I am 23 and my husband is 25. We have been together for 5 years and married for 2 years. I finished college, have a great job, and we own a 3 bedroom house. We will have our house paid off in 9 months and then we will have no debt. We are living a comfortable life. We have traveled all over and feel like we have done everything we wanted to do. We are homebodies and don’t feel the need to party or go out and are settled down.
We have been talking about starting our family for a year and know we are ready. I want to have 2 or 3 children and be done at 30. We want to try for a baby now and my mother has figured it out. She thinks 24 years old is too young to be a mother, but we don't. She said I should wait until I am 28 and I am giving up my youth at my age. I think she is bitter because she got pregnant at 18 (dating my father for a YEAR) and divorced at 24. We are trying anyways because its what WE want.
Will her attitude change? Do YOU think 24 is young to have your first baby?
2006-10-09 07:14:41 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
When you bring a child into this world is a very personal decision..You appear to be able to make responsible decisions from what you describe.
Your mother is responding from her experience. She doesn't get that already you have avoided making her mistakes.
She's coming from a place of hurt and still trying to protect you the only way she knows how. Reassure her that your marraige is secure and that you have made decisions that won't hurt you the way she got hurt.
Remember this is your child's grandmother. She will adore your children. She only wants what's best and speaks from a broken heart. Tell her it will be ok.
2006-10-09 07:24:41 · answer #1 · answered by Sunbaby 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would normally tell you that 24 is too young to have kids, but it doesn't seem so in your situation. It sounds like you've already lived a good life and you are ready. The best thing is that you got married and did not immediately get pregnant. You were able to enjoy married life without kids and now you can have kids without regrets. Just be prepared and make the decision that both you and your husband really want. Do not try pleasing others
2006-10-09 07:28:48 · answer #2 · answered by Erika M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sweetie, the first thing you need to remember, is that you are not your mother. you are a grown woman, who has obviously given this a lot of thought and consideration. You have been married for 2 years, and you sound like a mature person and yes, you ARE capable of making your own decisions. You cannot live by what your mom says you should and shouldn't do your whole life. and shame on her for butting in so harshly. She should be happy that she will be a grandma! good luck to you!
2006-10-09 07:22:43 · answer #3 · answered by mrs_eke 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel you are ready then you are. I am 29 and don't have children because I wasn't ready. So hopefully I will have them in my thirties. I finished college at 23 but then decided to go get a masters and I didn't get married till 27.
2006-10-10 03:58:01 · answer #4 · answered by Rhianna 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you are a grown woman and the decision is between you and your husband. It's not your mother's choice. If everything is set up and you and your husband feel ready, then go for it. No her attitude to probably will not change until the baby is here and then maybe not.
2006-10-09 07:19:05 · answer #5 · answered by kitcat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Too bad you told her ahead of time; it just prolongs the time she'll argue with her.
Tell her you and husband have to make your own decisions as you see best.
Refuse to discuss it further. "I understand you think it's a mistake, but we need to do what we think is right and I don't want to argue about it any more."
I think it's very likely she will come around once the baby's here. Few grands can resist for long.
Ordinarily, I'd say yes, 24 is young, but it's not like you're 14. Since you and hubby agree, and you're stable, go for it. (But don't discuss the decision with anyone who won't simply be happy for you.)
2006-10-09 10:17:36 · answer #6 · answered by tehabwa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if both you and your husband want a baby then why let your mom stand in your way? if you two have done everything you want to and are ready then go for it and tell your mom you are glad she is still concerned about you even now but you have your own life to live. good luck
2006-10-09 07:50:05 · answer #7 · answered by melanie s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you guys are ready so go for it! Do what you want to do and stick to your game plan. I'm 28 and married and we don't have kids yet because I'm not ready for it. But for each person it's different.
2006-10-09 07:16:57 · answer #8 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i had my daughter at 20. it was at the perfect time because it made me straighten my life out. children are wonderful. 24 is a good time to have kids. and the fact that you like to stay home is even better because you will be able to always be there for your child/children. good luck.
2006-10-09 07:17:40 · answer #9 · answered by Niki 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hell no! lol...i'm w/ u all da way if u wanna try for a baby...u may b rite abt ur mom being bitter as things didn't turn out her way...try talkin to her to make her understand... but go ahead w/ ur plans n prove to her tt u enjoy the best of both worlds yea? the joy of motherhood n etc... once she sees how much fun ur havin, she'll leave u alone...hopefully..lol... Good Luck.. :)
2006-10-09 07:21:58 · answer #10 · answered by risky_1986 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋