He says he loves me. I have been staying with him for over a year now and recently my two sons 14,17 have had to stay with me almost all the time. I am looking for my own place now , as we, Brandon and I have been living in an apartment while going thru divorces.(divorces already in progress before we met) I ended up needing to stay with him and now he is buying a condo and I am looking for an apartment. He told me he does not want to live with my kids. He said that possibly , when he gets his own place and I or my kids aren't there, his kids, 14, 21, will want to come to his place more often. He said right now he wants us to still date . He doesn't want to see anyone else and hopes that I won't. He said right now he is not ready to live with me and my family. I love Brandon very much. He recently told me he felt like I was using him because he has always paid for everything. He makes alot more money than I. I never asked him to do that or expected it.
2006-10-09 05:13:48 · 6 answers · asked by crazartgirl 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If he still wants to be with you, then continue the relationship with him. Don't live with him, maybe he's not ready for that yet. Try not to let him pay for anything, and perhaps you should take him out a few times, suprise him with a gift or something. Don't press this issue about living with him, or I fear you could lose him. He's telling you he needs his space, respect that, and accept it.
2006-10-09 05:18:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Finish up your divorces. That's best. You both have teens that need your guidance, time.
If you have spare time to be together, I dont see why any money has to be spent between the two of you except for gas. Watch a movie together, take walks together and enjoy each other. Save your money cuz youre gonna need it adjusting to the divorces. Dont make your lives overly complicated until the divorces are all done complete final loose ends all ties up.
It was shocking for him to say the thing about you using him, but maybe he's not too tactful and realize it's just one of those things you need to learn about each other prior to marriage or moving in together. Take it slow, simple. That's better.
2006-10-09 12:27:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, stay with him. If he isn't ready to live together than don't force it. You could lose him if you fight him on it or bother him about it. I mean, maybe it's for the better that you two live on your own. If he wasn't ready to live together yet you did, you could lose him for good. And about him saying that you only are using him, prove to him your not. Show him you can survive on your own without him. Get your own apartment and don't ask him for help. No offense, maybe one of the reasons y you stayed with him was because he did pay for everything. I mean, I am sure you love him but there is a part of you that loves the fact he pays for everything. Its not wrong, it is a common feeling. But, show him that you do love him and don't need his money, but his love!
2006-10-09 12:22:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take it slow with this guy. It sounds like he cares for you very much but since you both have kids you have alot of responsibilities to them first. Blending 2 families together can be tough and I think he's being smart about taking it slow and making sure his kids have a place to feel like home with him.Be patient and be glad that he has taken responsibility for his children. The 2 of you can work through this together if you're willing to be patient with him.
2006-10-09 12:20:22 · answer #4 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say he's just not ready to be back in a full relationship. If you love him keep him around and see what happens, he may just be confused since his divorce is being finalized, I'm guessing he still has mixed feelings about his ex
2006-10-09 12:19:40 · answer #5 · answered by Beeper 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like he was honest with you in telling his feelings. a long thought process is just for this situation
2006-10-09 12:18:04 · answer #6 · answered by ImSpoilednLoveit 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋