I got these in an email awhile back, if you got some, post 'em, I love to read 'em!
QUICKIES
#1) One day, a husband came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want." So he tied her up and went fishing.
#2) A woman came home, screeching! her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, "Honey, pack your bags. I won the da** lottery!" The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?" "Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get the he** out."
#3) Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband.
2006-10-09 16:17:18 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
#4)
A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license. First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test. The optician showed him
a card with the letters: 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.' "Can you read this?" the optician asked.
"Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."
#5) Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, "I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent."
"Thank God," said an elderly nun at the back. "I'm so tired of chardonnay."
#6) Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army. On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb.That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair. On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth. On the third day , the Army issued him a jock strap. The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years now.........
2006-10-09 16:21:29 · update #1
I love those!!! I get tons everyday too and tried to find some,but all I the ones I could find were really long. Here's the only short one I could come up with quickly:
The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily
against a wall. The owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?"
The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative. "
The owner says, "You idiot! You can't treat a cough with laxatives!"
The clerk says, "Bullsh**, look at him, he's afraid to cough."
2006-10-09 16:44:35 · answer #1 · answered by raiden 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Do you assume opposite psychology could paintings on the YA censors, actual? LOL. you have extra often than no longer been putting out with that Helga woman as quickly as extra! LOL. LOL. Take care; the vicious little piranhas swim in this water. LOL. Have a high quality evening time, and week!
2016-10-16 00:46:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh gosh, I can relate to the Polish one. I know this one guy and I've resorted to calling him "swish swizz swick" because I can't pronounce his family name. It's a scream.
2006-10-09 16:31:43 · answer #3 · answered by boo! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like #6 funny
2006-10-09 16:25:44 · answer #4 · answered by medic 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Poor Herman. Now that's funny, i don't care who ya are.
2006-10-09 16:27:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
cute especially 2
2006-10-09 16:23:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The polish one was so funny.
2006-10-09 17:21:23 · answer #7 · answered by jen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Knock, knock
who's there
Jamaican
Jamaican who?
Jamaican me crazy
2006-10-09 18:32:55 · answer #8 · answered by GoingNoWhereFast 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL. They're Goodies! LOL.
2006-10-11 08:18:59 · answer #9 · answered by jfmm 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hilarious!
2006-10-09 17:56:15 · answer #10 · answered by snowy dragon 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋