do you know any good blonde jokes??

Question

i only know one good one

what did the blonde say when she looked into a box of cheerios?



ooh look donut seeds!!! lol

Answer 1

hahaha that's a good one! I have one.

A blonde walks into a barber shop wearing headphones. The barber tries to cut her hair, but he can't get around the headphones.
"Ma'am, can you please take off your headphones? MA'AM!" Eventually he just takes them off for her and she drops dead to the floor. Out of curiosity, the man listens to the headphones.
"Breathe in, Breathe out. Breathe in, Breathe out."

Answer 2

I know plenty. I'll give you an example...
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead were driving on a highway when their car died. They each decided to bring an object with them for the walk to a gas station.
About a mile down the road, the blonde and redhead ask the brunette what she brought. She told them that she had brought food in case they got hungry. They all agreed that this was something good.
A mile farther, the brunette and blonde asked the redhead what she had brought. She told them that she had brought water in case they became thirsty in their trip. All three of them were grateful for the intelligence of the redhead.
One mile further, the brunette and redhead asked the blonde what she brought, here is what she said: "I brought the car door in case it got too hot so that we could roll down the window."
That always cracks me up.
I'd look up blonde jokes on google for a good find. For the fun of it, I'll tell you a blonde joke I made up today:

Three blondes tell a congregation of Arkansas men that they want to take over Arkansas. The men decided to ask the blondes three questions. If they answered well, they would be accepted as good leaders, if they did not, the men decided they would crush and kill the blondes.
One man came up to the girls and held out a gun asking, "Can you dree (BTW, he's got an accent) handle de rifle? The blondes huddled together pondering on what 'dree handle de rifle' meant. One of them decided it meant 'de-handle the rifle' and took the rifle and smashed the handle against the ground. "There!" she cried out, "I de-handled the rifle!"
The men reluctantly accepted the feat and sent out another question: "Can you get a buck?"
One of the blondes checks her pocket, pulls out a dollar, and shouts out, "I got a buck right here!"
The men agree that it was an acceptable answer and asked a different version by asking if the girls could get a doe.
The third blonde took her wallet out of her purse and showed the men several bills, exclaiming, "another question on money! I knew that Arkansas didn't have much money!"
And the moral of the story is:
Don't shoot two deer with a gun without a handle.
I hope you liked it.

Answer 3

10 Blondes and 1 Brunette were hanging on to a rope tied to an airplane in flight. They knew if someone didn't jump of fast, the rope would break and they'd all fall and die. The brunette decided to jump, and before she gave up her life, she gave a speech on why she didn't deserve this. Before she could commit suicide, all of the blondes clapped. Problem solved.

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were going to be excuted. Brunette went first, then redhead, then blonde.
DIALOGUE:

Executor: Ready, aim...........
Brunette: TORNADO!!!!!
Executor: *Looks around.* Brunette escapes.
Executor: Crap. Ready, aim...........
Redhead: FLOOD!!!!!!
Executor: *Looks around.* Redhead escapes.
Executor: Crap. Ready, aim...........
Blonde: FIRE!!!!!!!!

A blonde walked into a store, and asked the clerk, "Can I buy that TV?" The clerk scowls and says, "We don't serve blondes." The woman dyed her hair red, came back, and the same thing happened again. The third day, she dyed her hair brown, and when she asked him the same question, she asked how he knew. The man said, "Well, for one thing miss, thats a Microwave.

Answer 4

BLONDE IN THE DARK
I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not allow
me to take leave. I thought that maybe if I acted "CRAZY" then he would
tell me to take a few days off. So I hung upside down on the ceiling and
made funny noises. My coworker (who's blonde)
asked me what I was doing. I told her that I was pretending to be a light
bulb so that the Boss would think I was "CRAZY" and give me a few days off.
A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked "What are you
doing?" I told him I was a light bulb.
He said "You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple
of days". I jumped down and walked out of the office. When my co-worker
(the blonde) followed me, the Boss asked her "...And where do you think
you're going?"

She said "I can't work in the dark!

here's another...

There's a redhead , brunette and a blonde.
Their all at the NASA space center.
The redhead says to the flight technician
"I want to go to the moon".
The flight technician says she can go tomorrow.
The brunette says
"I want to go to Mars".
He says she can go next week.
The blonde says "I want to go to the sun".
The flight technician says,
"Don't you know you'll burn up?"
The blonde says
........"Well then I'll go at night."

one more....

Blonde at the Dr.s
A blonde walks into a doctor's office. She gets in the room with the doctor and says, "Doc, I hurt all over." The doctor is
really confused. He says, "What do you mean, you hurt all over?" The blonde says, "I'll show you."

She then touches herself on her leg. "OW!!! I hurt there." Then she touches her earlobe. "OW!!!!!! I hurt there too!"
Then she touches her hair. "OW!!!!! EVEN MY HAIR HURTS!" So the doctor sits back and thinks on it for 5 min.
Then he says, "Tell me, is blonde your natural hair color?" The blonde says "Yes, why?"

The doctor says, "Well, you got a broken finger..."

Answer 5

A ventriloquist and his dummy were doing a show,he thought he'd warm up the crowd with a few blonde jokes after he had done a couple a blonde stood up and said " I have never felt so insulted,I came here for a good night out and all I hear is rude jokes directed at me based only on the color of my hair!" ... ." Iam very sorry said the man I didn't mean to upset you", she said" I'm not talking to you ,I'm talking to the dummy!!!"

Answer 6

I got one as well. ^_^ A blonde, brunette, and redhead were in a restaurant. The waiter told them there was a magical mirror and that if what you say is true then you get one wish, but if what you say is not true you will disappear.

the brunette walked up to the mirror and said,
"I think I'm the most smartest girl in the world" She disappeared.

The redhead said,
"I think I'm the most prettiest girl in the world" She disappeared.

Finally the blonde came up and said,
"I think..." She disappeared as well.

Wrong, yes. Funny, of course.

Answer 7

whats the first thing a blonde does after haveing sex?


opens the car door!!


hey but then again that sounds like a few girls i know but their not blondes.

Answer 8

What does a turtle and a blonde have in common? Once their on their backs theyre both screwed.

Answer 9

I AM SICK OF BLOND JOKES!!!!!just becuse im blond people just assume im really stupid.hair color does not have anything to do with stupidity!

Answer 10

A blonde comes home from work to find her house is on fire. She runs next door to call the Fire Dept. "Hurry! Hurry" My house is on fire!" she yells. "OK, Maam, settle down. How do we get there?"

"Well, DuH! Big red truck!"