My 12 year old son will not stop stealing. I have already taken him to juvy to scare him and it isnt working HELP!
2006-10-09 11:16:15 · 34 answers · asked by jenmur 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Sounds like he will make a fine congressman
2006-10-09 11:18:45 · answer #1 · answered by tacoma_fast_ball 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
About 3 years ago my then 8 year old nephew stole 100 dollars from his mother. When I found out I drove my bum over to his house and took him down to the police dept. I told the officer that he had stolen the money and that he needed someone to explain to him why he shouldn't steal. It worked! He hasn't stolen since. The juvy didn't work because he sees kids like him there. It's just more fuel for him. Take him to where there are strong male figures only and they will definately make an impression on him. It's NOT too late for him. Keep trying. He has a lot of hope because he actually has a mother who is not ignoring the problem. You are trying to solve it.
2006-10-09 11:24:37 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ground him. He can't go out, he can't steal. Hide all your stuff. Take away everything he likes. TV, video games, bike, everything. Let him earn it back. When he goes a day without stealing and lying, give him back his stuff and pretend it never happened. If he does it again, take away all his stuff. Give him a book or chores. Set the amount of time he will go without things and stick with it. If he sneaks out, call the cops. Explain to them what is going on and they will usually cooperate. Tell your son if this happens again, you will put him in foster care. If he can't listen to you, you will have to find someone he will listen to because it is your job to make sure he is safe and grows up to be a responsible adult. Taking him to Juvy was a good idea but he really needs to be able to rely on you to be his leader, his parent, his structure.
Good luck, get help where ever you can.
2006-10-09 11:42:17 · answer #3 · answered by mati 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He goes to school and comes home. Anywhere you go...he goes. He has to be watched all the time now. He has lost priviledges...just like jail. Only, he's a babe, and needs to learn new habits. Ones that reward him for good behavior. He's getting attention for bad behavior so it's a learned habit.
Threatening and scaring doesnt solve. Pretend he's two and has to learn what doesnt belong to him, he cant have, covet and lying is neither rewarded with you looking the other way. Both have to be dealt with immediately, within seconds! Example: Did you brush your teeth?
he says um yes. You check his teeth..if they dont look good enough brushed tell him youll show him how to do it once again. Start with the little things around the house. If you want your child to break his bad habits, youre going to have to be involved until your absolutely sure he is reformed from them. It may take years.
Going thru puberty now at 12, he'll be emotional and silly. Just stay calm and explain everything to him, help him relearn everything.
Dont lose your baby, dont let your baby get lost.
Good luck. Peace.
2006-10-09 11:32:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am Myself 13 and i do not know if this will be very effective but i sudjest that you show there can be consequences. Not that you put down cause that will make them madder and more Rebelious show that other people can show him the consequences. i have no clue how you would do that but let me tell you grounden and takein things away will not work you can not effect this OTHER people do.. or you can have one of his favorite things get "stolen" And that would show him how hurtful it could be. For the Liein Just start Lieing to him on a regular bases and if he tells you to not lie to him say well you do it to me and other people why can't i do it to you or somthing like that but don't make it obvious that you are lying i hope that my opinion as a kid around your sons age will help
Lots of Love
OH yes a YOU taking him to Juvy Never Gonna Work you have to have another Person Do that Cause he Did somthing Wrong!!!
2006-10-09 11:27:21 · answer #5 · answered by Nanabooboo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You take him to the place(s) he stole from, pay for the item(s) and give them back to the store (to give to good kids that don't have the means to buy them). Tell the store owner in front of your son what happened and tell your son right there he is NOT allowed to go into that store ever again.
Shame him like that a few times, and he'll get the message.
I'd bet he is entering puberty right now, that will do it every time. It's the flood of testosterone they are unable to manage.
My guess, his father is not around. It is an established fact that boys only brought up by their mother have a much higher level of criminality than boys with their father or both parents.
2006-10-09 11:30:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Start taking away his freedom at home, one step at a time. Then take his stuff away and see how he responds. Ask him how it made him feel. But you're going to have to be consistent and stay on him. Micromanage his life until he gets it.
If all else fails: Report him to the police. Let him spend a night in jail. It worked for my father-in-law when he was a kid. He shaped up and is now a leading international economist!
2006-10-10 08:12:29 · answer #7 · answered by itsnotarealname 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its never too late. Give him a couple good slaps and maybe even scare him with a belt. Don't be afraid. I promise it will sort him aou. You have to be stern. Its for his benefit in the future and he'll love you for setting him straight like i love my mom for giving me the belt whenever i was naughty. Its gonna prevent him from ending up in Brixton prison in the future. Take him on a tour of the prison and show him what its like. Tell him that's where he'll end up if he doesn't stop!
2006-10-09 11:26:42 · answer #8 · answered by Jamaican Princess 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It never to late.There is still hope for your son.Don't give up on your son,your parent didnot give up on you.Fight for your son future. It just going to take a lot of work and most of all prayer.Have you ever thought of him having a mentor.Please check out the person who will mentor your son.This made help.Something else made be going on with him and he made feel like he can't talk to you,so he act out.You made have to do tough love.
2006-10-09 12:22:22 · answer #9 · answered by 40something 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
MY SON WILL BE 17 THIS MONTH. HE HAS FINALLY CALMED DOWN. HE USE TO STEAL EVERYTHING IN SIGHT UNTIL I FINALLY HAD HIM PUT INTO PLACEMENT FOR TWO YEARS. HE STARTED STEALING WHEN HE WAS 11. I DID THE JUVY THING. I DID THE CAMP THING. I DID THE BOOT CAMP THING. THE ONLY THING WORKED IS GETTING HIM AWAY FROM HOME FOR A WHILE TO LET HIM SEE HOW IMPORTANT IT IS TO BE AT HOME WITH HIS FAMILY.
2006-10-09 11:21:27 · answer #10 · answered by PRECIANA 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I told my kids early on that if they lied to me I would not help them because you can't believe a liar. Secondly, do NOT bail him out of trouble. Make him be responsible for his action. It's not going to hurt him to go to juvy or jail. Let him not like it - ALOT. Let him figure out what to do - don't solve his problems or make them your own. Some kids think parents owe them everything...it's a glitch in social upbringing or society. Use tough love - be stern - set limits!!
2006-10-09 11:29:55 · answer #11 · answered by intrigue899 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋