My ex husband is the father of both of my daughters. We have been divorced for more than two years. In that amount of time, he has gotten behind in child support by $14,000. Through all of that, I never denied him his children. He was allowed to pick them up from school, take them places and spend as much time with them as he wanted. He also never worked. His mother supported him by paying ALL of his bills and giving him spending money. Enough for him to have a wardrobe entirely of "Lucky" brand clothing and 4 BRAND NEW trucks in the 2 years. I on the other hand, live from paycheck to paycheck - often times telling my children that we can't go here or do that because money is too tight. I finally had enough of me doing with out and filed with the OAG fro back child support. Lo and behold he got a job and now they are taking almost 50% of his check. My problem is that now he never wants to see the girls as punishment to me for filing? What can I do to make him want to see the girls?
2006-10-09 05:30:18 · 19 answers · asked by babe 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Well you can't make him see them... However, you can go back to court and request additional money for non participation. Every father is given a child support credit fro regularly exercising his visitation rights. Those credits can be withdrawn if he is not participating. You can also ask the judge to order parenting classes for your ex. It is an educational class that benefits children of divorced parents. I will still have your girls call their father a few times a week. If they must leave a message then by all means do, let their dad know that they love and miss him. Keep the lines of communication open with both their father and his family. If there are any family events with your ex's family make sure to keep the girls involved. With time he will come around.
I know what you are going through, I went through the same thing. I still can't figure out why my ex wants to blame me for being so far behind and punish our children for it?
Best of luck to you and your girls.
2006-10-09 05:33:06 · answer #1 · answered by shughes2000_2000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a loser for an ex. You can't force him to take part in your children's life. To punish a child because you have been court order to pay child support is shameful. The lose is solely his. You now have to focus on what is in the best interest of your children. Make sure their health and safety come first! It he chooses to go this route continue to live your life as a good role model. Forcing a man to his children isn't going to work. He is a grown man and obviously you divorced him for a reason.
2006-10-09 05:55:37 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he's punishing himself enough by not seeing them.....he's only hurting himself.
I do feel sorry for your girls....I don't know what I would say to them other than just be honest with them and tell them what you had to do. It takes two incomes now a days to make ends meet.
I'm so sorry that he is hurting your girls this way.....but he thinks he's "punishing" you through them....in the long run he'll see that he's being very childish and not a very good dad....
You sound like a wonderful Mother, just continue being strong for your kids...they are the most important thing.
2006-10-09 05:35:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im dealing with a difficulty now with a ineffective beat dad. i'm 5 weeks pregnant and he doesnt prefer to take heed to something concerning the toddler he deosnt want me to even have it. So a ineffective beat dad is somebody who isnt taking care of their accountability. they don't look to be adult males and at last will locate out that their lacking out on some thing particular. If that newborn doesnt see the dad a minimum of two times a week thats a ineffective beat dad to me. If hee doesnt enable his self be customary to the newborn and tutor the newborn love and enable them to renowned that they're going to continuously be there for them and don't manage the mummy incorrect in the technique then hes a stable dad. Take heed.
2016-10-19 02:12:05 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just like everyone else has said here, you can NOT make him WANT to see the children and it is definitly his loss. All you can do is continue to allow your children to call him on the phone and ask to see him. And if they are already taking 50% of his paycheck, you can't get any more money to compensate for that. You were right to get the support for your children. He has a responsibility to them.
2006-10-10 04:15:29 · answer #5 · answered by loving mom 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't. As an attorney working in family law, I have seen enough of this irresponsible behavior to know what kind of character traits you are dealing with. He has been irresponsibly enabled all of his life and you are not going to change that. He has to grow up and realize his own immature behavior is unacceptable.
It sounds like you have taken the upper road in this matter and you did the right thing to file with the Office of the Attorney General. This is not going to be an easy time for you. You are going to be putting up with his continued bad behavior for many years yet.
Good luck to you and best wishes.
2006-10-09 06:12:30 · answer #6 · answered by rac 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's his loss, and it is called emotional abuse to you and your daughters. eventually your daughters will understand that HE made the choice not to see them. I say keep forward and just explain to your girls what is going on. He can be upset all he wants. Let him throw his temper tantrums, immature men do that you know. If and when he wants to see the girls, let him. Don't give him a hard time. Your daughters will see you as the good, mature person that you are. Children are very smart and they pick up on everything. I wouldn't be surprised if they decided on their own not to see him anymore. Peace.
2006-10-09 05:46:19 · answer #7 · answered by wonderwoman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If money and felleing towards the children are connected by him, you're better off without his influence on the girls. Why have his negative feeling towards you, be reflected upon them every time he's with them? Continue bringing up your girls the best way that you can, and eventually, he'll relent and want to see them again. He's just mad, and it's the only way that he can tink of to get at YOU!
2006-10-09 05:34:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, this is a tough question. You or your children might benefit from some open communication regarding the need for him to keep a relationship with his children. Maybe he is hurt temporarily or feels this is unfair or is trying to get retribution.
Maybe the children should write a letter that they want to see their dad.
How do the children feel about it. Are tehey old enough to express this?
2006-10-09 05:32:45 · answer #9 · answered by julie l 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can never make someone do what they dont want to do because they rebel even more-that is human nature. i am sorry to hear about your situation but he got himself in it first of all since he did not pay childfare and now since he has all these nice things in his life that he is accustomed to, he does not want to split the money with you since he is used not to pay for your kids child support. it is his loss that he is being stubborn and that he will miss out on their lives since he is acting so childish! you cannot make him do anything to see his daughters, he has to want that and not you wanting him to want to do it. it might be hard with no dad in your girls lives but he finally has a job,and you can pay for the things that you could not before. if he does not understand that maybe he is not man enough nor mature enough. sorry that you had to hear that from me!
2006-10-09 05:44:51 · answer #10 · answered by icycrissy27blue 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋