are very educated or a quick learner too. Some parents are more fit to home school than others. How patient are you, how orderly, has the child been assessed for any learning issues or giftedness.... Do a lot of research first. Some children have different needs than others.

You're a caring parent though. Understand the concerns definitely.

Answer 3

It would help if you told us how old your daughter is.

If she's young and not yet in school, take the time to learn about homeschooling and find out if it's something you feel prepared to do.

If she's already in school, edcuate her on her level. Explain to her things that could happen and what she can do and what she should do. Do this frequently, not just once and think it's a done deal. As you do this, look into homeschooling. You might just mention to her that you are learning more about homeschooling and wondering what she thought of it.

That you are afraid your child will 'reproach' you causes me some concern. It suggests she has the upperhand in your relationship, or at the very least you are under her thumb emotionally, that you do things because you are afraid of feeling badly about her feeling badly or about her getting angry. Take care of your mother-daughter relationship before any possibility of homeschooling.

Answer 4

I appreciate your concern.

I think things like sexual harassment is much less than before, when children were afraid to report it. The predators have always been there -- they get caught and tagged now.

And the shootings are unique incidents and not by any means common or typical or even slightly likely to happen in your sphere.

The world simply is not that scary, so yeah ... you are freaking out some, but it's understandable. It's your child!

The key is to not be over-protective in a way that isolates her from the world around her.

Good luck .

Answer 5

Send her to school. Private school if you can, but public too is fine depending where you live. Homeschooling a child to give them a better education than they can get in a public school, because they have special needs (ex. they were severely traumatized and won't leave the house), or even for religious reasons is fine. Often times it's even a good thing. But when parents homeschool their kids "to keep them safe" or because they're trying to protect them from the outside world, that messes kids up.

Even with all the school shottings, keep in mind that you don't hear about the several million kids who make it through safely each year. Although a small number of kids are shot at school, your kid still has a better chance of being struck by lightening than being killed at school. Besides, if you homeschool her, what if there's an earthquake and the house falls down? It's normal to worry about your child, but there's a point at which you have to just let her go and hope for the best.

Answer 6

I don't think that fear should be a sole reason used in making decisions. Technically, considering that there are thousands of schools in the U.S., the chances of your child being shot are relatively small.

As for reproach, just look at the world around you. How many teens have bitter and angry relationships with their parents and they do go to school? Tons. However, people still send their children off to school anyway despite whether or not their children hate school. Even many who do well in school have a crappy relationship with their parents because they've been practically raised by their peers. What idiot decided that children need to be around children to learn how to socialize as adults? How did people socialize and progress before forced schooling?

There are great reasons to home educate and I do believe that the public schools have a place and that there are many great teachers...BUT looking back at my own education I can honestly say that out of my entire 12 years of school, I only remember having 3 great teachers. The majority of my teachers were mediocre, lame, boring, non-involved, etc and a few were total perverts. They did not inspire me at all. I wish that I could've been home schooled.

Here is a great site that I absolutely love that is full of articles about children and learning: http://www.naturalchild.org/articles/learning.html

And here is John Taylor Gatto's site, http://www.johntaylorgatto.com/underground/index.htm, where you can read the book "The Underground History of American Education" for free, it is truly an eye opener.

As long as you love your child, make home schooling not just educational but fun and develop a great relationship with your child, they will be fine.

Frankly, the whole socialization argument against home educating is moot...no one "needs" that kind of socialization. Many children in school do not go to proms, dances, homecoming, play in sports, etc. Those things are relatively minor in life, some people love those things about school but many HATE those things and many could care less one way or the other.

Good luck no matter what, just remember, this is your daughter and you do what YOU feel is best. Read up on home schooling and if it is truly for you, you will come to know that it really is great for not only children, but for maintaining a strong family bond. There are good times and bad but in our home, my kids love being out and about in life and not in a brick building, stuffed in a little desk, having to raise their hands to go potty, for eight hours a day, five days a week.

Answer 7

I feel your concern as I have 4 in school myself. I bet those parents who just buried there children wished they had the option to home school their children. Each year, correction each week things seem to get worse. When I went to school there was no such thing as one child or adult walking into a school and pulling out anything more dangerous than a sling shot and now look at the world scene. It isn't going to get any better because people have no control over their emotions or actions and the police nor the government seem able to find a solution to the violence. They try to calm the people with words like "This is an isolated event", but I ask do these events look isolated? Follow your instincts to protect your child while you still have her!!!! I would do the same for mine.

Answer 8

There is so much more to school than shootings and sexual harassment. (yes, thus your "etc."). The negative issues are very real and need to be faced with a sense of resolve. BY ADULTS NOT BY CHILDREN. That is why I don't send my children into the public system. I want them to be raised by parents that love them and not by strangers.

When I first considered the option of home-education for my family I thought about all of the negative reasons to stay away from the group-schools. And I also thought about many of the benefits of family based education.

There are hundreds of books written about home-schooling. Get a few of them and study about this great opportunity.

After 18+ years of home-school I can honestly and confidently tell you that home-school is good. It works and it should be considered as a viable option by everyone that has children.

Answer 9

Fear should not be your main motivation for pulling your child out of school.
Nor should fear of reproach from your child be any motivation for doing what you think is best.
If you are seriously considering home education as a do-able alternative for your family, then research it, find out if this is really something you want as a long term commitment for your family, then begin taking the steps to get you to your goal.
If you are serious, www.hslda.org is a good place to begin your research. (homeschool legal defense association)

Answer 10

I have 2 teens that are home schooled and one this year that decided to go to a public school- I was scared when she wanted to go and at still worry because she is in a school where their have been some gang turf wars... so far she is fine and enjoying the experience from it.
I am glad I let her because otherwise she might always wonder what she missed....