How many of you R.S.V.P.?

Question

I saw the following letter in Dear Abby today (October 9, 2006): http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/ titled "MOTHER OF BRIDE TAKES AIM AT GUESTS' FAULTY RESPONSE." It is about how several guests for a wedding did not RSVP, RSVP'd for additional persons not invited, or R.S.V.P'd after the deadline.

For my wedding, almost 1/2 my family did not RSVP. I called them to make sure they were coming, or I basically just counted them as coming whether they had told me they were coming or not. I ended up fine on food b/c I did this.

Do you R.S.V.P.? What is your experience with R.S.V.P.'s (for example, do you have a similar tale to tell)? Thanks for sharing :).

Answer 1

RSVP - always - especially if you plan to attend. If you miss the deadline and still wish to go, call to be sure it's okay. If you don't RSVP at all. Don't go.

In organizing dinners and special functions, I consider no response as a negative response. Even so, I build in 20% error knowing that a few that didn't respond will show up. Of course, if it's exclusive and they are not on the guest list, I get to tell them to go home!

Answer 2

I RSVP because I would like the same courtesy back. Whenever someone asks for an rsvp, they want YOU to tell them if you will be attending or not, they don't want to go through the pain of guessing whether you will or won't show. It doesn't take much to rsvp. It's really "can you go or can you not?"

And I hate when people say "maybe". It's usually because they really don't want to go but can't make up a good reason to lie to you. It's just a form of courtesy and respect for the person hosting the event.

So yes I am very much for rsvp'ing!

Answer 3

I absolutely RSVP, every time. Not just for weddings, but everything social. I spend a lot of time hostessing social get togethers, and I know what a headache it can be when people don't let you know if they're coming or not. You ended up fine at your wedding, which is good, but you shouldn't have had to make phone calls - that's why you send the invitation in the first place.

Answer 4

1. Not only is an R.S.V.P. essential in knowing how much food to be catered, and seats and table arrangements, size of the hall, hotel, etc.,

2. but it is absolutely rude and the epitomy of poor etiquette to show up unaccounted for. It shows total disrespect.

3. Also, dragging one's whole family of children is inconsiderate. If people can't afford a babysitter for the day, then they can't afford to be at your wedding.

4. Those planning the wedding send those R.S.V.P.s, so that they don't have to make all those calls. You will most definately receive it in the mail, respond, mark it to your calendar.

5. Those that show up unaccounted for should be politely welcomed, but told that unfortunately food was not ordered for them, because they did not R.S.V.P., and it would be unfair to the other guests, who did, to deny them their food.

6. If they leave, good. You're rid of people that will make your marriage life hell in the future, any time you plan a social event that requires R.S.V.Ps. They know where they stand with you now.

7. Never abandon your etiquette, it tears down the walls of order, and helps everyone know their place within the scheme of events.

Good Luck and Warm Wishes.

Answer 5

I do RSVP for weddings but that's it. If I forget for other things, I option out of eating or eat before because I know that for weddings you have to know a good head count.

Answer 6

Of course I do - it's only polite. I know what it's like to organize something, and not be sure how many are coming - whether it's a birthday party or a wedding. I'm not sure why people are so impolite in this regard - I think it's a form of arrogance, actually.

Answer 7

I always try to RSVP. It helps me when people do this for me, and it is a common courtasy that is ignored too often.

Answer 8

I always RSVP cuz I expect others to do the same. My niece got married and I asked in advance if my daughter could bring her bf. It was pot luck anyway so we all had to bring our own food contribution.

Answer 9

well you got lucky. but i think RSVPing is out of courtesy. especially with something like a wedding.

but i think it also depends on the type of function, the hostess(or host), and that relationship.

if your sister is having a huge dinner party, then you kinda don't have to, most because she knows you are coming . . .but you shouldn't do that to a friend who is more or less an aquaintance.

RSVP keeps the stress down.

Answer 10

i usually rsvp, but it also depends on what its for