Big problem!!!!! Ok I love my bf and he said he love me to very much. But he gets mad so easy he is very sensitive, and I am the kind of person that cant get mad so easily when he is mad I call him like 10times and say what is wrong with I worry about him so much, and I end up saying sorry for stuff I really didn’t do. And I told my self many times that I am not going to call him for a couple of days and I end up calling himafter5 min. anyway a couple weeks ago he was talking about moving in together and I said no not yet he go mad for like a week and we forget all about it we had a lot of sex and all that, and know last week he was talking about opening an account together so we can start saving money together. I mean I don’t want to do that but he is going to get mad very mad, but I don’t know what is really going to happen to us, I mean I cant say that to him I said ok, but I really don’t want to do it he said next week??? What should I do what do u guys think
2006-10-09 12:26:56 · 18 answers · asked by sweet84 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Don't do it! In my experience the best way to handle this is to make him understand whats yours should be kept yours and his should be kept his. You don't want him going out and haveing dinner on you expense as much as he doens't want you going out and shopping on yours. Also it sounds like you hate to fight well sister you get that account with him get ready for the fights. Unless you both make the same amount of money and spend the same amount of money. There really is no need for it and even after you finally decide to move in, you should still keep a seperate account. if anything ever happened... if he ever got mad for days at a time he could drain that account just to get you mad too... you know what i mean? i've had it happen to me before... it wasn't even his account i just let him use my pin on my debit every once in a while. i'm not saying its definitly going to happen but definitly listen to that small doubt and make him mad now because hes just going to be even more mad later. Hope this helps!!
2006-10-09 12:33:33 · answer #1 · answered by seekonkgirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you have to make the decision that is best for you, and not one that you make out of what will make him happy. Because what makes him happy may not make you happy.
It really sound like you both are playing games with each other, and perhaps need a break. Remember our decisions sometimes have consequences, like sex before marriage, do you want to add kids to this madness?
At this point I don't advise you to move in with the boyfriend or start an account with him. Having your own account is better, that way if you decide to go your separate ways, you can make a clean break without a lot of confusion. Remember all states are not common law states.
I would also suggest that maybe your boyfriend get into some type of anger management class. You both could also benefit from attending a class for couples in your local church.
2006-10-09 12:36:43 · answer #2 · answered by seriouslady4sure 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, try to find the middle path. I wouldn't suggest going along with him in opening a joint account. But you don't have to be abrupt in your answer. Try reasoning it out. you can explain to him that opening an account together really isn't required at this stage. In fact, its not even required after marriage. You can save separately and, according to the law of conservation of finances, its the same as saving in the same account. I would never advocate a joint account. you know what they say, money can sour any relationship. You should keep money matters mutually exclusive with people you love.
2006-10-09 12:38:55 · answer #3 · answered by Quaint Querier 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, first, it sounds like my husband, who I just recently married. If you have doubts then I wouldn't do it, or I wouldn't invest a ton of money until you see where this relationship is going. Also, talk to your bank. Some banks have a limit of how much you can withdrawal or you can set something up, say a 500 dollar limit so that is as much that can be withdrawn on any given day. Then if something did happen he couldn't totally screw you. But once again,I'd look at the anger thing. If he is unpredictable it's probably better to wait until he can prove that he isn't going to screw you over.
2006-10-09 12:31:59 · answer #4 · answered by Meg 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Step back an look at the big picture your boyfriend is a CONTROL FREAK if he gets mad so much.Please please do not move in with this man an make babies!! Whos life are you living your or his??? The only account you need to open is one to save to get as far away from him as you possibly can! Then take a good long look at your insecurities and like yourself before you go into another relationship
2006-10-09 12:34:27 · answer #5 · answered by blue_eyed_woman_of_3 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't even open an account with my husband now-a-days...NO J/K. But seriously you know the answer to this......Chances are he wants you to "save money" and then run off with it and your dignity. If he gets mad when you say you do not want to...you will know you made the right choice because there is a reason he is mad.....He wants your MONEY!
2006-10-09 12:31:16 · answer #6 · answered by jessica_121212 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no. obviously your guys relationship is not going to go much farther. you worry about him alot and he doesnt want you to and he gets very mad. if your afraid of your boyfriend getting mad at you then there is something wrong and you should end this relationship. you shouldnt not do things you want to do or stand up for yourself just because your afraid your bf will get mad. get out of this relationship while you can. also, i would not recommmend opening the account because if you guys do break up then it will be hard to close it and he might use your money and you could end up going to court.
2006-10-09 12:31:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont do it till you are married...then there will be legalities to protect your interest in the account...you could agree to a shared account that you deposit only what you want too...but remember if he's a player he could clean you out...its happened to me twice...its alot of BS to go through court to MAYBE get some of your money back...if he says you dont love him if you dont...then tell him he dont love you for protecting yourself...wait till your married...if you take that step...then take the rest of the steps and risks that follow...I have been in a relationship now for 5 years and we have a special account for saving...and we have seperate ones as well...its a matter of control when or if you break up...and could get ugly...
2006-10-09 12:35:36 · answer #8 · answered by ca_ruff 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No not a good idea. sounds like you guys need to work on being a couple before getting an account together.
2006-10-09 12:33:13 · answer #9 · answered by lynnn30 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Run for the f***** hills ... your relationship is already crap, he is a control freak ... and your A (very needy) CONTROL FREAK!!! .. you are both probably not mature enough to probably be in a relationship anyway.
This relationship will be lucky to last another 6 months ,,,no matter how much sex u have. If u wanna end it quickly .. move in 2gether ... if your old enough.
Dr Bad
2006-10-09 12:37:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋