my mom has recently died and i found her dead.We didnt always get on,and iv relised how much i miss,need and so many things that i didnt get to say,and its to late.I have good and bad days,but there are a 100 things going though my mind how i could have been a better daughter.I just miss her and dont know what to do
2006-10-09 08:32:59 · 20 answers · asked by liitle punk girl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
First off, realize that your mother knew you loved her, even if you didn't always get along. Also, realize that your mother loved you, no matter what. As far as wishing you could tell her some things...just tell her. She'll hear you.
2006-10-09 08:42:25 · answer #1 · answered by caylinn1996 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They say that time is the best healer. dont feel bad about the times you didnt get on i dont think theres a single person out there who hasnt argued with their parents im sure you were the best daughter in the world in your mums eyes and im sure she was very proud of you take each day at a time your grief wont go away overnight if you are finding it really hard to cope you should go and see your doctor he'll be able to arrange some councelling for you if you need it.
Good luck.x
2006-10-09 08:38:42 · answer #2 · answered by *DB* 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm so sorry but I have just went through the same thing, but I'm a mother also your mother loves you and would not want you to feel bad, my daughter and I don't see eye to eye alot but I still love her, theirs nothing she could do to ever change that so chin up I no you miss her and it was a trauma to actually be the one to find her also, find some support group things will get better, learn from the past but don't stay there remember the good times don't dwell on the bad I have found this has helped me alot good luck!!!
2006-10-09 08:42:32 · answer #3 · answered by Dianna S 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It may be time to give some thought to ideas of how people don't die if we remember them. You can still "tell her" about how you wished you'd behaved differently while she was still living. It won't bring her back to life, but you'd be surprised how much better it can help you feel. Try making a pledge to her about something you two had some of your worst interaction over, to bridge some of the gap that you are feeling. If you attend religious services, try talking with someone there. If not, you might find it helpful to begin a real relationship with a higher power as you would define such a one.
2006-10-09 08:56:09 · answer #4 · answered by Charlee 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have suffered a great tragedy, & being the one to discover her body is even more devastating.
Of course you have lot's of things on your mind right now, & you need to talk to someone to help you sift through them all, & sort out what is relevant to you at this moment, & what is only serving to clutter up your mind.
A professional councellor would be a great place to start, it's not a statement that you are crazy, & it's not a sign of weakness either. I find going to a councellor when I feel troubled, to be very rewarding.
You deserve to feel rewarded too, don't you?
2006-10-09 08:42:29 · answer #5 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sometimes talking with your best friends and family members can help. I'm sure your Mum knew how much you love her, parents usually do, and they may not always say it, but they are usually tremendously proud of their children. Nobody gets on with their folks all the time, so don't give yourself a hard time about that. Nobody's perfect! Your question is heart-breaking in it's honesty and directness. I really hope you can come to terms with your terrible loss. Love
2006-10-09 08:44:14 · answer #6 · answered by brack706 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I feel so very sad for you. Sometimes we don't get a second chance. You can still honor your Mom, by going on with your life and doing the things you know are right. I don't know your age. I am 57 and I found my Mom in 2001, after she passed. It is tough. If you would like to, you may email me if you would like to talk.
God Bless You and Your Family.
2006-10-09 09:38:22 · answer #7 · answered by kayboff 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
oh my goodness--that is such a terrible way to have to let go! i'm so sorry for what you have gone through!
this reminded me of a question i answered a few months ago...i would probably suggest the same thing to you, as i did to this person. go to:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AlA9DIYReIusQWaZ16h06azsy6IX?qid=20060628074709AAu2Pwp
and finally, i think sometimes you have to just 'know' deep down how to relate to someone. even though you probably chose to treat your mom bad, that's just immature things. i mean, even if it hurt her, she KNEW what you were doing. everyone has that common bond, where no matter what's said or done...deep down, you know that you care for each other.
i read somewhere that even (especially in spouses) when you get in terrible fights, etc....it's because you have a lot of passion....so even things like that are good sometimes, because of the love/passion you share. you wouldn't get as angry if y ou didnt care. so just keep that in mind.
i hope things get better and my prayers are with you!
2006-10-09 08:40:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wow...I'm sorry about what happened and how you feel about it.
To make myself feel better, I lay in bed and stare at the ceiling.
Listening music really helps too.
I usually listen to songs that have deep indecipherable meanings that really make you think about life.
Don't pull yourself down, just...cheer up.
Most important things are left unsaid.
Like, you don't have to say "I love you" to someone because they already know you do.
I hope things get better for you.
2006-10-09 08:44:20 · answer #9 · answered by Jacques 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Go sit by her grave and talk and cry. These are all normal feeling your having. My husband found it very comforting just sitting there by his dad and they even had a good relationship. As the time went on it got better.
2006-10-09 08:42:36 · answer #10 · answered by Carol 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋