My boyfriend and I went out for 18 months but he kept hanging out with friends who were girls that had been his sexual partner in the past (?) I tried to be mature and accepting, but the little doubts began to grow and fester. His phone was a prize possession that I had the hands off from him, and I wondered about the texting, and messages? Well, recently he was making great strides in being with me more and enjoying our intimacy and not including all the losers he usually hangs with. But, twice this week he was on errands that he took too long doing and I just couldn't put the insecurity and doubts to rest. He seems astonished that he put effort in and NOW I am leaving....and I feel like unless there is a dramatic change in his lifestyle that I just can't take it anymore...and I am sad and wonder if I hung in during this effort would I have reaped the benefits or just hung on for more future disappointments?
2006-10-09 16:28:50 · 8 answers · asked by aloofbuthot2 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
IT NORMAL TO FEEL AS YOU DO, YOU WERE WITH HIM FOR
SOME TIME. BUT IT SOUND LIKE YOU NEED TO LET IT
GO AND MOVE ON.HE MAY TRY TO DO BETTER, BUT AS
THEY SAY A LEOPARD CANT CHANGE HIS STRIPES. SO
BE WARE OF THAT, OTHER WISE YOU WILL HAVE A LOT
OF DISAPPOINTMENT DOWN THE ROAD.
2006-10-09 16:34:52 · answer #1 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Aloof,
It's hard to know what "could have been" in the future, so you have to see if you made the right decision NOW. Give it time, like dating others, and just keep busy.
When you said you couldn't put your insecurity and doubts to rest, then going by that, it was that "Gut" feeling no doubt, letting you know you don't have trust for the guy.
Once you haven't seen each other, ya know, taking space, you will know if you made the right move or not.
Maybe he changed his ways when he realized he was losing you, and some people just "wake" up when the "better half", or beau does break things off and walk away, and/or Vice versa.
When you are ready, take your time and find another guy. The next one you might "Click.!"
You're doing fine.
2006-10-09 23:47:17 · answer #2 · answered by julesrules 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you need to have a chat with him and tell him how you feel. I am not saying lay down an ultimatum but I am saying that you should give him a choice between continuing your relationship or keeping his friendships. If he chooses his friends, consider yourself all the better for not having him around anymore. The next guy will be the one that gets to enjoy spending time with you. Stand firm and keep your chin up.
2006-10-09 23:32:34 · answer #3 · answered by Red1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont use your feelings to make decisions. Your feelings are often wrong. Use logic if you can. Find a way to insure that he is cheating. Follow him or have one of your friends do it.
Your feelings could be wrong and he might be being honest with you. Unless you have proof you will never know, and you might leave him for nothing.
2006-10-09 23:36:27 · answer #4 · answered by jw 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
usually if you are suspicious of your partner's behavior, there is a reason for your suspicions... and no one can change unless they want to.... I think you did the right thing by breaking up with him
2006-10-09 23:32:56 · answer #5 · answered by Stephanie73 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's tough to make it work when there's no trust. If you aren't happy that's an important factor you need to keep in mind when trying to answer your question.
2006-10-09 23:32:16 · answer #6 · answered by CC 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what a lot of other girls do and become friends with his other "girlfriends" so you will know what exactly he is up to. He will get upset, but you will tell him "Hay!!! We are just friends..."
2006-10-09 23:34:48 · answer #7 · answered by Noclone 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are doing the right thing. if he has to try then he won't be able to keep it up. get out while you still can hun
2006-10-09 23:34:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋