He has done his two day "disappearing act" twice, and come up with legit, but in my opinion, lame excuses. I'm also starting to notice things that are beginning to happen, and feel taken for granted. Family and friends love him, so that is also playing a part in my hesitance to just end it. I just felt that maybe it would be best to stop things now, before we get in any deeper....but then, when I hear other people's opinion of him, I start thinking well maybe it's me...but these people have only met him a few times...they see the glory, but they don't know the story. I know that you're never going to be happy 100% of the time in a relationship, so when is it better to stick with a relationship and hang in there and tough it out? Is it the coward's way out to give up so quickly?
2006-10-09 05:37:23 · 17 answers · asked by LibraT 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Trust your gut, no matter if your family and friends like him. It's easy for him to show a good side to people he doesn't see as often as he sees you.
The 'disappearing act' is a serious red flag to odd behavior and more to come if you are accepting of it and the excuses. I'd also be wondering if he was hiding some type of drug addiction as this is common and they are MASTERS at lying and manipulation.
Oh, yea, one more thing, don't ever 'settle' in a relationship because you feel that you can never be 100% happy. That's a lame *** excuse for people who don't know what they want, or think they aren't worth being treated properly. As a woman who is VERY happily married to a man I AM 100% happy with, I can tell you that it can and does happen when you are true to yourself and are realistic about what and how you deserve to be treated.
Trust and respect are #1. Trust and respect yourself, and expect the same from others who are fortunate enough to be with you. If they feel it, they will SHOW it. Don't lower yourself to putting up with the lame behavior and excuses.
Best to you!
2006-10-09 05:50:42 · answer #1 · answered by Dragonfly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depending on the situation depends on the actions that should be taken. Is he not coming home because of work or was he just out with friends? Dont let other people influence your decisions because you are the one in the relationship not them. And you are right it is impossible to be happy 100% of the time when you are in a relationship. You just have to ask yourself what you are willing to tolerate and not tolerate. I dont have a specific answer for you but to tell you that this decision has to be your own. If you feel you are being taken for granted then talk to him and tell him that you dont feel he is in the relationship the same way you are and you would like to know where he sees you guys in say 3 years from now. I hope this help and I am sorry if it doesnt. Good Luck
2006-10-09 05:46:23 · answer #2 · answered by pregojess 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried really sitting down & talking to him about how you feel like he's taking you for granted. Maybe he doesn't even realize he's doing it. As far as the 2 day disappearance, what's that about? Do you suspect he's cheating?
If you're not happy honey - walk away. Your friends and family ultimate worry is to know that you're happy - true? They don't see everything that's going on with him, believe me. You're the one who lives in the relationship..and more than anything you have the right to be happy.
No, nobody is always 100% happy in ANY relationship, that's true..but sometimes it's better just to walk away. Only you can decide if that time has come - don't let your friends and family influence that decision - what if they'd never met him - what would you do then? Would you leave then? If your answer to that is yes - then my dear, you have your answer...
I wish you the best of luck and remember - don't ever compromise your happiness for ANYONE...
Gentle hugs, Marilyn
2006-10-09 05:44:59 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Disappearing for two days is a deal breaker. Nothing good can come out of it. Other people dont know him like you do. What they think should not matter. Yes its true that you cant be happy 100% of the time but that doesn't mean he can disappear for two days and its ok. Whatever he's doing when away cant be good for you. This is a relationship you shouldn't hold on to. Your gut is telling you to move on and that's exactly what you should do. If you dont more time will be wasted and you will look back and wish you had left sooner. He already did it twice. I'm sure the 3rd time is just around the corner.
2006-10-09 05:43:11 · answer #4 · answered by JustMe 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What other people think of him is not important. How you feel and think is.
They only see the good face that he shows them
His lame excuses and vanishing act should not be tolerated by you.
You will start seeing more things happen if it continues.
It is time for him to disappear from your life permanently.
Find someone who will want to be with you and not a magician.
It is not a cowardly act to want something better.
It would be sticking your head in the sand and doing nothing that would be thought of as being cowardly.
2006-10-09 05:49:29 · answer #5 · answered by Mark 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've said it before to others and to you now too, women's intuition it is for real and you have it! It sounds like you already know what's up but you are letting other people tell you different so it is confusing you.....don't listen to others are they sitting at home with you while you wonder where he is during one of his disappearing acts????Probably not. Are they feeling as deserted as you when he is nowhere to be found????Probably not! If you feel that there is a problem then you need to confront him. I'm not telling you to end it, but if you feel that you are being betrayed then you need to do something about it, not just keep talking to what sounds like BIAS others that have only seen him at his best, like when he first met him as was kissing their A** because they are your friends. I say keep it real and confront him, I don't care if it was a month ago the first time it happened, it is still bothering you so it is still an issue to you and needs to be resolved. Good luck!
2006-10-09 05:45:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had a man that my family adored, but he was a total jerk. Problem was, my family never observed him being a jerk. They got the good side of him. If your man disappears for two days, and this is the second time, I really would check his alibi. It doesn't make sense that he is a no show twice, and for two days straight. You need to do some research. Don't worry about family and friends, they will always be there for you. It's you who has to be with this man. Do research and you will find your answer there. Good luck.
2006-10-09 05:56:44 · answer #7 · answered by cookie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sex, Sex, & more Sex.. you need to add more sex and get freaky with him! He will not be leaving you for 2 days if "you" are where it is happening at.
Also maybe try to go out with him and check girls out with him.. get a little bi-sexual to turn your man on and get his attention .. if he thinks the candy jar is open with unlimited possibilities he will only be visiting your candy shop.. again, again & again! Then there is also no reason for him not to trust you with his desires for other women if you both can just have fun with it. Note this does not work if you are a jealous sort of woman and cannot spearate just sex from love/ emotions. Let's face it most men are sex driven. So get in the car and drive instead of being in the back seat or being left to the curb side. If you love your man just do it!
Ohhh and stay away from playing with girls that also do not know how to spearate sex from emotions / love in your adventures!
Be Safe & Sane!
2006-10-09 05:46:14 · answer #8 · answered by hotredhead2655 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Depends on how long you have been together...
If you just started dating and he is doing this I think you should get out. He is sending Red flags all over the place.
2006-10-09 05:44:37 · answer #9 · answered by Ellyn 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Disappearing acts? You have to be more specific. I guess it all depends on what YOU want. Who cares what anyone else thinks. You have to be the one to live with your decisions! Good luck =)
2006-10-09 05:40:53 · answer #10 · answered by Pimp E 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋