I have banned my husband......?

Question

I have banned my husband from watching "honey we're killing the kids"- after this programme he always starts preaching to me how i'm soft with the children - how they don't listern to what they are being told and how they just eat cr*p- I try to explain I get no back up from him and hes quite welcome to do the shopping and cooking- does anybody elses husband suddenly turn into a parenting guru after this show!!- He is allowed to watch it if he promises not to open his mouth!!

Answer 1

For those of you who didn't see it - this is her question "Does anybody elses husband suddenly turn into a parenting guru after this show?"

Here's my answer: Yes! My husband will watch all sorts of shows and think I'm doing everything wrong. He'll say I'm not cooking enough or feeding our daughter enough healthy foods. I went and bought all healthy foods and then he cried that he didn't like the whole wheat, whole grain tortillas and cereals and that I spent too much money (which I didn't). My husband doesn't realize at all what I do all day. Whenever he says that I don't do enough around the house, I ask him if he's ever had to clean his toilet or shower and he then answers no and shuts up. He's only changed about 30 diapers in his lifetime (our daughter is 21 months old). I know what you're saying. Take it from me, husbands just don't understand! Ha ha!

Answer 2

Hi, you are right that if your husband wants your children to eat properly he should have an active role. But, you cannot decline responsibility just because your husband does not do the shopping or cook the meals.

You do not say whether or not you or your husband work, but if you are a housewife,l for want of a better phrase, then yes you do have responsibility for your children's diet. If you do work aswell then this does not mean that you should just give in to your children's demands.

Before you say it, yes I do have children of my own. I hav e 4 year old daughter and a 5 year old son who is Autistic, and is a very fussy eater as a result. My children do not nag for crisps or anything else as they have not been brought up to expect these things, they have always thought of them as a treat.

I am not saying that you are a bad parent as I do not know what your children eat, or anythimg else about you for that matter. The odd packet of crisps or bag of sweets does not do anyone any harm. But, if your husband does have a reason to be worried about your childrens diet then you can not complain simlpy because your husband does nothing to help you. Even if my husband did not help with the shopping and cooking I would still ensure that my children did not eat a diet that was high in fat, sugars and salt. This would still be my responsibility as a parent.

If you are unhappy with your husband's input the you should make time to speak to him about this, instead of simply retalitaing whwn he complains. Yes, parenting can be hard but we all have responsibilities no matter what the situation.

I do not mean to be condascending. Your post did not actualloy state you wanted to know, so I just gave you my thoughts.I hope that I have been able to help you in some way.

Answer 3

Both my wife and I watch the show sometimes, and then we feel guilty. However, its very time consuming to live what they preach. There are "realistic" ways of living especially since we all have to work, clean, cook, shop, etc... The big joke is the computer simulation of how the kids will look years from now following certain eating patterns. Its cartoonish, and there is no way to predict certain aspects to the equation such as genetics, what activities the children will participate in the next 20 years, etc... If your husband wants a plan, he needs to help draw it up, and then physically help in its execution!

Answer 4

I suggest that the two of you take parenting classes, together. Then, you can both learn how to come up with an agreeable format for raising your children, how to work together and how to bring a little harmony into the family. Don't make this about you and your husband, because this is about your children and it sounds as if both of you have lost sight of the most important part of it all. This should not be a power struggle, it should be the sharing of responsibility.

Answer 5

Alright, I completely know what you're talking about. I've never seen that show, but me and my husband watched Supernanny one night and all of the sudden, I was the worst, softest mom in the world. I needed to start a little discipline and reward system, I needed to start cooking three square meals a day, no take out, no snacks, nothing. I told him if he thought it was so easy let him stay home from work for just one day and try to do it, it's alot harder than it looks. Of course he didn't for fear of failure, but that show definitely made my husband like "father of the year" I guess it's easy to play that role when you're only home three hours a night.

Answer 6

We tend to get a lot of programes like this these days:

how to clean your house.
how to be a perfect housewife..etc..etc.
#What is most inportant is you do what is good for you as a family.:

plenty of fresh air..eat fruit and veg..and yes have a fatty meal once a week.

i have two children..i have 20p in a bag..when they are naughty i take2p..this money goes to the sweet shop on saturdays.Limit T.V TIME..and just use common sense.One does not need these programes to tell us anthing..your husband should watch something else and respect the great job you do already,back you up and have the sunday walk like we do living on Dartmoor!!

Answer 7

An interesting insight into your clearly 'blissful' marriage....!

At the end of the day....I guess he is living in a male stereotypical World.....and seems happy to moan....but doing something about it is clearly another story.

I know getting kids to eat healthily is hard....but I am sure you must carry some of his concerns if he does indeed have a point....? Maybe you can both talk and devise a joint strategy for improving the situation....

Answer 8

I know its hard, especially if there is a grain of truth in what is being said. You are quite right though in saying put up or shut up! If things are to change, they have to change for the entire family and may very well mean your husband does his fair lick of the shopping, cooking and cleaning.

I know I have to and its only fair that I do.

Answer 9

Haha, I like to see you wear the pants in your relationships. Honestly, if he sees a problem, why can't he take care of it? He's a funtioning adult. I see no problem unless your children are the obnoxious kind one usually encounters at the grocery store screaming at the top of their lungs and unceassinly teasing you to buy them something. If that is the case, whip those kids into shape because they set off my migraines. If they are well behaved, then keep on doing what you're doing sistah :)

Answer 10

While I understand that you are frustrated, he has a point. The two of you should present a united front on healthy eating and activities in your household as well as set an example. You need to be harder on yourselves than your children in fact.

That show sparks some controversy in our families, but you can't deny that children are overweight and never exercise and you can't deny that your own habits don't rub off on your children.

edit: I feel bad for husbands who feel they couldn't communicate their fears and concerns about their children to their wives. What kind of a partnership is it where you don't work together for a brighter future for your family?