ok my boyfriend is very quite......i want him to be more loud or maybe more talkable,I try to make him more interesting but he just seems not to get it,i still want to be with him and have good things together.......what would you do if you where in his kind of problem?
2006-10-09 10:38:36 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Stop trying to fix something that's not broken sweetheart. Some people actually like to listen. As you get older, you'll find out that it's hard to learn important facts with your mouth flapping all the time. If he didn't ask you to help him change, then I'm sure that he's content...
2006-10-09 10:40:25 · answer #1 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been in this situation a few times. Some people, unfortunately do not come out of their shell.
If you feel that this characteristic will affect your relationship long term, then I would consider calling it quits.
If you really like him, and want to die trying, here are few tips.
1. Don't put him on the spot.
Say you and your friends are out somewhere, don't casually drop conversation and cue him to pick up where you left off. Chances are he will just get embarrassed and resent you later.
Instead, try mentioning some things that your boyfriend is interested in, and step back... letting him get interested in the conversation. Chances are, if he is passionate about the subject,
he will open his mouth.
2. Don't leave him alone.
If you go out with a group of friends, don't leave him to fend for himself. Your friends may try too hard to open him up and end up flustering him. If you are there to "coach" him, you can speak up for him when he doesn't have an answer to a question. Its an excellent ego safeguard, and will protect him from discouragement and embarrassment.
3. Let him see you having fun with people.
If he sees that you are having so much fun being social without him, he may try a little harder to be friendly. He may want to impress you in that respect, and want to experience all the things that you do to make you happy.
If you ultimately cannot get him to change, he probably wont budge any time soon, and is doomed to silence. If you like the strong silent type, accept his quiet ways and love him anyway.
If not, its time to move on.
2006-10-09 17:48:14 · answer #2 · answered by Elkie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seriously, if I were in the same situation I would try to do the same thing... gosh, I love it when guys are outgoing. But I don't think you can change him that easily. Shy people tend to stay shy. It is just the way he is. Talk to him, and ask him why he is shy, chances are he will say it is just the way he is. You shouldn't really try to change him, but if you really want him to be more like you... try taking him places that he can feel relaxed and able to be more exciting. Don't take him straight to a rock concert, he might feel out of place... maybe a quiet resteraunt with a few friends that he feels comfortable with.
2006-10-09 17:43:10 · answer #3 · answered by Yvee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1st ask yourself if it's your problem or your boyfriend's?
Sounds like you may have a problem with him being so quiet and that he maybe just fine with the way he is. Talk to your boyfriend and let him know you would like to communicate more but his quietness must be a part of his personality or what makes him HIM and part of the reason of what attracted you to him. Just let him know you would like to talk more in your relationship and take it one step at time especially since it could be something he is not used to in relationships. Good luck!
2006-10-09 17:43:30 · answer #4 · answered by peachtreecity404 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's wrong to change him, but OK to make adjustments. There are strategies to get him into conversations where he feels comfortable. But I'm talking minor modifications. Mr. Boring will not turn into the life of the party, unless you slip him some acid, which is good for one night, but not long term.
2006-10-09 17:43:03 · answer #5 · answered by Big Momma Carnivore 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't force someone to be the way you want them to be. You have to accept someone for who they are. Love is seeing the things you don't like about someone and still wanting to be with them anyway. If you try and make him into someone he isn't, you might find that he doesn't want to change and in fact, resents you for trying. Many couples have ruined relationships by trying to change their spouse.
2006-10-09 17:44:38 · answer #6 · answered by QuestionWyrm 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
learn to love the difference or leave. People don't often change and trying to mould them is a bad idea. opposites can complement each other but only if both people respect the others character.
2006-10-09 17:42:08 · answer #7 · answered by questioneer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe try this find certain things you like to do together. Or try to find stuff that makes your man feel more comfortable and maybe this will bring him out of his shell.
2006-10-09 17:42:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have a talk with him and ask him if there is a reason why he is quiet. Maybe he just needs a little reassurance to come out of his shell.
2006-10-09 17:40:29 · answer #9 · answered by Michelle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where's the problem?
He's a quiet person, an introvert. You can't change that. You already like him for all of his other qualities. Accept his quiet side, too. If you try to change him you'll lose him. Accept him for who he is.
2006-10-09 17:41:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋