After flirting with a girl and getting to know each other you tell her she is pretty, accomplished, stays in shape, has a nice family and could have any guy she wants. She says she is not looking for a guy because she just got out of a relationship & needs time alone.
She then calls back and says even though what she said is true, she is attracted you and you are the proverbial tall, dark and handsome man.
2 weeks later, she calls to ask if you are seeing someone special. You say no so she says she would like to call you once in a while on a personal level, not about work.
A week later she calls you and you call back. You talk for an hour but not about a relationship.
A week after that she calls and asks you to go on work travel to help with her project. You find a way to get the travel approved.
She has now called you 3 times and you seem to have good conversation but you never initiate contact.
Are you being polite? Would you want her to stop calling?
2006-10-09 11:39:43 · 17 answers · asked by coolstreem 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
When she asks if she can call on a personal level, you say yes, give me a shout!
2006-10-09 11:41:52 · update #1
The first thing all girls should know is guys aren't very good at taking hints and tend to go mostly by what they actually hear you say. In this case they guy heard you say your not interested in finding a guy right now. He is waiting for you to actually say to him that you've changed your mind and are interested in a possible relationship with him. Until he hears those words he probably won't initiate contact because he thinks he is respecting what you first told him and he is too unsure of what you want beyond just a friend to make any move unless you initiate it.
2006-10-09 11:47:41 · answer #1 · answered by rkrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most guys have learned not to date in the work place by the 30 rolls around. This is a good rule to keep. After you said she needs time alone the first move is yours. You gotta put yorself out there at this point the telephone calls arn't giving him the hint.
2006-10-09 18:47:10 · answer #2 · answered by brooklyn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a 30-year-old man, but I can tell you this...since this guy never initiates contact, especially since you expressed interest by tellin him you wanna get to know him on a personal level and actually calling him several times, and he's single..then, he's just being polite. Your gut instinct, which is there for a reason, is telling you he's being polite. Trust me, if the guy liked you, YOU would definitely know.
2006-10-09 18:44:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am way over thirty. My best guess is that he is being polite. Not shy, not waiting for you to be more aggressive, not unsure how to react and not burnt.
He doesn't want to hurt your feelings or upset you since he apparently does have some contact with you. And he doesn't want to pursue your friendship further.
Don't let it bother you. It seems to be his problem.
If I were available and a girl who is "pretty, accomplished, stays in shape, has a nice family and could have any guy she wants" approached me, I would most definitely follow up.
2006-10-09 19:34:02 · answer #4 · answered by deepndswamps 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The more you think, the more you doubt. The more you doubt, the more you think. Snap out of it. You're not only confusing yourself, you're confusing the hell out of him as well.
Don't make it about what he thinks or wants. That is h i s problem. Your problem is what y o u want, and you don't seem to have that very clear. He's probably just giving you space to make up your own mind.
I think something in you wants him to sway you off your feet, but then something else inside you is afraid to lose control and puts on the brakes.
Take a risk, shut up and follow your heart. Trust yourself that you will be able to handle whatever ensues.
2006-10-09 18:58:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
File 13
2006-10-09 18:43:13 · answer #6 · answered by shambo 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
What? Huh?
He's just being polite or he has a girlriend (or wife) that he is faithful to. If he really wants you, he'll initiate contact. If he really wants you to stop calling, he won't answer the phone and talk with you for an hour.
2006-10-09 18:45:56 · answer #7 · answered by Leroy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a) He's been burned.
b) He's naturally hesitant around women.
c) He enjoys the game. It's costing him nothing.
d) He is self-sufficient. Open to contact, but needing nothing.
You get what you get. You've described him and if you are satisfied, great. If you want more, then this is what you will have on the couch in the LR.
2006-10-09 18:45:24 · answer #8 · answered by Joe Cool 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not if I was interested to see where it/we would go. Otherwise the conversations seem to be pointless without building some kind of relationship. I mean, even a friendship is a relationship.
2006-10-09 18:46:19 · answer #9 · answered by runninfool 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am being polite and not sure how to approach her, I am super cautious and have been in the exact situation you have described.. she should take the lead and let him know she wants to see him on a different level and ask him out
2006-10-09 18:47:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋