Who came up with eternal Virgins in Heaven for murdering people?

Answer 1

Since God created everything. He created the houris (dark-eyed maidens, virgins) too.

There are verses in the Qur'an that describe the houris (dark-eyed maidens, virgins) in Jannah (heaven.) The angel Jibril ((Gabriel) dictated the Qur'an to Muhammad.

I like Larry's poem. Here are some light-hearted questions about the houris (virgins).

72 Questions on the 72 Virgins

By Martin M. Bodek
http://www.martinbodek.com/

Muslim fundamentalists believe that a "martyr" (shaheed) who dies while fighting in the holy war against the infidels (jihad) goes to paradise where he is given 72 beautiful virgins for wives plus a number of never aging boys for slaves (apparently, pedophilia is allowed in paradise as well as slavery and polygamy). This is the eternal bliss that the suicidal Islamic terrorists crave. In an interesting twist, if a woman dies as a martyr, she is rewarded with only one husband since women are supposed to stay monogamous even in heaven -- according to the same Islamic doctrine.

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1) What if the bomber wants girls with more experience?
2) What if one virgin is no good in bed? Does she get replaced or is he stuck with 71?
3) If he's gay, does he get male virgins?
4) What if he's celibate? What does he get?
5) What if he hasn't reached puberty yet? Does he get 72 Xboxes till he comes of age?
6) If he's bi, does he get 36 of each?
7) If he blows himself up while building the bomb, does he still get credit?
8) What do you call a relationship with 72 women, a menage-a-soixante-douze?
9) Are they like 72 wives or 1 wife and 71 concubines?
10) What if he's ugly or smells bad and the virgins don't want anything to do with him?
11) Is there viagra in paradise? Ya know, just in case?
12) Is there an age of consent?
13) When they're deflowered, do they get replaced by new virgins or are they "born again"?
14) Do they become his common-law wives eventually?
15) If he has a tryst with a 73rd virgin, do the others consider it cheating?
16) Do the virgins have a union? If so, can they strike if they're not satisfied?
17) Is there a temp agency that replaces virgins if they call in sick?
18) What if the bomber's into animals? Does he get accommodated?
19) Why 72? Is 71 too few? Is 73 too many?
20) If it was a female bomber, how do the male virgins prove their virginity?
21) What happens when paradise runs out of virgins?
22) Can a bomber make reservations on specific virgins before he blows himself up?
23) If there are no virgins available, is he put on a waiting list?
24) If he's a catholic priest, does he get 72 little boys?
25) Would you call a female bomber a bombshell?
26) Would you call a child bomber a bombino?
27) Is it not 73 out of respect for Barry Bond's home run record?
28) If the bomber previously dated one of the virgins, does it get awkward?
29) Do they have a bomb squad in paradise just in case one of the charges didn't go off?
30) Did they start using female bombers because they ran out of virgins for the guys?
31) If she's a lesbian, do they "convert" the virgins, or will straight girls suffice her?
32) Does a hermaphrodite bomber get hermaphrodite virgins?
33) If so, are there 72 available?
34) If they run out of virgins, do they get inflatable dolls till they find more?
35) If a bomber finds an infidel in paradise, can he blow him up and get 72 more virgins?
36) Could the Koran have had a typo and it actually provided just one 72 year old virgin?
37) Is Muslim hell being one of the 72 virgins?
38) Instead of 72 guys, would a female bomber settle for 1 man who does dishes and garbage?
39) Do the bombers go broke on Valentine's Day?
40) If he's monogamous, does he pick one of the 72 or does he get a supermodel?
41) What if he doesn't like either gender? Does he just klutz around in paradise?
42) Eternity is long, and eventually he'll grow bored of his 72 women. What happens then?
43) How does he pick the 72 to begin with? Lottery? Beauty pageant? Police lineup?
44) Is he allowed to covet his neighbor's virgins?
45) Do the virgins have agents and/or contracts?
46) If so, can a virgin request to be traded or put on waivers if she's unhappy?
47) What should he say if one of the virgins asks "Does this Burka make me look fat?"
48) If he gives the wrong answer, is he uh, screwed?
49) How is anyone expected to handle a catfight amongst 72 women?
50) Did the 9/11 hijackers who didn't know they were going to die get 72 virgins too?
51) Are scouts employed to find virgin talent?
52) Do the virgins ever retire, or do they remain virgins forever?
53) If they retire, what kind of pension plan do they get?
54) Wouldn't it be interesting if they're virgins because they're ugly?
55) So is it 72 Muslim girls or like 1 virgin from every culture?
56) Wouldn't it be sweet if Lorena Bobbit got hired as one of the virgins?
57) What does Gloria Steinem have to say about all this?
58) When he gets home, does he have to say "How was your day?" to all 72 virgins?
59) Do they have counseling for sexual addiction in paradise?
60) If the virgins start hogging the remote, is he in hell?
61) They must take up an entire theater when they go to the movies, huh?
62) Are there restaurants in paradise that can accommodate a reservation for 73?
63) If a virgin suffers from multiple personalities, is she considered two virgins?
64) Does he get all the virgins at once, or do they have an installment plan?
65) Is the bomber entitled to subsitutes, exchanges, or refunds?
66) What if all the king's horses and all the king's men can't put the bomber together again?
67) Is "not tonight, dear, I have a headache" a valid excuse in paradise?
68) Do the virgins come with a warranty?
69) If so, does paradise replace defective parts and provide on-site service?
70) What do you call a lifetime warranty if you're dead?
71) Do siamese twin bombers get 144 virgins?
72) Who gets to clean up all those nasty sheets?

Answer 2

Who knows? God help him/her! Probably a him.
A Muslim's Midnight Dream

70 virgins, eternal bliss.
Who could ask for more than this?
70 virgins, I can't wait
to get through that pearly gate.
70 virgins up in the air
Oh, what joy awaits me there?
70 virgins all for me
Only for my eyes to see.
70 virgins all in a row
With all their beauty to show.
70 virgins for my delight
Which one should I choose tonight?
70 virgins, what a thrill
How many people do I have to kill?
70 virgins? Are you sure?
How did they all stay so pure?
Wait! Sex throughout eternity?
Isn't that all about me?
I know I'm a pretty good man
But 70 virgins might get out of hand.
70 virgins, without a doubt
would surely come to wear me out.
I'm confused! What is eternity for?
Surely there is something more.
70 virgins, eternity long?
I'm unsure if it's right or wrong.
70 virgins, all are mine?
Surely one would have done just fine.
70 virgins up on high
70 virgins in the sky
The trouble is, I must die
To see if it's all a big fat lie.
Now I'm really beginning to doubt
but I'll have to die to find out.
Whoa! This midnight dream I am aware
Has become a big nightmare.
One more question, the Muslim female?
Do they have to spend eternity in hell?

Answer 3

Oh are they eternal Virgins? I thought they just got 70 and then once they deflowered them all they were just left with 70 nagging jealous wives? I thought that was the punishment.

Well at any rate I think that most of us know that people who murder people so they can have sex with 70 virgins are burning in hell.

Answer 4

Since Islam supresses their people towards sex, they feel they have to equal the US's freedom of sex by exploiting it and being that much better. It's like asking a virgin man how many women he would sleep with, sure he will take 4,5,6 and more, could you image the hornieness that built up throughout the years. Less experience=more craziness.

Answer 5

it is human nature to put man and the comfort of man in the center of heaven, and almost act like heaven is a 5 star hotel for our convenience?????? but the centerpiece so fheaven is rightly God and something to bring glory to God

just as there is one marriage in the garden of eden there is one marriage in heaven, not sexual, but sex give us a glipse of the wonderful relationships in heaven that will be even better

God made Adams wife out of his wounded side from his rib and it is a picure of the redeemed being made out of the wounded side of Jesus on the cross

there is only one more than a marriage in heaven, that marriage
is between Jesus and the Bride of Christ the redeemed and sexuality is a mere glipse of the relationship of pease well being and glory as God is worshiped and better known into the ages of the ages

Gods glory and the desire of man meet wonderfully in the redemtion in Jesus Christ... and puts God in the center of salvation and heaven... not mere man

Answer 6

Muhammad

Answer 7

Some uneducated stupid people. Don't blame any religion for this because God never write such thinks.. Always men creates what ever he like by God's name for own purpose.

Answer 8

Islam is a bunch of twisted Christian Bible stories and Christian, Pagan, and Jewish Folklore all twisted by a madman.

Answer 9

A man, of course.

Answer 10

I wish I was still a virgin.
But I don't know, sorry I can't help.