Since childhood a girl opposite my house have been freinds and the freindship is no fooling around or casual; it's serious and at a very deep level, her mother did not have any objections of me being her freind until some months ago. Now she tries to keep me away as if i were to eat her daughter or mess up her life, she monitors her daughters calls to me She does not let her come to my place or go with me to movies or an evening walk. I don't understand what is the problem do all moter's who have daughter's get cranky like this ? We have been freinds for almost 23 years and now she is trying to do everything o keep her away from me. Her daughter loves me more than her life we do not fool around neither are we physically involved; can some one tell me to strighten out this problem. She is the only freind i have i don't want to lose her.
2006-10-09 11:50:34 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Everybody is happy with our relationship; but i think her mother does not trust me. I wanna do something that could solve this problem. It's not that i'm financially broke, i have lots of money to support her neither i'm characterless. Two days ago she fought with her mom and packed her bags and came to my place, i want her mother to know that i'm the same boy she knew once and that her daughter is in safe hands, i want to do something which might increase her mothers trust in me.
2006-10-09 12:02:03 · update #1
NOW A LONG TIME HAS BEEN PASSED MAY BE SHE WANT TO MARRY HER NOW BETTER NOW YOU GIVE THIS PROPOSAL.
2006-10-09 15:31:40 · answer #1 · answered by RAMAN IOBIAN 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a mother... but I want to answer this anyhow.
If you've been friends for 23 years then you are both adults and your friend should be able to make her own decisions. She may be just using her mother as an excuse. But if she really does want to see you and she is just respecting her mother's wishes, then you need to speak with her mother. Either in person or in writing. DO NOT be confrontational! Just tell the mother how much you care for her daughter and how much you miss her, etc. Ask her if there is something specific that changed her mind toward you. Ask her if there is a way you can redeem yourself in her eyes.
If the mother does not want to discuss this with you there is nothing you can do. Accept it and move on. I know it is painful, but persisting the matter could get to be a sticky situation.
Good luck.
2006-10-09 11:58:45 · answer #2 · answered by Yinzer from Sixburgh 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you've been friends for 23 years, then you are both adults. What does it matter how her mother feels about you. I am a mother of a fifteen year old boy. I would think that by the time he's 23 or older, there isn't much I can do about his relationships. Even if I don't like a particular friend of his, he has to be able to make his own decisions once he's an adult.
2006-10-09 11:55:05 · answer #3 · answered by Marianne K 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is very difficult only because I am assuming that both you & her are over the age of 21 but she and/or you still lives with both parents. If that is the case then there is nothing you can do about how her moms feels, she will have to handle that situation. But good luck on doing that because it seems like the mom is a head trip wanting & needing to control her daughters life. But then again, maybe she feels like she has to. Who knows - my advice is let your friend handle her own Mom and if she doesn't then only she can tell you why.
2006-10-09 11:56:41 · answer #4 · answered by FeeLnUFeeLnMe 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
are you in love with this girl? are you serious about her? why should her mother trust you? why shouldnt she think that you could just be messing with her daughter's life? if her daughter loves you more than her life, considering the fact tht u havent shown or mentioned in exact terms whether u love her or have any intentions of marrying her, she has reasons more than one to be protective about her daughter...
i would have a problem with my daughter getting over involved with a guy who has no long term plans with her... she doesnt want her to get hurt...
you want to earn her trust, talk to her, show some restraint but what is it that u want? u wanna be this girl's friend or boyfriend, whatever u r, forever? do u want to spend ur life with her or something?
u gotta know that first...
2006-10-09 21:50:34 · answer #5 · answered by priyanka g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Her mother must feel like you are going to get her daughter in some sh*t, maybe your friend used you in a lie and her mom never new or maybe she feels that she can see some thing that her kid can't see.If you really care about your friend go and talk to the mother bring flowers and let her know how important your friendship is with your girl listen to every thing and don't talk back if she is disrespectful then tell her thank you for her time and tell her because you care about your friend you will not disrespect her mother...but coming from me you must have done something wrong and if your friend really cares about the sitituation she needs to talk to her mom and let her know that even though she mommy's baby she needs to respect her dissions and mind her own dam bisseness!
2006-10-09 12:03:29 · answer #6 · answered by cody 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
.if u r from India , it is natural here. all mothers who have unmarried daughters are like this. they r over protective towards their daughters . it is not their fault. it is the society, & our culture & tradition. don't u think our culture is great ? we value the morality & sanctity. we should be really proud of ourselves. now regarding your problem, if your parents & her people ( ofcourse except her mother ) accept your relationship why don't u go ahead & get engaged. ?her father & brother ( if she has ) can help u out. your mother could convince her mother. once u are engaged har mother will not behave like this. pl don't blame her. it is the love of her daughter which is making her do this. be patient with her. ask your friend not to take hasty decision of leaving her house. that will make the things worse. u must build up confidence in her mother. remember in india we still have family, we still obey & respect our elders . they still care for us. they still help us out when we need them.it is our tradition & culture which is so beautiful. so, pl have petience. definitely she will understand u .her love for her daughter will make her accept u as her son in law.. all the best.
2006-10-09 14:23:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-12-26 14:25:45 · answer #8 · answered by ludwig 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe her mom is too protective of her and doesn't want her child to end up sleeping around with guys or even turn out to be lesbian. 23 years is a very long time, it should be enough for the mother to gain your trust. I think her mother have issue with past experiences as a child and trying to prevent her child from having the same issue as she does. Write to Dr. Phil and have him straighten this issue out. Seems really interesting to know what's going on with her mom!^_^
2006-10-09 11:56:00 · answer #9 · answered by strawberry_kiss_gurlie 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
How old are you two? Friends for 23 years ?Okay, so you are both adults? Then why is this girl allowing her mother to dictate her life? Sounds like you may have a mama's girl, and if she allows her mother to dictate her life, you aren't going to have a chance with this girl.
2006-10-09 12:06:21 · answer #10 · answered by angeleyes 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You're both at least 23 and living at home. Now, what could be the problem with that?
2006-10-09 11:54:42 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋