The mother and I were never married but had a son over 8 years ago. She married 5 years ago to a military guy. Recently she decided to move to Texas. Lied to me about that move as she trained my son to lie to me in order to move, stating that she was taking the family to a water park for a vacation. After the move she concealed his whereabouts until we found her with a PI. We are trying to gain custody of our son at a hearing before a juvenile court judge on November 3, 2006. I am trying to gain custody of my child as the father. How do I prepare for this hearing? I have never done anything like this in my life. What are the do's and don'ts ?? How
can I win as the father as I have heard it is impossible. I have a stable home. My wife is a RN, MSN (Family Nurse Practioner). We have 2 sons who are in school and have a beautiful home. I am a loving father to all my son's and spend a great deal of time with them. I am a pediatrician with much experience in family matters.
2006-10-09 15:45:30 · 9 answers · asked by Jerome A S 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
First off, you have a lot of evidence that she was trying to take your child from you- so that helps. Here's the thing though- most courts are going to believe you over her any day! They have this thing where they think women are just evil bit**es and that we want to screw men over. Which- some of us do- but play that in your favor. Just be careful because you don't know if she can get your son to say you did something bad to him or whatever. Make sure you let the judge know how much you love your son and show him/her that you have been involved the whole time. That's all the advice I can give ya. Hope it helps.
2006-10-09 16:03:09 · answer #1 · answered by Tammy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband has a 5 year old and never married the mom. Split up when baby was4 mth. no courts involved. We went to a lawyer when mom no longer wanted baby. Got joint custody, we are now in court for full custody. You need to get a fathers advocate lawyer. The fact that she up and moved with out telling you will help. Also that you are stable. Sounds like she isn't, being a military wife.Also is your name on the birth certificate? If not you might have a harder time. And have you paid child support, and kept records of it? Keep being a good dad see your son as much as you can, call everyday, and keep sending support.Will all help your case, don't get in fights with your ex stay as nice as you can. don't add fuel to the fire. Good luck hope it works out for you. Find a good lawyer.
2006-10-09 23:31:35 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need a really good lawyer b/c usually unless the mom is abusive or on drugs, she always gets the child - were you in your son's life before the move to texas? if you've always been around then you have a better chance - did you have any court agreement when she lied and moved? most court ordered custody agreements say that the child can't leave the state w/o the courts permission and if she did, she broke the law - it could get nasty - good luck!
2006-10-09 22:52:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a letter of affidavit from the PI...or have him testify. Have a damn good lawyer. Get any and all info on the mother that you can (good & especially bad). You may need to prove her unfit in order to gain custody. STAY IN CONTACT WITH THE CHILD NO MATTER WHAT IT TAKES. Write him, call him, see him...heck, write him a letter a day and SEND IT! It shows how much you care for him and how much you want him in your life. Don't give up!!! The better you look to the judge and the worse she looks all works in YOUR favor. DO WHATEVER IT TAKES! I know this from my own past experience. PLEASE TAKE MY ADVICE.
2006-10-09 23:07:30 · answer #4 · answered by moonbaby3504 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the same prob. First have a lawyer. Don't bad mouth the ex in front of the judge, show proof of her deceit. How does your son feel about all of this. He may want to stay with his mother. In the end, he may have lied to you because he wants to be with his mom. Anyways, good luck and I hope everything works out for the best for your son.
2006-10-09 23:25:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she did what you say she did and moved without telling you and concealed his whereabouts, you aren't going to have a problem. Unless she can prove that you have abused or neglected your son in some way, she really doesn't have a leg to stand on. Just make sure you have documentation of everything you can possibly think of and you won't have a problem.
2006-10-10 02:11:01 · answer #6 · answered by gotanswers 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you have her in a bind just with the fact that she moved and lied to you not telling you she was moving. It would be different if you weren't having anything to do with him but you do and want to so good luck. She sounds like a piece of work. The judge should be able to see that and the lawyer should know how to bring that up.
2006-10-10 17:44:25 · answer #7 · answered by jewell2578 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to seek out a lawyer that has a lot of family law experience. The judge is not going to look kindly on her getting your son to lie to you. You need to document everything that she said or did, and get a letter of affidavit from the PI that you hired.
2006-10-09 22:50:59 · answer #8 · answered by Ryan's mom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, you must pray for your children, because obviously their lives are going to be screwed up royally by the mistakes you and their mother have made. I really feel sorry for them. Second, find a good lawyer.
2006-10-09 22:52:13 · answer #9 · answered by Charles C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋