I need some advice, please?

Question

What exactly does becoming intimate with your boyfriend mean? Does this involve more than just having sex with him? How does establishing a physical connection bring two people closer together?

I have known my boyfriend for a year. We both decided we don't want to take things slow anymore. We both want to move things further in this area but neither one of us is quite sure how to do this.

Answer 1

Seriously!!!! Too much thought into the actual moment can really prolong it any futher than the two of you want. Be spontanious. When it feels right and you the both of you want the other just as much - go for it! Its been a year. If the both of you are ready, just do it. And when you get married you can name your child Nike. Just kidding! But, too much thinking into anything emotional can destroy it. It sounds as if either one or both have been through a bad relationship, or its one or both of yours first time. Be safe, use protection and let the real emotions be shown. A physical relationship between two people that truly care/ love about one another is just the most awesome, most exciting, thing anyone can experience. It really does bring the two people who care about each other more than anything else on earth closer than any words can describe. You wont be able to find enough time or places to "be together." You WILL see what I am trying to explain. And by the way, I definitly give you props for waiting a year. Everyone and everthing is just so damn fast moving any more. Take it easy and be cool! LOL

Answer 2

Intimacy can mean a physical thing, but it can also mean an emotional thing.

If you have to ask it probably means you haven't experienced emotional/intellectual intimacy.

Since you say you've known your boyfriend for a year (although knowing someone isn't the same as being in a relationship with them), this may not turn out to be the case with you; but it is possible - particularly when people are young - that getting sexually involved may actually stop the two people from having the kind of intimacy that isn't about physical stuff; because particularly for teenage boys and young men of 20/21 or so, it becomes easy for them to start emphasizing the physical stuff and not bother with any more depth in the non-sex part of the relationship.

People (especially young people) can kind of think that the process of development of a relationship begins with meeting someone, reaches a milestone once sex has become part of it, and may or may not move on to marriage.

There is supposed to be a whole lot more to a relationship.

If neither of you are "quite sure how to do this" it would seem pretty clear that neither of you are ready. Since the beginning of time people and animals have figured out quite naturally how to "do this". It sounds to me like the two of you may think this is what you ought to be doing because its what many people do, but I think you should just relax, let your relationship build naturally and without any "wheel-spinning", and don't feel compelled to make some "intellectual decision" to move things in a direction you aren't comfortable bringing them.

If you feel you need something to bring you closer together emotionally that means you don't have between you what you should have before you get into the sex stuff. Some people don't need to have a relationship or love to get involved with sex, but some want those things first.

Because you have asked this question it would make one believe you are approaching the matter from an intellectual viewpoint or as if getting involved with sex is something you think you ought to do.

Hold off until both of you have no more questions. Don't let the attitudes of this day and age pressure you into doing what you're not comfortable with.

Answer 3

Being intimate with your boyfriend means having an emotional connection with him first with both of you being trusting and honest with each other about what YOU want not just what he wants or you are afraid of losing him if you don't take the next step. After you get that emotional bond you won't need to ask what it does mean and then you will know when the time is right. You can still take it slow by starting off with oral sex. There are so many different ways to please your boyfriend in this way. If you decide to have intercourse use condoms from the very first time. Keep some in your purse incase he forgets. Remember you can get pregnant the very FIRST time so don't take any chances.

Answer 4

Intimacy involves holding hands and kissing. It can also mean having sex. A physical connection can bring two people together it depends on the level of the intimacy. Although I do not encourage sex before marriage, holding hands and kissing has it's time in a relationship as well.
Your boyfirend and yourself should just let things happen. Discuss it further. See what his plans for the future relationship are. Think about what it is you want and need in your life. Does this guy fulfill you? Does he fill fulfilled in just being around you? Do you love him? Does he love you? Are you all better at just being friends?
There is alot to think about here. Don't move too fast; you could get hurt.

Answer 5

It depends. There is physical intimacy and then there is emotional intimacy. Most of the time when people say become intimate, they are talking about physical intimacy. A physical connection can make people become closer when they make love versus just having sex. Emotional intimacy is more like sharing everything, trusting each other and just being extremely close.

Answer 6

Being intimate involves sharing each others feelings emotionally and physically. It's not just about having sex but it's about tending to his needs, showing love, affection, being there, making love, and expressing your feelings. All of these things will definitely bring you two closer together and you'll fall in love even more. Good luck

Answer 7

Sex does not necessarily mean being close "intimate." It means that we can be who we are in a relationship, and allow the other person to do the same. it means we can talk openly about things that are important to us, that we take a clear position on where we stand on important emotional issues. And allowing the other person to do the same. Emotionally connected without wanting to change the other person.

Intense feelings that we normally feel in the beginning do not necessarily mean true and enduring closeness. Its in the long run that counts.

I hope this helps

Answer 8

Love is not a physical thing. Intimacy is being able to totally trust someone with your inner most feelings Comunication is the key, if you get to this point of intimacy then sex becomes love making and nothing is better than that.

Answer 9

It's a closeness that you want to experience with one person.
It doesn't necessarily mean you have to have sex, being intimate could be laying in bed close to one another having a great conversation. I know this is cliche, but it could be just looking into each others eyes and FEELING the closeness you have with each other.
You have to feel comfortable with each other and trust each other 100% if your even thinking about getting physical (if it's that kind of relationship).

Answer 10

Ask him if he means marriage or an engagement. If sex is the issue than ask him that too. Put all of the cards on the table and be specific when dealing with emotions. I am sure things will come out just fine.