How can God help me?

Question

I'm 26 and in July our full term baby died at birth. I was fine for awhile but I guess that everything is just now hitting me and I am so desperate for help. I totally feel like God hates me. When I am having a decent day and everything seems to be going well, something TERRIBLE always happens. I'm tired of crying. I think that I am driving my fiance crazy and he just doesn't know what to do or say to make me feel better and he is just so frustrated. I want to get better and I want to feel love again and I just feel like I need God but it just seems like he hates me right now and I have so much anger inside of me that I feel like I'm going to explode. I really need help! My fiance travels a lot for work so being alone often definitely doesn't help!

Answer 1

Im sorry to hear that. Tell god how you feel! Get angry with him, im probably going to get told that im saying the wrong thing, but i think that we should all shout at god sometimes tell him how you really feel tell him whats bothing you. Shouting at god is something that really helps, i know ive been there and done that. it takes a lot of pressure of off you. and god wont be mad at you, no way! he will be really proud that you can sort your problems out and come face to face with him. God will help you out! He really will. He's always been watching over you and always will, and ifg you get angry with him its not the end its just one step closer to him. He can help you, Just goto trust him, he'll tell you what to do :)

Answer 2

When I saw your question (and not the details), my immediate response was going to be it isn't about how God helps you, it is about you to God.

But I see it is much more involved than that.

I don't think that there is any emotional pain in the world that compares to loosing a child. It is something all mothers fear and are haunted with, whether they experience it firsthand or not. And while the entire thing is impossible to understand, remember that God does love you - and knows exactly how you feel. I would recommend reviewing the words that practically every human has been exposed to. "For God so loved the world that he gave his only son to die for us and that whoever might believe in him will have eternal life" (paraphrased)

As odd and tough as life gets, I try to remember one recent sermon where the pastor demonstrated (using apples) how much of the world belongs to God. We were asked to say 'stop' when he was placing the apples in a basket when we had given all that belongs to God. No one said a word.

It is very hard for us to break our assumption that everything in the world belongs to us because that is the way we talk and live life. Everything is 'have it my way', my car, my house, my country, my children, mine...... when in fact, it all belongs to God. I do, you do, non-believers do, Saturn does, and your baby does too.

But we are not insignificant pawns - remember that God created us different for the rest of the animals, someone that he created to love him back (by choice). There is no greater thing.

And your love, and mourn for the loss, is what is causing you so much stress right now. Don't be afraid to put your sorrow on God (and Christ) because he is there for you. And in the meantime, if you want a human friend to help please contact me. I'd be more than happy to listen.

Words might not be the comfort you are looking for, but we are all trying our best. :) Good luck dear.

Answer 3

Sister, consider your beliefs again. Do you think that God will help you if you associate partners with Him. May be He is trying to remind you to strive in his way, search for the truth rather than blindly following a belief. Don't follow a set of beliefs for the sake of it. Strive, do an effort, read, atleast you would have an excuse on the day of judgement. But if you dont read about other religions, you can't be sure about the truth.

Ask sincerely "O God! If you are out there than guide me".

Have the correct intention followed by the right amount of effort. God will help you. He helps his creation, he loves them more than seventy mothers.

I am a muslim and I think that associating partners with God is the biggest sin. God is incomparable to the creation.

Worship the Creator, not the creation.

Answer 4

My prayers are with you. Fifteen years ago I lost a child at term as well. It was one of the hardest things I have ever gone through. I was so angry at God and no longer cared whether I lived or died. Give it time, you will never forget but you will get past it. I have two wonderful sons and although I may never understand this side of Heaven I have accepted that He knows better than I and I will see my daughter again in Heaven. One does not get over it but you can get past it. I am praying for you and will do so daily.
God bless and keep you,
Debra

Answer 5

I'm sorry for your loss,truely,its something you'll never really get over and understand.My wife and I couldnt have children,and for a long time she felt the same wayI believe God doesn't do anything unless he has a good reason and I'm sure youv'e gone over everyone,I would take the advice these other kind people have given you and get help/support,and in doing this,hopefully you'll find peace and be able to help along with another who has gone through this and realize God isnt mad at you,there was just another purpose for you and your child to be orchestrated into fullfilling for whatever plan He's laid out,my deepest concern and sympathy.

Answer 6

God doesn't hate anyone, not even the worst of humans is hated by God. What you are going through is grief and recrimination, you didn't do anything wrong, your baby died through no fault of your own. Now every time something goes wrong, you think it's God punishing you which is a myth, we punish ourselves. Your giving Satan all the ammunition he needs to make your life miserable and keep you thinking that God hates you. Talk to Him out loud, scream, shout, yell at Him, He already knows you are angry, then ask Him for help, peace, wisdom. You baby is with Him in heaven.

Answer 7

I can assure you God does not hate you. Paul the author of much of the New Testiment, persecuted and had killed many in the infant chuch and God did not hate him, so your wrong whatever it might have been is small potatos.

You need to see a grief couselor. If you can not afford one then go to a big church and ask about their counseling program usually they are free. Be certain to try and find one who is a specialist in this area or one with experience in the grief area. I'd help but I am only liciensed in 2 states.

Answer 8

wow my love to you sweetheart
this must be so hard for you
and you are grieving right now and anything you are experiencing is not wrong .. you just have to do what your body and emotions are telling you to do .. and if that is to cry then cry
now no one can tell you how to find God in this and no one should ... that is for you in your own time and only if you need that
what i can offer is my own personal thoughts at moments like this

i do believe in God although i am not a christian
and i always feel that if there were no God , then this life is all we have and death is the end
but with my belief in God i find comfort in knowing that those we love are held in safe hands , until that day when we can be together again
and your baby is held in safe hands in my opinion

please seek help though through this time with your grief and depression , dont be afraid to let people help you
but most of all ... dont feel you have to be any specific way for others
this is your time ... you have to do what you have to do
all my love to you xxx

Answer 9

God is there for you whenever you need him and want him, when bad things happen he seems distant and faraway, but he is there call on his son Jesu and he will come to your aid and help all you need to do is ask and Pray he doesn't hate you. He loves you he suffered the loss of his Son on the Cross and had to reserect him death can come at any age. call on him and let him turn your morning into joy, as sometimes something goes wrong with the baby that noone knows how to detect. My condolences on your loss. Please don't let it turn you away from the Love of God and try again when ready your next pregnancny will go ok.

Answer 10

God does indeed care about you my friend. Often things happen that we cannot understand right now and if it is any comfort, your precious baby is with the LORD right now.

I do trust you named your baby and had a memorial service as this will help give closure. We also have a memorial page on our web site in which we can include your baby if you so chose.

If you just need to talk, I am here.