My mother thinks I am too young to have a baby?

Question

I am 23 and my husband is 25. We have been together for 5 years and married for 2 years. I finished college, have a great job, and we own a 3 bedroom house. We will have our house paid off in 9 months and then we will have no debt. We are living a comfortable life. We have traveled all over and feel like we have done everything we wanted to do. We are homebodies and don’t feel the need to party or go out and are settled down.

We have been talking about starting our family for a year and know we are ready. I want to have 2 or 3 children and be done at 30. We want to try for a baby now and my mother has figured it out. She thinks 24 years old is too young to be a mother, but we don't. She said I should wait until I am 28 and I am giving up my youth at my age. I think she is bitter because she got pregnant at 18 (dating my father for a YEAR) and divorced at 24. We are trying anyways because its what WE want.

Will her attitude change? Do YOU think 24 is young to have your first baby?

Answer 1

Some people don't change! Don't let your mother ruin your life! You are a MARRIED woman now and this means you can do what you want! Do what you and your husband are certain you want to do and don't let anyone stop you, especially controlling parents or in-laws! As long as you guys are married, have lived your lives and done what you want with your lives, and are financially stable, then do what you want! It is your life!

Answer 2

I was 24 when I had my first child, and I was too young. HOWEVER. I did not own my own home. I was not married. I was not even in a stable relationship. I was not a homebody, nor was I ready to settle down. I had to make some HUGE adjustments for my child. It wasn't a great time for either of us, but we worked thru it.

You and your husband seem to be a lot more together than I was at your age, and IMO you sound ready. Plus which, like you said, it is YOUR decision (the 2 of you), not hers.

Will she get over it if you choose to ignore her advice? Don't know. Maybe, maybe not. It depends on a lot of things. Is she ready to be a gramma? Is she a kid-loving person in general? How does she usually react when you don't take her advice? Does she hold grudges? I wish I could tell you that the moment she sees that precious child, she'll come around, but I can't say that for sure. Also, if she's the grudge type, she may even become "I told you so-ey" if you and your husband ever break up or if anything goes wrong.

Just remember though, any behavior like that on her part is HER problem... you don't have to make it yours. If you two feel ready, then best of luck and go for it, is what I say.

Answer 3

Her attitude may change after the baby is born but probably not before hand.

24 is definately not too young to have a child if that's what you are ready. for. It's the decision of you and your husband.

Your mom had a bad experience and knows that having a baby is hard on a relationship of the man and woman.

I am only 22 years old and I have three beautiful children and wouldn't trade it in for anything in the world. I had only known my husband 3 mos when i got pg and he already had a daughter and vI was 19 so yeah 24 is not too young.

The first 6 mos of every birth will be the hardest on you and your husbands relationship. Just remember to understand each other.

And besides you want to be a young enough grandma to play with your grandchildren.

good luck.

Answer 4

No, it sounds like you have done everything just right...college, travel, been married for a while, all your running and party stuff is over....and all your debt is taken care of...way cool and very very smart...YOUR MOTHER SHOULD BE VERY PROUD OF YOU!!! Sounds like she raised one hell of a kid...I only hope mine are as smart as is sounds like you have been.

Having a child is a life altering experience...nothing is ever the same from A to Z. It is a decision that you and your husband need to make...and involves no one else.

I had one at 28,30, & 33. And the last one was tough...I'm glad I waited, but I didn't meet my husband until I was 24, we got married when I was 26. Your mom is probably speeking from her own heart ache just let it go and try not to take it personally. She'll come around, maybe becomming a GRANDMOTHER at 42 is the problem..but how cool is that, she'll be young enough to have fun with the babies and old enough to give you some great advise. Best of Luck...

Answer 5

Believe it or not your mother is right. There is A LOT that changes between 24 and 28. The age of 28 is around the time where a person's beliefs become solid. Now, I'm not saying that you don't have you head on straight, but what if you end up having a kid or two in the next few years and find out that you were not ready. It is very possible that you could end up messing up a child's life. If this marriage is worth it, then wait until you are 28 and then you will definitely know what you want.

Answer 6

I had my first kid when I was 24!
Pregant at 23.
I think you are a great age to get pregnant, the odds of your body bouncing back are high too!
For your age you are in a great place! Congrats, I am in the same boat, we own a five bedroom home, I drive a new CTS, I am a stay at home mom and have one kid who is almost two.
Just make sure you are done partying...I was never a partier so it didnt bother me.
I dont think you are giving up anything by having a kid now, really you'll be given a whole new life with kids one that actually has meaning! I think you are ready, you'll be a young mom which is great I think for you and you kids. Let me know what happens!

Answer 7

I'm 24 and I have a one year old daughter, so no. I don't think that you're too young. My mother, however, freaked out when I said I was pregnant, and I know that she was 19 when she got pregnant with my older sister, and by the time she was 24, she had two children....I don't know what causes her to feel bad about me being a mom at 24. I have a stable partner and we are going to get married.
I wish you all the best.

Answer 8

Age is not important. There are some people who could be great parents at 18 and some who are never ready. I had my first child when I was 20 and now at 27 have 4 (and that will be all!). We own a houe have 2 cars, fod, clothes and tons of things we probably dont need:) I find I have more energy to play with my kids then a lot of other people who are older. Only you know when you are ready

Answer 9

I think you have to live your life. I think your mother should try living hers instead of yours.
If you feel ready then go for it. Having a child is life shattering though and if your mom is your best friend maybe she knows something you don't?
Encourage her to be honest with you, but be firm and tell her the final decision is yours.
By the way good luck. Being a mother is the hardest, most thankless, most exhausting, greatest, best, happiest, job in life. That is why she's dead set against it. She knows it really isn't all it's cracked up to be, (it's more).

Answer 10

normally yes 24 is a little young, but since you guys are in GREAT and I mean GREAT shape, go ahead , and have the baby. One thing that you may want to consider is that there is a HUGE difference in have 2 or 3 kids. Trust me, it is so much better if you have 2 kids, three is too much in my opinion. With 3, you have the middle child thing and the oldest feels that the other 2 are spoiled brats, the middle child may feel that he/she is ignored, and sometimes the younger one feels like he/she does not have enough freedom. Having 2 kids that are close in age will be so much better in my opinion. Even though they may fight from time to time, they will compliment each other, and become more like friends.