My daughter has a bf?

Question

My 12 year daughter told me that everyone in her school has like you know a partner. She told me that she has a boyfriend now and she has kissed him..... even had sex once in his garage using protection. How can I help her and what should I tell her about this.

Answer 1

First of all & most important be there for her no matter what. No matter how mad or upset you get, let her know that you love her and she can tell you anything. She obviously knows that she can talk to you - just remember to keep this communication line open. Everyone is giving you the 3rd degree about her age. Yes, this is to young but if she wants to do it, no matter what you say is going to change what she does. Talk to her about sex, take her to the doctor, get her on birth control, give her information on all the diseases that she can catch and talk to her about it.
If possible find some teenage mothers in your community and let her talk to them about how it has changed there lives. Talking to other teens will go alot farther than getting the no-no speech over and over again.
Try to be the best parent possible and the rest is in Gods hands. Good Luck

Answer 2

R u serious??? That is wayyy to young to be having sex. dont u talk to your baby*thats what she is at this age about being pure and saving herself until marriage or at least until she is an ADULT. The dangers of having sex so early on are tremendous. Do u know that most girls with std's are under the age of 17? Your child can get a disease of some sort even if she is using birth control, they do not protect against HIV/AIDS. Plus the possibility of getting pregnant? U need to talk to her,give her a lecture. I would have beat her ever lovin A**. And how dirty is that? 12 yrs old in a garage? Is that the true way to actually lose your virginity if she was a virgin. 12 yr olds should be thinking about barbies and hair bows not having sex. U should be keeping a way better eye out on your child. She hasent even reached full puberty yet,still has her baby fat. On the other hand having a boyfriend is even way to young. U need to tell her that sex should be saved til marriage,the consequences of having sex early on and boys for that matter...Oh too late now! I have the perfect link for you http://www.mauryshow.com/..I dont feel sorry for u or her, u could have prevented this from happening, be prepared for the worse.

Answer 3

BEAT HER ***!!! That's what my mama did to my sister. She became celibate until marriage! And I know a lot of people are saying to talk to her about it, and to tell her about birth control and STD's but trust me, she don't want to hear that. First, you need to tell her how dissapointed you are. Second, you need to tell her that she is way too young to be having sex. I am 15 and I still haven't had sex. I'm sorry, but this was surprising. 12? My God that's young. But really a good ol' fashioned beating never hurt nobody. I mean, sex that's a biiiiiiiiiiiiiiggggggggg issue nowadays. I don't even understand why so many kids are willing to give it up to almost anybody. So you need to nip that **** in the bud before it gets bigger. Let her know that sex is more serious than how she is taking it. Tell her you're happy she used protection, but protection or not, she still shouldn't be doing it. Just because everyone else out there is doing it, don't mean she should be doing it too. Beat her ***. It will work, trust me. Talking don't always work for everybody, so sometimes you gotta break it down with a belt or something. Get in her face. But don't make her hate you, because then she'll really go and mess up. Well, hope everything works out for the better.

Answer 4

boot camp for this girl. I don't mean to be ugly, but sometimes tough love will teach them a lesson. like everyone on here said, talk and educate, however show her the worse possible thing that could happen such as take her to the place where people are sick of HIV/AIDS, see the people who ended up being pregnant at an early age, and show pics of stds with the Dr. and how they effect one's body. If she was mine, she'd be in deep water until she's 21 before she leaves the house, that's how I was rared/culture. OOh, by the way, don't even let the boy go that easily. It wasn't just the girl having sex, it takes two to do it. I would calmly call the boy's parents up and talk firmly about his part in this. He should be whooped BIG time as well, who is he to be doing w/anybody, who knows how girls he's been with already.

Answer 5

Kids now a days are a lot more mature than we were. My daughter is 10 years old and has a boyfriend. I hope that she is not having sex, but if she is - I hope that she is smart enough to use protection like your daughter. Just keep talking to your kids, and try to make sure that they know about safe sex. I do not care what anyone says about not talking to kids about sex. If you do not, then your daughter might of come out pregnant at 12 - or had some kind of VD. Just keep talking to your daughter.

Answer 6

i know this is quite sudden and hard for you. i understand how you are feeling. what i can say though is this, dont scold her in any way or yell at her cause this may cause her to rebel. you might wanna plan a day where both of you would go out and talk to her heart to heart. dont be too authoritative when you say that its early for her to have a boyfriend. try to be a friend to her and make sure you tell her in a way that she can understand how you fear for her to be in such situation and what the possible consequences she can get if ever she goes deeper into this situation or relationship. let her understand how important education is and how it would do her good if she focus on her studies first before she indulge deep into this relationship she's having. be her friend and dont let her down so that you can have the upper hand when it comes to company. i'm pretty sure these guys are trying things out and some of them are not there for long so you have to prove to her that you're all she's got in the end. be a friend to her, listen to her, dont fight with her but instead guide her and protect her in ways that she cant see. all i can do is pray for you and your daughter's guidance. good luck.

Answer 7

first i'd bring her to the doctor and get the virgin test. if she's already had sex at 12 because she' thinks she's old enough, she's old enough to go to the gyno and get tested for std's. then i'd find out the identity of the boy and let his parents know. then i'd make sure that they understand that this seems to be thier lack of responsiblity and make sure they know that their child is niot to be around mine as they have already proven themselves to be too stupid to hang around each other. then, just for kicks, i'd get video tape of a live birth, all up in there, btw, and make her watch it. then just to drive the point home, i'd volunteer her to babysit a newborn, a 2 year old and a 5 year old, supervised, overnight so that she may fully understand the ramifications of her actions. oh and definitely she'd be grounded for...9 months. also, you said everyonein her school has a partner. why does your daughter feel the need to do whatever everyone else is doing? have you not taught her anything about peer pressure?

Answer 8

Ok wait a min.... your 12 year old had sex already and in a garage, where the hell were you??? If she was taught any morals she would have never been doing the nasty in a nasty garage at the age of 12.... seems like your the one who needs to be dealt with! She's still a baby!

Answer 9

Well! This is serious! 12 years is too early for sex. Just try to speak to her right now and persuade her to not do anything like this again. If she doesnt bother, give her a piece of advice about the upcoming diseases of such kind and tell her to be concious of these facts. Being strict wont help as the kids of todays generation never give a thing to it!

Answer 10

First, be glad she told you. I would have never told my mother for fear of being killed. Second, take her to a doctor. If she's having sex, she needs to be checked out. Whether or not she said they used protection. There may be other times she didn't tell you about because she didn't think they 'counted.' Last, talk to her and find out why her self esteem is so low she needs to be following a trend like this. She needs to have the respect for herself to say no, and she isn't. That needs a hard look, Mama.