What's wrong with me?

Question

I am having a difficult time when my husband goes to work. I'm a stay at home mom of three children ages 8, 5 and 13 months. I'm having panic attacks, feeling worthless and hopeless, I think people are judging me. When I'm with my husband almost all of this goes away and when he's at work I'm on the verge of crying and I feel like I'm losing it, like I'm having a breakdown. I don't have health insurance so I haven't sought professional help. I don't want my husband or anyone else to think I'm a freak. I don't want to live like this anymore, it's hurting my family. Helpful addvice will be appreciated!

Answer 1

This is depression. Very mild, but if you don't do something, it will get worse. This same thing happened to me.
Before you seek therapy, seek people.
Always walk with your head up and sholders back, it improves self esteem and confidence. Meet people's eyes. Watch them, they aren't judging you, they have 1000 other things on their minds and are just observing their surroundings, like you are.
Go to the mall. Go to Church functions. A lot of them have groups like "Mommy's Brunch" or something.
Volunteer. At the kid's school, or an animal shelter, or an old folks home.
Find out what's going on in your neighborhood and get involved.
Start a project. Like painting a room or making a slipcover for the couch.
Take up a hobby. Scrapbook all the photos you have. Paint. Not a Rembrant, just swirl the colors together, it's fun. Beading is popular right now, you could take a class.
Most cities have a Parks and Recreation department, look up their classes. They are fun and cheap.
Read "Natural Cures They Don't Want You To Know About", you will be shocked and amazed how it can help you.
You aren't crazy, you aren't a freak, you just need to get out more.
Good Luck and email me anytime, we can chat.

EDIT
Don't be so quick to jump on the medicine train. Those drugs can be dangerous and don't work. Read "Natural Cures" for more information about this.

Answer 2

Dear Jessica, you are not a freak. You need some 'me' time. Looking after three small children is stressfull. Don't invest all of yourself in your husband. Do you have friends? Other family you can talk to? You are clearly suffering from a mild depression, so you must force yourself to get out at least once a day for a walk, say to the park if there is one near you. Invite other Mums round for a chat. You will find you are not alone. Develop some interesting hobbies. At weekends, ask your husband to look after the children for a couple of hours and go to the beauty shop and have your nails and face done. Or treat yourself to a shopping trip. This may seem trivial nonsense but all these things help to improve self-esteem.
Make sure you eat properly. Get plenty of sleep. Take care of yourself.

Answer 3

You have a responsibility to your 3 children to take care of their mom. Call your local helpline that would deal with these situations and see what they say. Can someone baby sit the kids for a weekend (or a week) so you and your husband can get away or maybe you can get away by yourself and go visit some family. To be so dependent on your husband's presence to feel good about yourself is not healthy for you. If you can afford it, go to a doctor and try using some anti depressants until you are back on your feet.

Answer 4

There are lots of folks out there with your same problem. Do not feel that you are a freak. You are not. You have been doing this same job for over eight years, with no vacation, no days off, no holidays, just over 3000 straight work days of carrier domestic servant for your family. I'll bet you work more than 16 hours a day too. That means your work week so far is 54000 hours.

Sweetie, you need a vacation. Not your family. Not your kids. Not your husband. Just you. Book yourself a trip to the beach or the mountains or go to Europe. And be gone a month. Your husband can take off that long and see his mum with the kids. She would love it.

I do hope you feel better soon.

Best regards
Jon

Answer 5

Could be stress related, try taking some time out for just you and your husband without the kids. It is very hard work being a 24/7 mom. You may feel a sense of relief when he is home to have help with the kids. Also make time for yourself every day even if it is only 15 minutes, take a nice bubble bath or something else you find relaxing.

Answer 6

It sounds like anxiety and panic attacks all right.
They are very common,my mother had them.If you can possibly do so,see a doctor and tell him your symptoms.
If it is too costly try to go to a community clinic.
The meds and doctor visits can break the bank,so hold down your pride:find some way to help pay for it.
You may qualify for free treatment and meds.Do not let this ruin your life,get medical help.
The symptoms only get worse:with or without meds:it is a constant fight.
Meds will really bring it under control though.And they will probably inch upwards over time.
Don't worry about that,you are under a lot of stress and you are having trouble with it.
It happens all the time.
I have manic-depression and it drives me into the ground sometimes,with or without meds.
The meds allow me to remain sane and able to get over the episode.
I think that I would be dead without them from suicide.
I worried and fretted and it wore something out.There is something there that no longer puts out any juice:so I have to medicate.

Answer 7

Do you have a Crisis Line? Where I'm at, it's a free phone call, staffed with mental health professionals on the other end. You can call 24x7 and sometimes just talking to someone will make you feel better.
I don't think you're crazy or "need your head examined", I think you're stressed out and with 3 little kids, who wouldn't be!!
Look in the front of your phone book, there's gotta be some sort of 24 hour "call someone" number in those pages.
Good luck.
And, PS, have you talked to your hubby about this? It might help just to let him know what you're going thru.

Answer 8

You need to tell your husband how you are feeling, and he shouldn't think you are a freak. This could be anything from simple anxiety to stress to depression. Counseling could help or you can talk to your doctor about some mild anti-depressants. I take Lexapro for depression as well as panic attacks. It's a low does and works really well, and I don't have any side effects other than mild drowsiness.

Answer 9

your definitly not alone im almost 20,ive been suffering the same way,i would beg my fiance to stay home cause i was scared to be alone,i was constantly thinking i was gonna die or something would happen to me if he left,it sounds as if your having problems anxiety also,do you ever feel intense,worry,fear driven,sweaty palms,racing heartbeat,lightheadedness,feel as if your going crazy,i do all the time,i learned i had a problem with anxiety from repeated visits to the hospital,the doctors thought i was crazy,my method im trying is no caffeine,or alot of sugar it helps but not all the way,im pregnant now and in seeking for help too, good luck hun,email me if you need help any further iknow what your going through
melissa benefield [e-mail]

Answer 10

Ur probably suffering from post partum depression and u need to get help asap. u have 3 kids to live for! PPD is real and u need to seek professional help or it will only get worse. try looking for websites that will point u in the right direction for free mental health care...hope this helps.