I have been married to this man for 25yrs this last June. I knew for about the past 2 yrs something was going on but had no proof. This last July I started snooping in his email, message archives, everywhere I could think of. I found that he was meeting with someone for sure and confronted him on that but still had no name of the person. Kept digging and just about a week ago through my own detective work I found out for sure who he has had an affair with for over 2 years. I walked into the store she manages and asked her if "she had been F&#@ing anybodies husband lately"? She wouldn't admit it but my husband did. He is just as much to blame I know. I am sooo angry with both of them. But I really want her to hurt because she had been involved with everyone in my family for those years and acted as if it was nothing. My children are grown and my husband wants to act as if it never happened. He has no idea how much anger I still have inside me. What Now?
2006-10-09 09:44:30 · 10 answers · asked by Judy D 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
kick him in the balls
2006-10-09 09:46:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I was married for 22yrs she was my high school sweetheart. The questions you need answered are many. Here are some, do you love him? does he love you? What may have happened that sent him there? do you want this marriage to work? can you forgive and not needle him about it if you stay together? will you ever trust him again? did he need something from you that you didn't see he needed? do think he is really sorry? are both trying to keep your marriage exciting and finding new things to do together? are you ready to start a new life with out him? Love alone doesn't keep a marriage together. There are many other questions to ask yourself and him. I found that every road leads to two places. The beginning and the end. What happens in the middle of that road is the hardest part of life. Don't cheat on him or give him physical pain to get even. Ask yourself these and more questions and do whats right for you and you future . If you stay you that means that you have accepted what he did. Is it worth staying? If you end this marriage be strong enough to follow it through and prepare yourself to start life over. It is not the end to start over. Remember only you can make up your mind . All of us out here are just suggestions, pick parts from each to help you out . Good luck with the situation.
2006-10-09 10:11:54 · answer #2 · answered by bike guy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been married for 34 years now. Fortunately my husband has never cheated on me.
If it were me, I think as well as being angry I would be deeply hurt and I would have every right to question him as to why he would do such a thing after 25 years.
But before I did that, I would have to ask myself some questions as to why he would do it, such as, are you two still in love with each other? Is your sex life as good as it could be? Do you communicate with one another, Do you spend quality time together? Are you sensitive to one an others needs? These are just a few things I would have to ask myself first. If you are being very honest with yourself and there are some areas that your relationship is weak in then I would go to him and tell him that you need to talk but, when you do, don't go to him in anger because you will get no where with him.
If you were able to go to him and talk in a civil manner and he answered you questions, then it is time to ask yourself if the marriage is worth saving, listen to your heart and a down on your knees prayer surely wouldn't hurt either.
You two have invested 25 years of your life in this marriage and you don't want to give up with out a fight.
As far as hurting her, what will you gain from it in the end? She knows you know, and she knows you are angry Don't waste your time on her she isn't worth it, spend your time on trying to save your marriage.
I hope this helps a little.
2006-10-09 11:13:10 · answer #3 · answered by yakity_one 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry to hear about this...I too went through the same thing. I have been married for 25 1/2 years and we decided to stay together and work it out. You and him will have to make this decision based on trust and commitment. My advice is to not make any decisions based on feelings (anger, sadness, fear, etc.) Stop and take a deep breath and know that tomorrow brings a new day. Do you guys attend church? Do you have access to good affordable counseling? Whether or not you two stay married, please talk to someone. It will help in the healing process. Time will be the ultimate healer. Again, I am sorry to hear about this, I would wish this pain on no one.
2006-10-09 10:27:37 · answer #4 · answered by kymmy_kins 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know from experiance you want to hurt them both very badly-him emotionally and her phiscally--- really only time will heal your pain even tho it will still hurt---
figure oout what you want to do--i cant answer that for you--do you want to leave him(from ur story its probably the best thing) or stay and deal with everything-wondering if he is doing it agian? bc if they do it 1 time they will miss it and do it agian... i am sorry about all this--i know its hard and you feel helpless and worthless-- but you are not---hope things work out 4 the best...
2006-10-09 09:59:36 · answer #5 · answered by Deidre~&~Joshua 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
file charges on her,, alienation of affection,, its a real and viable suit,, hire a private detective to get proof and if you divorce you can get alimony too
2006-10-09 09:47:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have sex with at least 3 of his friends. Then tell him about it.
2006-10-09 09:46:54 · answer #7 · answered by n2bateyou2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once a CHEATER always a CHEATER
2014-11-25 07:06:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
either u can live with it or u can't---that will determine
2006-10-09 09:47:21 · answer #9 · answered by sunbun 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
BEAT HIM WITH STICK
then forget it
2006-10-09 09:47:16 · answer #10 · answered by rav 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋