My partner and I concieved using artificial insemination. Our son will not have a father in his life, but will have two dedicated moms. Do you think he will stuggle with this, what do you think we can do to make it easier for him expecially when he's in school.
2006-10-09 14:04:47 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Be honest... He will notice he has two moms while other children do not... Love him, care for him, disipline him when needed, raise him the best way you know how and he will turn out well..
Children with alternative (I hate that term) families do very well in school, each family is different from another in some way, that's what gives each of us our unique upbringing...
Look for the books "All Kinds of Families" and "Love Makes A Family" there are several other children's books that depoct families of all kinds..
Teach your child to accept that not everyones family looks the same and families don't always mean a mom and dad raising a child... Families can be grandparent(s), aunt, uncle, life partner, older sibling, etc. raising loving, cherishing a child... As the title of a very informative book says "Love Makes A Family"...
Good Luck, You can do a marvelous job many have before you... Try contacting Gay and Lesbian Parents Coalition International
http://milepost1.com/~gaydad/Support.Groups.html
They have alot of resources and information that can help you along the way...
An article about children of gay and lesbian parents..
http://www.drspock.com/article/0,1510,4028,00.html
2006-10-09 14:28:28 · answer #1 · answered by Diane (PFLAG) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my kids have no father. I have taught them as they grew that there are all sorts of families. Some with a mum and dad. Some with a mum, some with a dad some kids live with grandparents or relatives or some kids in foster care. I have to say I haven't included same sex couples raising a child I will have to ad that next time it comes up. My kids are happily adjusted and when asked why they don't have a dad at 5 i heard them say we just don't but we have a Gran And grandad and Aunty and a Nanna (all very involved in their lives) They just accept that our family is a family just like everyone elses but it has no Dad. He probably will be teased at some point as children raised by homophobic parents sadly learn from them but all kids get picked on for something whether it be the colour of their hair, the way they dress or the fact that they have two mums. When it does happen he will probably handle it well . The best thing you can teach him for when this happens is to say "So!" "You have two mums" "So" there is no comeback to this. It ends it. Tell him even if he feels sad he is being teased not to show it. Just state SO and look them in the eye. Then after a few seconds to turn and walk off. I tell my kids this is the way to deal with any teasing (so far have not had to use it). "So" finishes the conversation and allows it to go no where, so if they continue then he continues with "So" or "so what" I wish your family good luck that you never have to be concerned and he grows up knowing he is loved as this is the most important thing
2006-10-09 23:54:06 · answer #2 · answered by Rachel 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My concern is that it is a boy being raised without a father.
Please, for your son's sake, have a grandpa, uncle or some close male influence that can teach him "guy stuff" that we women just don't get. A man who is willing to be around a lot.
My daughters "sperm donor" took off before she was born, and sadly, she suffered for not having a dad.
Teach him to have a sense of humor about your family as well. A positive attitude will go far. That which doesn't seem to hurt, mean kids won't use as a target. Maybe have him say, yea I have 2 moms, but I get twice as much...(whatever is fitting)
We found the most help from our church family. Maybe you can get connected to a church where you can be welcomed and accepted. Somewhere where he can feel connected to others outside as well as inside your family. He needs a safe place to express his feelings without feeling like he's hurting you, because he will need to talk through his emotions as he gets older.
I'm glad you two are dedicated to doing your best with him. Thats what it takes to raise a healthy child. Parenting isn't easy, and it can be downright challenging!
Be open, honest and understand that being raised with two moms will be tough for him no matter how "normal" you try to make his life.
I wish you luck, love and peace in your journey.
2006-10-09 15:11:25 · answer #3 · answered by my-kids-mom 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He will have two parents to love him, God has already blessed this child. How lucky is he!?!?! Sure, some will stare, talk and make their opinions known. My son's biological father was never in his life even though we were together for 11 years, married 7. Now he has a step dad for the past 11 years, a real dad. Biological or not, two females, two males, what makes a parent is the love they show the child. Let people talk. Most of my friends in a "normal marriage" with children fight, are only together for the child and are not good examples. Let them talk, as long as you and your partner are there to support your child and love your child, he'll be just fine. God Bless You.
2006-10-09 14:16:11 · answer #4 · answered by BIZ Z 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, any baby would be fortunate to have two loving parents (be it moms or dads or both). As for his upbringing, a male presence might make things easier...especially in school. Do you or your partner have a brother or male friend who could be active in your son's life? As long as he has a male role model...someone about whom he could say, "Well, I don't have a dad, but I have === and we're very close," then he should be fine. As you know, many children don't have fathers, so any love and attention from beyond you and your partner is a bonus. Good luck and congratulations!
2006-10-09 14:12:20 · answer #5 · answered by WonderingWanderer 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I dont really approve of it with certain circumstances but at times I do. I believe if u can be wonderful parents to this child then it is ok. I dont approve of same sex relationships and kids when the child is around kissing,touchy feeling behavior. I dont believe a child should grow up to believe that is ok because in essence it is not. If u and your partner love eachother more power to you just dont bring the child into your physical relationship, they will not understand and they will get mixed signals. I have no problem with bisexuals,homosexuals etc. I think u are free to do whatever makes u happy. A man comes into my job all the time, he is a gay male who adopted a biracial little girl. I swear to you this is the nicest man I have ever met in my life,he is absolutely a WONDERFUL father to his baby girl and I dont think anyone else could be as great of father as he is to her.I will be honest with you, he will ask questions,wonder,people will make fun probably and he will get upset with the both of you at times but he will still LOVE you. Just be honest with him and tell him just because he does not have a daddy does not mean he is not loved. Play ball with him,teach him little man things,tell him about girls and take him to his first game, he will see the father in both of you regardless of your sex. Rosie O'donald dealt with the same situation when her son got a little older and understood a little more and she did what she had to do to make him feel like there was the presence of a daddy in the house. Right now just concentrate on giving that child tons of love and im sure u will make out ok, dont let anyone put your decision down. Good Luck and Congrats!!
2006-10-09 15:20:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It will be hard at times and I am not saying that because he has two moms, its just hard period without a male figure in the home I know because my husband and I seperated when my son was 4 and we had a few rough times.I noticed one thing that helped alot was getting him into sports where there will be alot of males to communicate with.Also boy scouts really helped my son alot he was in it for like 6 years and really enjoyed it.And like everyone else said a family member or male friend that he can get some what close to would really help also.Good Luck and God Bless.
2006-10-09 14:26:18 · answer #7 · answered by lynda p 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My only opinion on your situation is that I think it would help to have some type of male figure/role model for your son. I was raised by a single father throughout my teenage years and even though he was dedicated to me and willing to listen and help me as much as he could I always wished I had a loving female in my life to go to sometimes. Other than that, just always be honest with him and be there for him.
2006-10-09 14:10:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think he'll be just fine with two mothers. There are programs like Big Brothers/Big Sisters to help out with the male role in his life. I do think it's important to have a father figure (or any male) for the mere reson to have someone to talk to on "guy" terms. He'll be just fine--I have no doubt about that! Best of luck and congratulations.
2006-10-09 14:37:51 · answer #9 · answered by .vato. 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As he grows up he will probably have a favorite uncle or another male in the family which will help. As he is growing up just keep reassuring him that having two mom's isn't bad and is normal in this day and time so when he starts school some kids may bother him but it won't bother him personally because he will no that it is normal.
2006-10-09 14:12:56 · answer #10 · answered by mommy_ferrill 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋