What can teen parents do to turn their lives around when they are older?

Question

I had my son when I was 19 and I dont like to say "it ruined my life" b/c I have my son, he is beautiful, and has inspired me to change many things about myself in a positive way. However, I always had this desire to do something big like media, acting, whatever(my parents did).When I had my son most of those things kind of just were erased.I have struggled so much all the way through his life and all though I have a wonderful partner I feel somewhat jelous at his freedom hes had (hes done media things) It so hard as I still have no qualifications and I have been in college consist for 7 years.Its been impossible for me to get a degree at this rate but I am still trying.I dont want to feel like I ruined my life, I want to feel free and I also want to emrace my decisions. I know this is a deep kind of questions but how can I get to this place in my mind. I know I need to keep trying. I have lost alot of self confidence having this be my life for the last 6 yrs.

Also, it has been very hard to be in relationships with ppl b/c i am not confident in my decisions. i feel bad for my bf in a sense b/c he sees me struggle with my life decisions. also, i cant stand my ex (sons dad). I was never in a serious relationship with him and hes a pretty crap dad. how can i get to the place where i feel like everything is balanced. how many peopel have had a child young with someone they didnt really eve care about and then learn later in life what its like to have a real family. are there any repercussions? thanks. this is heavy i know but feels good to get off my chest.

Answer 1

First of all, you're ahead of other teen parents by actually knowing that you may not have been fully ready to have a child as a teen. Also going to college is a step in the right direction. Stay in school no matter how discourage you get; it will pay off in the future! As for now do you have a part time job? If not try getting one or entering your school's work study program. As for your mind keep reminding yourself that you love your son and visit him often.

Answer 2

I can really relate to your situation. I had my daughter when I was a very innocent 21 year old, and her dad wasnt mature enough to stick around. When she was 9 weeks old my mother had a massive stroke so I was left looking after my Mom and my new baby. But, I found the strengh from somewhere to do what I had to do to make our lives better. When my daughter was 7, I decided to go back to school and finish my education. I managed to do this, although it wasnt alwasy easy. Somehow I got a part-time job teaching computer literacy and eventually my Mother had to go into a nursing home. I felt so guilty at being so selfish, but at the end of the day. I made decisions that made life better for me and my daughter. We have a wonderful relationship today, she is 19 years old now and is a wonderful person.

Just keep doing what you are doing and you will have the great life that you so fully deserve. Im sure your son truly loves and appreciates everything you have ever done for him. Dont ever feel that you ruined your life, you enriched it by bringing your son into this world, so dont regret a single thing. If you ever want to talk about anything, feel free to e-mail me or send me a private message.

Best of luck.

Answer 3

You don't need to turn your life around, you are doing pretty well.
You need to keep going forward and get that college degree, in the meantime maybe you can get a job in a related field or in a very small local station or paper. One of the things we do give up as we get older is the idea that we will be able to do something 'big'. For most of us thats not in the cards and we find the ability to do something useful to be more satisfying. When we get to a certain age we know that those 'dream' jobs like rock star, or actor, or president are not altogether realistic for 99.99% of us, but when you are young don't have the responsibility of feeding and caring for children. Its not ruining your life, its finding joy in the path you chose. You must realize that you will never be free nor really would you want to be since free would mean not having your son. We do have choices and when you make them sometimes it does mean cutting another choice out for ever. Sometimes it means delaying them, but freedom, for a mother, is never an option. When you have lost that feeling of self confidence the very best thing you can do is help people who need it worse than you do. Volunteer to tutor or deliver meals on wheels or read at the library. No, its not big, but it is appreciated and useful and very, very big to the people you help.
I was married at 18 and had my daughter at 19 my husband later cheated and we divorced and I remarried and I have been married for 28 years this Dec, so good things can still happen.
Ex hasn't been seen or heard from since 1978

Answer 4

you know the hardest job in the world is being a single parent so start giving your self a pat on the back it is like having three full time jobs that you can never get a break from. Your dreams are still there you can reach them it may take longer but start slow take one or two classes alot of colleges have day care on sight yes it might take you longer but think about how good you will feel when your done and how proud your son will be of you when you have accomplished your dream!!! good luck mama you deserve everything that comes your way!!!

Answer 5

I felt the same way when I had my first at 17 years old. In the beginning it was rough. Baby sitters-money, school-money, work-money goes to school and baby sitter. But then once it was all over, yes it took a while longer to finish school. But now, i am happily married, with a good job, great salary, and another baby on the way (in my 20s). I had to do a lot of praying and keep faith and i had someone who had my back 200%. I thank God for him. Different things work for different people. With me , it was prayer. Find something that mellows you out, whether it's yoga, reading, or God. Trust me. It will work, you will look back on all this and be thankful that you did go through all of that. This will only make you stronger and more cautious with your decisions in the future.

Answer 6

Remember U are truly blessed, ur son has a wonderful mother, keep doing what u gotta do, live life as an all around good person, and eventually everything will work out for you. Stay strong Mommy!

Answer 7

Find a way to go to college. Get child support for your son. Go on speaking tours to high schools and tell the BOYS to quit putting pressure on the girls. Tell the boys parents it's NOT ok for 'boys to be boys'. In other words, don't be passive. Take control of your situation.

Answer 8

prolly best thing you could do would be to go to some type of school are home school internet type deal