as usual cause i have no life i was having a discussion with this guy, actually my friend's ex who became a ex cause he cheated. well he said that he should be forgiven cause he said that it was sorry and that he is a man for confessing and saying that he was sorry. i told him no it is very easy to say ur sorry cause u want her to give you a chance and that just cause u said ur sorry doesnt make you a man. what makes you a man is keeping your promise of commitment to her...to keep that promise is being a MAN. he got mad, cursed me out for not helping him and wishes that i die slowly...which i'm kool with cause i know i wont get any disease...i want to know what you guys think? thank you!
2006-10-09 07:57:42 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
so flashpro which are you the cheater or the cheated on? hummm, let me guess.....
2006-10-09 08:39:44 · update #1
I agree with you. Once he cheats on someone and that someone lets him back into her life, he knows he has a free pass, most of the time. Your friend is absolutely right for not giving him a second chance. A real man would have not cheated at all. He would have either kept his promise or broke up with her when he realized he wasn't ready for a commitment.
He's spoiled, isn't he?
2006-10-09 08:01:03 · answer #1 · answered by FaerieWhings 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Once someone gets busted cheating isn't it funny how then (some of the time they just keep on telling lies... IDIOTS) they decide to get honest with you?
Hel lo? Only after they are caught and you already know the truth LOL. Then like the guy your speaking of they pat themselves on the back for telling the truth and apologizing. Knowing that sticking around without an apology is not happening at all.
I just do not think they are truly sorry for cheating, sorry for getting busted at it but that's the only regret it seems.
Saying you are sorry doesn't come close to making it all okay. You have to earn back the trust that is if you are lucky enough to have someone that;ll give you another chance.
You were right and the cheater is out of line. There seems to be a pattern forming here. LOL
2006-10-09 08:06:04 · answer #2 · answered by notskerd 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's very hard to say "I'm sorry" because there's been a violation of the trust between two people. It's hard because the cheater may feel contrite or just saying it to get back into good graces. It's also hard because the one that has been cheated on has lost the trust and respect in that person. Trust is hard to gain and easy to lose. Sometimes a couple needs counseling in order to get past the cheating. So that is also a consideration.
It all, largely, depends on how both people want to treat the cheating. Some are willing to work on it and others want to take their time. So just decide on how you want to go about it and grow from there.
2006-10-09 08:02:25 · answer #3 · answered by Red1 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
It's easy to say you're sorry. This is proven by the fact that the words implying commitment (I love you, I will never cheat on you, I respect you) were also easy to say. Actions will always speak louder than words. This guy has no clue and isn't worth anyone's time.
The best way to get back into someone's good graces isn't by cursing out someone's best friend. Perhaps now he's learned his lesson and will value what he has instead of gambling it and losing it.
I sincerely hope your friend has no intention of taking him back anytime soon. I do believe that we all make mistakes and can learn from them, but based on his hostility and juvenile response to your statement, that time is a long ways away.
2006-10-09 08:04:34 · answer #4 · answered by cara_007 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I can say sorry in so many ways it's not even funny. But I guess I always hold myself. I never said it, unless I mean it. I never say "I'm sorry" to please people, or simply just to make things go easier.
That's not the case for many men though. That guy is a bastard, and I'll just stop at that.
Edit: Tell him that being a man means more than just saying "I'm sorry". It also means that he will take responsible for his action, including the break up. If he can't take that consequency, he shouldn't cheat in the first place.
2006-10-09 08:03:15 · answer #5 · answered by septiant 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, my story is quite the opposite. I found it very hard to say I was sorry for cheating on the ONLY man I've ever cheated on. I was out of town and slept with my ex husband...ONLY because I kept getting accused of it while 15 hours away, I wanted to know what he was doing when I wasn't there. (The guilty dog barks first...) He was very persistant about suggesting I was screwing around, so I gave him a reason to. I love him wholeheartedly, and in his past, he's cheated on everyone he's dated. It was hard for me to believe he wasn't. (Still didn't make it right for what I did) Nonetheless, I came home, told him the truth about what I did, and believe me, it took a long time for him to trust me again, but he does and our relationship has been thriving ever since!
ANYONE AT ANYTIME CAN GET ANY DISEASE (BESIDES AN STD, IF YOU'RE CAREFUL)...YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN TODAY MAY BE YOUR LAST SO LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST!
2006-10-09 08:27:31 · answer #6 · answered by Shining Ray of Light 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
He doesn't understand the main issue here. Women are terrified of being abandoned and left to starve (it's an instinctual thing) while carrying a child or having to care for a child they already have. A man who cheats has basically shown her that he can and will abandon her on a whim....that he is that type of man.
He can say he is sorry and mean it. But, it won't change what he revealed to her....that he cannot ever be an acceptable husband and father...ever. There is no point to his pursuing the issue. Let's say she DID forgive him and took him back. Sooner or later, her biological programming will make her replace him.
That's just the way things are.
2006-10-09 08:03:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Saying you are sorry means little to nothing. A cheater cheats it is what they do, they'll never change. A real man doesn't cheat in the first place.
2006-10-09 08:03:06 · answer #8 · answered by J.C.P. 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that its easier to say your sorry than it is to actually forgive them. I know what it feels like first hand to be cheated and after I was cheated on the relationship has never been the same even after she said she was sorry. I have been working on forgiving her but I don't think I will forget.
2006-10-10 06:32:09 · answer #9 · answered by HHH 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have feelings and the cheating was just a spur of the moment it means you truly love that person and you just messed up. But heed caution to the wind of cheaters.
2006-10-09 08:01:10 · answer #10 · answered by cowboysfan4lyfe 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋