my fiance is getting extremely big and I don't know how to tell her....she gets so upset because obesity runs in her family....i dont know how to help her...help!
2006-10-09 12:07:52 · 17 answers · asked by amanda pr 1 in Health ➔ Diet & Fitness
kangvbc... if i bought her roses.. she would eat those too. add more weight.
2006-10-09 12:17:37 · update #1
Encourage her to exercise with you as a couple.
2006-10-09 12:12:04 · answer #1 · answered by MICKEY M 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I don't agree with people when they say that weight isn't a factor, because it IS! It's a health risk for one, and not attractive for another. It sounds like she is trying to use the excuse that obesity runs in her family as an excuse. If she is exercising and sticking to a semi-healthy diet, then there is something else wrong, maybe a thyroid problem or something else. If she isn't active or eating right, there is NO excuse. Everyone complains they don't have time, but you learn to make time. The rest of my family is not obese by any means, but they could lose some weight, however they choose to not work out and eat right...I on the other hand am the "skinny *****" of the family cause i exercise and for the most part eat right. Tell her you are concerned for her health, diabetes, blood pressure - it can kill her! Make it a point to go for walks together every night when you both get home to talk about the day...and on the weekends in the morning or early evening. Go for a little hike and have lunch together, do activities together - join a gym together. Tell her "i wanna look damn good at the wedding, what do you think about getting a gym membership and being my motivational buddie, we can work out together, it will be fun." a lot of women let themselves go after they get engaged or married...i don't know why, but they do. Good luck...there is NO easy way to tell her. Also, try buying healtheir foods to keep at home, that way you will be less tempted to eat the cookies, chips and such.
2006-10-09 12:16:35 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she's your fiance you should be able to sit her down and talk to her. You're going to spend your life together you better get used to the idea of talking about the more serious matters that will come up. It could be stress, fear or a medical problem that is causing her to gain weight. Reassure her and go to the doctor with her. Tell her your concerned and any other feelings you're having. Support her and love her. Hope everything works out for the two of you. Good luck.
2006-10-09 12:15:41 · answer #3 · answered by mother 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She already knows she is fat! The only way to help her is to leave her a lone! She will simply get larger and larger and larger! No I am not being mean! When it comes to their weight, you can not win!
You simply have to accept it! Or get your self a new Fiance! Learn to love it or leave it! You need plenty of health insurance! You will also need to purchase heavy duty furniture or be prepared to replace it often!
My ex was fat as was her family! So I have been there! Do your self a favor and don't plan on having children. Do your self a favor and get your self fixed! One of the reasons my ex is my ex, is that children's services gave me a choice between her and my children! You can expect her to get to 400 lbs or better! My Ex got to 475lbs that I know of.
I wish you the best, your going to need it!
2006-10-09 12:32:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Come right out and tell her she is too big and getting bigger.
Its not good for her to be that big and frankly its not much fun for you either.
In my very superficial opinion, if a women gets really big after the engagement it was just "false advertising".
Be nice to her about it. But be frank. Tell her you will help her workout and eat right and not constantly nag her.
Give her good sound advice. Activity beats diets handsdown for maintaining a healthy weight.
Good Luck to both of you.
2006-10-09 12:12:47 · answer #5 · answered by WheeeeWhaaaaa 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you love her and you her loose some wait . Do the activity things in a gym with her. Get a personal trainer for a few times.
Join a bike club and ride yoour bike every week.
Buy her roses. If you can't aford to pay a dozen roses for every pound she shreds from her body. Show her the roses in a E card sent from a on line site.
2006-10-09 12:14:21 · answer #6 · answered by Kangvbc 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
What ever you do, don't tell her she's fat, she already knows. You need to get more active and ask her to join you. Stop eating junk food (if you do), if you are more aware of your health, then she will become more aware of what she's doing that's not helping her. If it runs in her family, she may be resigned to the fate she thinks awaits her. Let her see you do more for you and she will get the picture of how in control of her weight she can be. Good luck!
2006-10-09 12:22:12 · answer #7 · answered by Slam64 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
why don't u start exercising more, and have her come with you? go for walks, "romantic" walks, or hikes.... on the weekends... go to the beach, run in the sand... try to eat healthier, make some salads and chicken..... ask her to go on a diet together so u can Both be healthy, and look fit for the wedding? good luck.. what a sensitive subject =T
2006-10-09 12:10:20 · answer #8 · answered by sasmallworld 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you still want to marry her? Is it a problem for you? Then for God's sake, and hers, tell her before you say "I do." This may not be solvable, if you have a "thing" about overweight.
Better not to be miserable for both of your lives, and if you really are unable to accept it, then better find yourself someone who you can respect.
Don't count on being able to change her after you're married. You can really only change yourself.
2006-10-09 12:15:57 · answer #9 · answered by Hal H 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Good news and bad news:
Good - you are getting married - good news, right?
Bad:
-You can't tell her anything except how much you love her - anything else will hurt her.
- She won't change until she wants to, NOTHING you do will cause her to change.
- You can't help her nor do you want to. If you solve her problems (women need problems) then YOU become the problem. Do you want to be the problem?
Leave her if you can't deal with her physically. I'm dead serious.
FP
2006-10-09 12:12:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, you eat healthier & she will have to. Take the junk food & toss it. Do it WITH her. So it doesn't seem like you're implying she has an isolated problem, involve yourself.
2006-10-09 12:12:04 · answer #11 · answered by Joan McBitch 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋