Insecure. Help me?

Question

I'm ruinig my relationship because of insecurity. From time to time my boyfriend on 13 months with move things around like pictures to test me. We don't have any children. I feel like he loves me, but he still wants to see what out there. Help me. Please

Answer 1

Run, don't walk, away from this situation. There should be more important things for him to do than set up "tests". He's got way to much unproductive time on his hands.

Belittling your self esteem and causing you to question yourself is not love. Its abuse. Looking for companionship while still with you only sounds like he's ready to move on, if something else comes along. Don't be content to be a stepping stone.

You reached out to strangers because you are unhappy. Please listen to one of these strangers with courage. It was brave to ask a personal question knowing you may receive a lot of silly answers. You are not insecure, only a little fearful of being alone. Everybody is. Please don't let that stop you from believing you want and deserve a loving relationship. Please don't settle for anything or anybody that only makes you one half of a "couple". You've got way too much time ahead of you to spend it thinking "if only I had trusted my heart"...

Answer 2

Hes ruining your relationship, he is taking advantage of your insecurity by testing you, do you need that???. Make sure you don't have children with him. If hes under 25 then yes he still does want to see whats out there. Ease up and take a look around yourself, there is no need to get panicky, he is far from the last man on earth, or even the last man you will ever love.

Answer 3

He is making you feel more insecure than what you already feel. Do the opposite and see how it works. If he says he wants to date around: say sure and mean it! If he says he wants only you say: Nay, maybe it's best to date around. Whatever it takes do something different cause your gonna lose him if you are too uptight in the insecurity. Relax and go with the flow no matter how much it hurts. I have been there and now I could care less either way cause I overcame the anxiety of it all and so can you. Hang in there it will get better.

Answer 4

If he still wants to see what's out there then he doesn't love you or respect you ,,, I mean what do you think he's going to do if he finds some one who attracts him more than you do ,,,,,And there you sit ,,,,, on needles and pins with you worried that you are ruining your relationship ,,,,,,He could easily use that for an excuse to break up with you when he did find someone else,,,,, If he loved you and respected you then he wouldn't always be looking else where to begin with ,,,, He would be wrapped up in you and making sure that you felt secure in the relationship the two of you are suppose to have So I believe that it's not you that is ruining your relationship with him ,,,,, It's him doing the damage ,,,,,, There's nothing you can do to stop him from looking ,,,, he's going to do that regardless ,,,,, So it's got you in a tizzy about what's going on ,,,, You seem convinced that you are the one causing the trouble ,,,,,,, Well ,,,,,,,,,, NOOOOT ! ! ! ,,,,,,,, It takes two fully attentive people to make a relationship ,,,,,,, Clearly his attentiveness is greatly lacking ,,,,,, Don't let this guy make a fool of you or play with your head,,,,, bring it out once and for all but get it over with ,,,,, YOU DON"T NEED THIS CRAP ,,,,,,If anyone does the breaking up then let it be you not him ,,,,You could easily turn the tables on him and use the excuse that he's always looking and that you don't like it so you are setting him free to look all he wants ,,,,, Let him do this to someone else but not you anymore He will always be looking no matter who he's going with or married to later on ,,,, And don't let him talk you out of it either ,,,, He's already done the damage ,,,,, He's not the only fish in the pond so to speak ,,,, It's your turn to start looking ,,,,,,, the ball is in your court ,,,, what are going to do with it ?,,,,, Yoda said this ,,,,, luck ,,,

Answer 5

First of all, he should not be "testing" you. If he truly loves you then i don't feel like he would be doing that especially if he knows you are insecure. It doesn't matter how insecure you are, it is his job to help you feel more secure in the relationship at all costs.

Answer 6

Trust is always a big issue in relationships. You have to always be the bigger person and chose your agruments. Everytime you or your mate leaves the house alone that is given oppurtunity to cheat. You just have to trust that he is not cheating. And also do not make room for him to cheat. Put something on him body and mind so that all he thinks about is you.

Answer 7

then really what do u want someone who wants 2 be out there or someone who wants 2 b part of your world, seems like u kow the =answer just dont want 2 accept that ur heart is telling u 2 leave do u think u deserve better? only u can answer that.

Answer 8

You just have to realize that he loves you, and almost nothing can change that fact. If this love is meant to be for the two of you, then your relationship will last forever. Stop worrying, let fate decide.

Answer 9

I think it is just a normal guy thing. My husband is the same way. Just take it in stride. Talk to him and tell him you don't want him to do that. Sit down and talk and see what you find out.

Answer 10

You need to read Dr Phils book on relationships, I'm sure you will find what you need in that book. The address is http://www.drphil.com