I've been in a serious relationship for a year and things have been going well. She frequently tells me that I'm the one she wants to be with forever too (We are both 25). The most difficult part for us has been the long distance since she lives in another state, and visits family in another country often. We've both agreed that living in the same city would be ideal.
Here's the problem, now she's going back to college for 2-3 years...and she's deciding between one in her state and one near me. Both are good schools but the one in her state has a slightly better reputation. Today, she told me that her top choice is in her state, which really surprised me. Part of me wants to be 100% supportive since I want the best for her, but part of me knows that our relationship will suffer as the distance is already difficult to manage and living in the same city would allow us to see each other often and secure our future together. Does she care more about a school's ranking than us?? Help!
2006-10-09 09:03:24 · 10 answers · asked by lacoste5681 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Are you in school or working? If working- have you considered moving for her? So that she get the best education she wants and deserves. Its seems you're half way there since you have had a long distance relationship. It seem that you guys have the foundation of a good relationship - don't let logistics spoil it for you. The choice is yours to make.
Good Luck!
2006-10-10 04:46:30 · answer #1 · answered by ~Dee~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No she is looking out for her future and that's good, she is putting herself 1st, and if you want to be with a strong independent woman you've hit the jackpot. A relationship is 50/50 so if you can move with out interrupting your life style then move to the state she lives in..but remember one thing it has only been a year and if you have been seeing long distance things can change when you are around your partner more often. And being with someone for a year is not long enough to for a women to make a big jump and turn down a nocth on her belt of goals. Only week and clingy women do that!
2006-10-09 16:19:27 · answer #2 · answered by cody 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
can you relocate? if not, then I suggest you both have a cards out on the table heart to heart. Seeing each other often doesn't secure a future together, especially if that's not something that has been the norm. Take it from someone who is a "long distance relationship expert": it's true absence makes the heart grow fonder, but you also can realize that you like the concept of what your relationship seems to be (and can be) more than the reality of what it will be (living in close quarters). Have a heart to heart so you both can determine if this is a good investment or if it's best to cut your lossess.
2006-10-09 16:12:16 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
"She lives in another state?" Don't you live in "another state" too, from her vantage point? I can't really tell you what she cares more about, but a good rule of thumb is that you are the only one you ultimately have any say over. Ask yourself the questions first, at least. Do you care more about a job/family/property, or whatever it is, more than your relationship? She can't help but be defensive if you aren't willing to face the same questions. But perhaps you have just left some pertinent information out, such as why she has to be the one to move.
2006-10-09 16:15:00 · answer #4 · answered by Selkie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi!
I dont think this can be a question in a relationship that u just described.
It is obvious that this time you are the one who has to be flexible and follow her to the city where she is going to school. If you really love her you can do it. And I am sure that if she feels the same she is going to appreciate it.
So be brave, face the challenge and move with her!
Good luck!
2006-10-09 16:30:02 · answer #5 · answered by Krisztina 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is definately a tough question. But, i'm going to lay it out straight. with the divorce rate being so high trhese days, can we realy put one's education in second place?
This gal loves you very much , but wants the best for her career. I don't think this is a bad thing its jut unfortunate you could not go to a school or move to be closer to her...why is it that you cannot move. If your feelings are so strong...are they strong enough for you to move to be with her?
2006-10-09 16:09:52 · answer #6 · answered by bald_guy69 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be so selfish. Her schoolling will lay the grounds for her future, and very possibly yours. If you're asking that question, than be prepared for her to ask what's so important that you are not willing to move out to her state? Or at least closer.
2006-10-09 16:06:11 · answer #7 · answered by Mel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, she cares bout the school more....but dont judge her... u have to have ur priorities rite. Just coz she is ur number 1 priority and ur not her's, she cant change herself.... i knw its difficult...but Im just being frank
2006-10-09 16:08:19 · answer #8 · answered by dd 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move to be near her. I bet she would do it for you if it weren't for school.
2006-10-09 16:06:40 · answer #9 · answered by Ade 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't be selfish why can't you move to the city where she goes to school?
2006-10-09 16:06:57 · answer #10 · answered by wendy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋