My husband and I are station in Japan, and we are expecting our second child anyday. 7 months ago my mom and sister planned on coming over here to see the birth of the baby, so for the past 7 months they told me they had their passports and plane tickets ready. So as the day arrives I called them and asked if they were still coming and they said yes, so they were suppose to arrive at the airport yesterday and we were waiting for a call to pick them up and I never recieved a call so I decided to call my mom house and to my surprise they never left and didnt even call me to let me know and the only thing they said was "oh we decided not to come again" and later my fater told me they never even bought a ticket or passport because they waited to long. Im upset because they should of called to let me know they were not coming and because they lied the whole time but they say Im being selfish. Am I wrong for being mad?
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2006-10-09 04:55:04 · 34 answers · asked by marine_wife001 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
No you have every right to be Angry, & disappointed. Your Mom & Sister are displaying classic signs of narcissistic behaviour. To demonstrate absolutely no consideration for your feelings, & then to turn around & blame you for being selfish, is waaaayyy over the top. I am sure that if you asked them why they lied, that they would tell you that they were putting your feelings 1st, when actually they were only thinking of themselves the whole time, by sparing themselves the embarrasment of revealing that they are procrastinators at their worst.
So they have taught you a very valuable lesson. Obviously you can't count on them to be there for anything that's important.
My best advice to you is to put them out of your mind, so that they can no longer hurt you.
Congratulations in advance on the birth of your new baby. I hope it will be healthy & you & your husband will find all of the joy & happiness this time in your lives will bring.
2006-10-09 05:09:52 · answer #1 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO!!! You have every right in the world to be mad. I would think there was something wrong with you if you weren't. It doesn't matter how they feel about your behavior. What's in question is theirs. In your condition it probably would have been better to have just left you alone as apposed to getting your hopes up when you already have enough on your plate.
Not considering the heresy from your father, it would be best for you to talk to your mother and see exactly what she was thinking. I'm only allowing the benefit of the doubt because she's your mother, but if this would have been a friend, we wouldn't be friends any longer.
Sorry about they crap. It's not fair. Good luck on your new addition.
2006-10-09 05:08:09 · answer #2 · answered by Hacksaw 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Heck no, you're not wrong! As your family, you had a right to expect honesty from them at the very least. To not even call and tell you they weren't coming was a low-down thing to do. Let them know you're angry, but do it with class- you sound like you have lots more of it than they do. Good luck, and hope everything goes great with your little one. Don't forget, THEY are the ones missing out on the miracle of birth.
2006-10-09 05:00:54 · answer #3 · answered by justfeelingfroggy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do understand you are upset with your family. Try to forgive them. It was wrong for them to lead you to believe they were coming when they did not even have the tickets. Remember they are your family and regardless of what they have done try to make things better. Good luck with the new baby! At least they can still be there by telephone or email. I'm sure they will try to make a trip up soon!
2006-10-09 05:14:01 · answer #4 · answered by Nicole M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, and I "totally" understand "why." But try really hard not to stay that way, okay? Because right now, you have
something more wonderful and precious to think about!
Acknowledge that their behavior did indeed upset you, and "why" it upset you, and then move on, because you know that dwelling on it, won't change or undo it, okay? And put all your energy into your family and the love you have for "them." Obviously you have a very dear sensitive heart that time will heal. Good luck
2006-10-09 05:25:50 · answer #5 · answered by Republican!!! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you have a right to your feelings: emotions aren't "right" or "wrong" - you can't help the way you feel or turn emotion on or off.
In your position, I think I would feel beyond mad - it sounds like they've done this to you before! Why do they lie to you about coming? It's hard to trust someone when they continue lying to you!
I hate to suggest to anybody that they sever family ties, but this might be one of those times when you need some emotional distance from them. Clearly, they're not adding to the "value" of your life at this point. Nobody can hurt you - or disappoint you - like family.
2006-10-09 05:03:24 · answer #6 · answered by 40yomama 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not wrong for being angry but you should be angrier for being so naive! People don't do **** like that on the spur of the moment. There had to have been a pattern that could have warned you of their intentions. Read a little deeper into the conduct of the people you know have pulled this stuff before!
2006-10-09 05:02:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes! that was just a very inconsiderate action expected from your family given the fact that you are 7 months pregnant, or even if you aren't! they could've contacted you even a day before their supposed-to-be-arrival.
just the same, try to talk to them like an adult and let them know how you really feel just to avoid any possible miscommunication. they may be that insensitive but they're still your family.
goodluck with your pregnancy and don't get too stressed with what happened as it may have any effect in your emotional health.
2006-10-09 05:01:03 · answer #8 · answered by kamahalan_12 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you have every right to feel hurt and angry.however it is neither a healthy or positive emotion.Concentrate on the blessed
oncoming birth of your second child. Your M other and Sister may
have things going on in their lives that they don't want to disclose. But there is no excuse that they can offer to make up for not telling you the truth. My sincere best wishes to you and your blessed new member of your family.Try to forgive them and 'GOD" bless .
2006-10-09 05:18:59 · answer #9 · answered by bernice l 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being angy will only hurt you in the end. Perhaps there is a good reason they did not come. Let the anger go and enjoy the new being that has been added to your family.
Good luck to all of you.
2006-10-09 05:00:24 · answer #10 · answered by doicu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋