Okay i am 4 months pregnant. The dad was my boyfriend of a year and i dumped him when i got my bank statement back and he stole over 500 bucks from me by forging my checks. I was never going to talk to him again but i found out i am pregnant. He was using the money to do cocain. Believe it or not doing cocain does not mess up sperm so my baby should be fine. Anyways he graduated with a BS from penn state over a year ago and still has no job. He wanted to be with me or me have an abortion. I am not having an abortion so he threw me accross the room and I got a restraining order against him. What should i do about when the baby is born? Can I not put him on the birth certificate and still get child support? Where i live it is 1000 a month for day care and i make 1600 and rent is 500 so i will be hurting for money but it is better than killing an innocent person. He sends me e-mails saying he wants to be im the kids life but i don't trust him. butI don't want my kid to hate me
2006-10-09 08:37:12 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
DO NOT put him on the birth certificate. You will not be entitled to any child support, but if you do put him on there, you are giving him equal rights to your child. In other words, he would be able to take the child whenever he wants, and you can't do anything. I would take it through court, especially since he's already screwed up by physically harming you and your baby. If you don't put him on the bc, paternity will have to be determined. Then support and custody and visitation can be determined from there. You're better off getting things set from the beginning. Trust me.
2006-10-09 08:44:52 · answer #1 · answered by angelbaby 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You can't get child support unless you put his name on the birth certificate. Now what you can do is take him to court. Petition the courts for help. But there is no way you can collect child support and not let him see the baby. And where do you live that daycare is 1000 a month? My day care is 155 a week and that equals 610 a month. But get the courts involved. Talk to a lawyer and go from there. Don't worry everything will be okay. A judge will never allow a baby to be with a violent person. So stay away from him and see what you can do. Your baby will be just fine and will never hate you. Cause you chose to keep him.
2006-10-09 08:44:27 · answer #2 · answered by Kimberly S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As most have said, put him on the birth certificate and get yourself into court as quickly as possible after the birth for support. If he claims not to be the father, they will probably order a DNA test. If he doesn't show or agrees he is the father, child support will be ordered and I hope that your attorney does a good job in convincing the court that any visitation must be supervised.
If you do not do this, he still has the right to take YOU to court and have a DNA test ordered and then he can get visitation. You need to get the upper hand and get there first.
Don't expect to get any money from him if he is still unemployed, but it will be adding up to deduct from his checks once he IS employed. You can probably get financial assistance from the state in that case, and that would reduce your payments later to help pay back the state.
2006-10-09 09:02:35 · answer #3 · answered by jboatright57 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best answer on what you should do should come from legal aid or a lawyer. You could start with contacting a battered women's shelter...they will have a list of resources for you.
You will need to put the father's name on the birth certificate if you intend to seek child support. You can also take steps to prevent him having access to the child because of his drug use and violent tendencies. You need to make sure you document everything, though. Hold on to that bank statement which shows he stole money from you. Keep the restraining order. If you have any of the forged checks, keep those as well. You'll need them to prove your point.
Your child will never hate you if you are making a decision which is in his/her best interest. Good for you for taking the steps you need to protect your child.
Best of luck
2006-10-09 08:49:01 · answer #4 · answered by txgirl_2_98 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have a restraining order on him he should not be sending you
e-mails, and if you are responding to him, then you're giving him the message that neither of you should take the restraining order seriously.
He will have to pay you child support, and he may or may not be granted custody, depending on the circumstances. You will need to put his name on the birth certificate, and if the courts allow it, your child will have a right to have him in his or her life.
This is a matter that is going to have to be handled by the courts, and seriously, a grown man with a drug and violence problem isn't something a pregnant woman should be handling anyway.
If you want the courts to order support, you should start taking the restraining order seriously. They're not going to want to help you if they think you've wasted their time and taxpayer's money on a restraining order that you don't take seriously.
2006-10-09 09:08:37 · answer #5 · answered by Emily O 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Keep the restraining order on. Now add on theft, maybe you can get some of the money back. Once the baby is born make sure that he is listed as the father - then go after him for child support. Hopefully you will eventually find someone else who is a lot better than a coke-using, girl-friend beating thief who can neither control his temper nor his sex urges.
2006-10-09 08:47:54 · answer #6 · answered by smgray99 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh I am sorry to hear about your situation. I do not think that if you get child support or even if you do not you will be able to keep him out of the childs life. I do understand not trustin him and ask the judge to do random drug tests, a parenting class... however I would press charges for the forging and move on.
Good luck!
2006-10-09 09:31:22 · answer #7 · answered by Tricia P 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your baby's father hasn't demonstrated that he really wants to be in the child's life. The first step in demonstrating that is for him to be supportive of you. Not just financially, but emotionally. I don't think he's up to the task.
Get some legal counsel about what your respective rights are as parents. You need to know what he can do legally if for whatever reason he decides to press the issue and involve himself with the child.
2006-10-09 08:55:17 · answer #8 · answered by Le_Roche 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get your parents invovleved tell them about the situation see if you can sit up a get together with him and a law year and them and set down some rules to where he gets to see the kids, and you get to see them, and he has to pay child support. Also that if he ever hurts u or the kids or u have any reason to believe he is either hurting them or are going to hurt them he will loose his rights to it and go to jail.
2006-10-09 08:47:24 · answer #9 · answered by crazy8girl07 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he is violent with you, then don't let him into your child's life. You don't ever want him/her to know that abuse. You have to put him on the birth certificate to get him to pay child support. He helped you make that baby so he still needs to help take care of it. Let the state take care of him but you shouldn't have to put up with his crap.
2006-10-09 08:43:02 · answer #10 · answered by Chi1linVi1lain 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋