I was involved in a messy divorce - my X-wife and her husband moved made it impossible for me to visit our daughter. My X told me she changed our daughters last name- without my knowledge. I want to know if her husband has adopted her. I don't know what city they may have done it in. She won't tell me what city she lives in now. Where can I do a nation wide search for adoptions - so I'll know if she has been adopted?
2006-10-09 09:43:11 · 19 answers · asked by cedroo 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Your ex's husband can't legally adopt your daughter without your consent. She can't have her last name changed without your consent. Get a private detective, or report to the court that your child was moved without your knowledge and consent. I don't' know the particulars of your divorce, and it sound like you don't either. You don't know your rights, and you need to. Look it up. Try to get some legal advice, and go from there.
2006-10-09 09:47:12 · answer #1 · answered by mommyofmegaboo 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
She can't be legally adopted if you did not sign over your rights to her. If you never signed over your rights, then your ex is lying, probably to get you to stay away from the little girl. As far as changing her last name, I'm not sure if she can do that either. If you want to see your daughter, hire a lawyer and take her to court. If they are working and paying taxes the courts should be able to find her. And if for some reason she has let her husband adopt your daughter, it isn't valid. If you tell them that you never signed over your rights, the "fake" adoption will be void, they have no choice. Good Luck!!
However, My mom was in a situation like yours, except her ex was very abusive, they had two daughters together, But when she remarried the girls took on our step fathers last name. Not legally, she could not do that without the biological fathers permission, but in school they went by it, and now both are grown and still use the last name.
2006-10-09 09:55:42 · answer #2 · answered by tnmomof2as 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Legally you have to give up your parental rights or have them stripped from you prior to a formal legal adoption... While they may have changed the childs name unless either of the above was done it's not legal...
Most adoption records, especially recent adoptions are sealed for privacy reasons... You would be better off attempting to find your ex's city of residence.. Then hiring a detective to find any legal records if there are any.. Once these records are found you can contest any action and have it over turned with just cause... Remember to do searches on your ex's name linked with the new mans name as well as morphs of them... People who want to hide often change the order of names rather than chooseing whole new names... Jane Susan Doe becomes Susan Jane Doe for instance...
You can file legal papers contesting any possible adoption now, with the paperwork on record (even if you don't know where they are ) you have a much stronger legal case for later on when you may know where they are... Contact a lawyer he/she will be able to walk you through the process... They may also be able to recommend a private detective...
While you are doing all of this keep in mind what is best for your child.. While you definately want to see her and want her to know you and you her.. If alot of time has passed, she may actually resent your turning her life upside down... If she is a teenager especially... It may be better to wait and approach her as an adult when her mother has far less control.. And she is more open to change than a teenager is...
Remember also you can not slip right back into the daddy /aughter relationship you had before she has grown and changed. You have grown and changed... You will need to allow her to set the boundaries of your relationship... She may have hugely wrong idea about what happened and you can do more damage than good if you try to changer her mind more quickly than she is ready to accept..
Also contact the courts in your area set up a child support account through the court... You pay your support payment to that account over seen by the court.. The money goes into a savings type account you can not touch... While neither you nor the court knows where to send the money you are getting credit for paying... When/if your ex or the child are located the money goes to them in a lump sum with no late penalty because you payed on time to the court... By paying to the court account you are also showing over time your oposition to any adoption... Yet again a lawyer can help you walk through the appropriate filing paperwork and such..
2006-10-09 10:02:02 · answer #3 · answered by Diane (PFLAG) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your attorney now immediately. She cannot change your daughters name or have her adopted without your signature unless she went the route of saying you abandoned the family and she doesn't know where you are. This is when they put an ad in the newspaper looking for you. Of coarse they would not use a paper where you might actually see the ad. If she is getting child support and she did this she is committing fraud. Too many things going on here you really need your attorney and maybe a PI too. Get the attorney ASAP!
2006-10-09 10:05:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like your ex wife is playing some serious head games with you. Now, she CAN have your daughter use a "pen name" so that its like hers but the schools and that have to have a copy of her birth certificate. The only way she can go through with change her name and all that is for her new husband to legally adopt her and that would involve a lot of court time and legal fees. They would have to do a search for you (pending that she is claiming she doesnt know where you are), then they would have to have preliminary hearings and the like. My recommendation would be to consult your attorney and have him get a visitation enforcement placed on your ex. Let your attorney do the dirty work. Especially since she wont tell you where is at. That could be construed as a form of legal kidnapping. Best of luck to you.
2006-10-09 09:55:29 · answer #5 · answered by Lucky Me 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are paying child support regularly, She can't have any one adopt the child without your consent! Signed, notarized consent. If she's tryed the absentee parent approach then she has to prove that there has been no contact nor child support payments for at least two years. If need be, you can go back to court and have the judge help you work out visitation for the new circumstances.
Your ex has to comply. Or loose custody - which may take another year or so but keep at it. Your child deserves to know you, which helps them know who they are. Sorry about the difficult situation. Hope every thing turns out better!!
2006-10-09 09:58:34 · answer #6 · answered by Carolyn T 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she does not have full custody she can not change the name. Maybe you should call up the lawyer you had for the divorce and find out, you may need to take her back. If she changed the name without your permission, plus you have the right to know where your child is living at ALL times.
2006-10-09 09:48:07 · answer #7 · answered by The Invisible Woman 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How are you having contact with her? If it is by phone, why can't you track her down that way?
The website Intellus is very useful for tracking down people. I found my husbands ex-wife using her social security number that I got off their divorce decree.
It isn't that easy for her just to change the childs name and let her new hubby adopt it. I would think that there would have been a lot of red tape that she would have to go through before she could do that.
One of my friends is a PI and she said to go to zabasearch.com and it is free.
2006-10-09 15:03:14 · answer #8 · answered by LittleMermaid 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I extremely have questioned this too. The accessory in no way made me ask your self. i understand lots of folk who's mum and dad have accents, mutually as the youngsters do not. in spite of if, the visual attraction, easily so. My 6 year previous has even asked approximately this. She is familiar with, case in point, 2 human beings make a individual, 2 starfish make a starfish. So how ought to a crab & something make a whale? i ask your self whether it is going to ever be addressed interior the show.....
2016-11-27 03:11:21 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would get an attorney or private investigator. How is she telling you these things...mail / private calls...? Are your wages garnished for child support. Your rights have to be terminated, voluntarily or not...and depending on how long it's been since you have seen your daughter, I guess it would be a possibility that she claimed abandonment. Good luck in finding her...and if you do...sue for full custody!
2006-10-09 09:48:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋