I've been with my boyfriend for 13 months and I'm still having a hard time trusting him. He admits that he like chatting on the net, but he said he would never meet anyone from the net. I'll leave him to have some alone time for himself, but when i get back I'll notice things have been moved. What is going on with me? Its really hurting our relationship.
2006-10-09 08:40:47 · 18 answers · asked by alphasweet06 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Maybe he's playing with himself looking at stuff on the internet, but why do you care?
2006-10-09 08:44:45 · answer #1 · answered by TKO 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First I would ask about past relationships. Have you had this insecurity about every boyfriend or just this one? If it applies to all then yes you may be having an insecurity problem. If not, then you may be feeling that something in your relationship is not quite right.
Second, chatting with people on the net is not wrong. But chatting with women on the net in a sexual or flirting manner is the same as meeting them and going out on a date. It is not being honest and above board. If your boyfriend is having chats on the internet that are like this then he is cheating on you whether he meets them or not. This means he is still out looking and will eventually meet someone.
As far as things being moved, what exactly is moved? Normal things? Your things? Did the chair move or phone or picture? Not sure what that means.
You know its no crime to have some alone time for yourself and take a break from dating. Maybe there are some things that you need to figure out for and about yourself before you find that man that doesn't cause you to wonder or doubt.
2006-10-09 15:49:20 · answer #2 · answered by r_k_winters 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound to me to be a person who is aware of her problem, & what the root cause is. The only thing to do now is decide where & when you are going to make the necessary change.
When you go off & leave him alone, you then come back looking for proof that he's being unfaithful to you. If you caught him with some evidence & confronted him with it, how would that make you feel better? You may have already decided that he's going to be unfaithful so now you just have to keep looking until you find the goods on him, & then you know it's over with him. But until that day comes, you will be uneasy because you are sure that it's comming but you can't find a way to control when & how it ends, right?
There is an old saying. "What you fear the most, you will end up making it happen"
Stop giving in to unfounded fears, & stop seeking the foundation for your fears as well. If he's cheating on you, you will know it soon enough without peeking around every corner, looking for evidence that isn't there.
2006-10-09 15:55:06 · answer #3 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi. I think instincts are usually pretty good in these situations (as long as you haven't been really hurt before, and are just overly paranoid). If you feel like you can't trust him... well, this might hurt to hear, but the relationship is no good if you can't trust each other completely. I mean that. Real love that can LAST must be based on a mutual trust and respect for each other.
Maybe you could "take a break", see how he behaves. If he is immediately running around with other ladies, you will have a clearer answer.
Good luck!
2006-10-09 15:47:02 · answer #4 · answered by stillstanding 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well as long as you have no children the world is so full of people that you CAN trust you just sound like you feel obligated to him for some reason, and you need to maybe video him snooping around you'd be surprised on what 's going on when your not there. Besides the best things in life are the people we love, the places we've been and the memories that we've made along the way! So go make memories!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-10-09 15:46:40 · answer #5 · answered by prprincessvita 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your instincts are screaming out to you that he is cheating on you. 9 times out of 10 your instincts are right. He is probably telling you in a fit of anger that you are crazy and need help for blaming him of being untrustworthy. He is untrustworthy if he is saying anything like that to you. Trust me, been there, bought the t-shirt. 13 months is long enough to get a good feel for someone that you are in a relationship with. YOU need to TRUST yourself more, and know when you KNOW something isn't right. BLessed be..........
2006-10-09 15:50:44 · answer #6 · answered by shy&gental 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really just need to get a grip and realize that this guy likes you and is with you because he does. There must have been something in your past relationships that have made you like this and making you react the way you are. Maybe if you come clean and talk to him about why you are insecure, he will understand and might be able to reassure you. I think that if you continue the way you are, he will eventually get tired of it and move on. Learn to trust yourself and learn to give him the space he needs without the insecurities. Being able to be confident that the guy is with you should give you a big enough ego boost to realize that all of this is really something you should calm down about. Good luck!
2006-10-09 15:45:13 · answer #7 · answered by swtz69drmz 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
It is so nice of you to "leave him to have some alone time for himself". Wow you are so giving. I think that maybe while you are gone he is moving things. Or maybe aliens are coming in and moving things. Depends on what things are moving, if it is just pets then I would not be alarmed. If a vase is moved then he is cheating on you. If a vase and a picture is moved then he is gay and cheating on you with a man.
2006-10-09 15:45:03 · answer #8 · answered by Got2seeit 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you cant seem to trust him then you should re evaluate why you are together and if its worth you stressing yourself out for nothing. Or you should ask yourself what are the pros and cons of the relationship and see if you want to stay and put up with it or leave
2006-10-09 15:49:14 · answer #9 · answered by Jay B. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to chill out. At least he's just chatting, it could be worse (cheating). Be happy you have one. What has he done to make you so insecure and try to work on resolving that issue before you destory the relationship.
2006-10-09 15:46:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's not doing anything to make you feel a little secure, i would say end it. i think it might be a little more than your insecurity that's being involved. if things were perfect with you and him, I don't think you would be bothered as much. Take some time to figure out what's important to you and be confident in yourself. people that love us should never take advantage of our insecurities.
2006-10-09 15:46:40 · answer #11 · answered by Need Answers 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋