OK- I know this sounds completely horrible but we are getting so tight on our budget.... And the wedding is 1-2 hours from our house.. we live in Philly and are getting married in NJ where are families are from. Our home is too far to have anyone over... We are paying for our wedding including the rehearsal dinner. We have 6 bridesmaids and 6 groomsmen plus 1 speaker.... so you figure we have to feed- 28 people. His family has yet to lift a finger to help me... so I don't think they will offer their homes for the rehearsal dinner or any money. Do I have to invite his parents to the rehearsal dinner?
I know they normally are invite but that's because they traditionally pay.
If you think I should invite them do you have any ideas how I can afford a nice dinner that will have to be held in a resturant since no one will offer their home to us? My mother is a No as well but that's because she has a dog recuse center in her house right now...
2006-10-09 04:11:37 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I guess I should mention my groom doesn't care if we invite them. He actually wasn't raised by his mother or stepfather... he didn't meet them until he was 18 years old.
He has a good relationship with them now but it's nontraditional.
2006-10-09 04:19:22 · update #1
I say you invite them all... but you don't necessarily have to have it in a NICE restaurant. People have done clambakes or bbq's. Now I know you don't have a place for these things but think of the following- is there a favorite NON fancy place that is of meaning to you and your family or you and your fiancee'?
For instance I'm actually getting married 4 hours away from my family- my rehearsal dinner is at a sit down chinese restaurant- why? Because we love their crab rangoons and we rave about them to my family who has never had them. This is our way of getting them to eat the stuff we've raved about. The "brunch" the next day- PIZZA at a great place that's been around for generations that we ALWAYS have to stop at.
Think about your favorite- must have places. Make it fun and don't go nuts over it. If you're more relaxed about it- everyone else will like it and have a good time too.
2006-10-09 04:22:24 · answer #1 · answered by verduchiwedding 1 · 4⤊ 0⤋
You absolutely must invite the immediate family on both sides plus anyone in the wedding party and their spouses. It is also really nice if you invite any out of town guests who would have no other plans (like my aunt from another state who is single). Think about this--you are about to join this family the following day, and you aren't willing to spring for a MEAL for them? I'm sorry, but you are begging for bad blood over something like that. If you cannot afford the cost of 2 or 4 extra dinners at a rehearsal dinner, you have problems. Remember, you'll be getting cash gifts at the wedding. Can't you put it on a credit card temporarily? Why don't you book it at a place that's either in or near the hotel where you will all be staying or at a very casual neighborhood type of place and have a very casual menu. You know, neither family is obligated to pay for a thing-that is a generous gift many families are capable of offering, but it is not required, and really shouldn't be expected.
2006-10-09 04:20:43 · answer #2 · answered by melouofs 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your wedding sounds anything but traditional if his parents won't offer to pay for anything (especially the rehearsal dinner as it is technically THEIR responsibility).
In that case, you don't have to even hold a dinner. Let everyone know that you aren't having a full dinner but anyone that wants to head to the local pub for a celebration cocktail pre-wedding day can meet you there. Let guests pick up their own tab at the bar or for dinner or for appetizers.
We were married 18 months ago and paid for the entire wedding ourselves as well. When you are paying for the reception and everything else that goes into it, no one really expects you to pay for anything else. You might feel bad as the hostess but you shouldn't, it is YOUR wedding!
The only other possibility that I can think of would be to ask friends or other relatives that will be near by if you can use their home, backyard, etc. to host the event. Ask everyone to bring a dish to share and party the night away.
The whole point is to celebrate your upcoming nuptials, not feel like you have to feed Iraq and pay for it at the same time! : )
2006-10-09 04:23:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
leave it up to the groom, but be aware that these people may be around a long time and this is a bad time to start resentment. May I suggest a pizza party as the dinner. I am from a very large family, We reserve a room at a pizza place and order the pizza in advance. One with no meat and the others with variations. We have the place set them up buffet style with salad and canolis for desert and pitchurs of beer and coke and diet beverage. This is nopt very expensive. Under 300.00 with the tax and tip for 30 people
2006-10-09 04:24:06 · answer #4 · answered by nora7142@verizon.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We held our rehersal dinner at a pizza place because we are not super formal people and we wanted more of a relaxing night before the wedding than a formal event with lots of structure. This was more of a restaraunt/bar than just a take out pizza place. We had about 30 people...had about 8 pizzas, salads, pitchers of beer, and coke. We had a private room for the party. I think it ran us around $400 and that was about 7 years ago. It went well and was well-received.
Yes, the parents, immediate family, and wedding party should be there.
Has your groom to be asked his family for any help? If they come back and say that they can't because of their financial situation than that is something that you are going to have to respect.
2006-10-09 04:20:08 · answer #5 · answered by BAM 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
That note changes things. I would say that if he doens't consider them his true family then no, they don't need to be invited.
Even so, tradtionally, the groom's family takes care of the rehersal dinner. So you might want to touch on that with his father and step-mother (I assume.) and let them know that you could use a little help.
Also, the girl that suggested something relaxing like pizza makes a great point. No one said the meal had to be fancy. Do what you want. Have a fun and relaxing meal. I bet you all could go to Cici's Pizza for cheap ($5 each for all the salad, pizza, dessert they can eat).
2006-10-09 04:14:55 · answer #6 · answered by Laura 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You invite who you want to invite. Traditionally the wedding party, parents of bride and groom, and anyone coming in from out of town are invited.
But, since you say they are not paying, sounds like they've broke the tradition first. If the groom is cool with it, don't invite them.
2006-10-09 04:16:14 · answer #7 · answered by bill m 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Only the people that are in the wedding party. Such as bride, groom, parents of bride, parents of groom, grandparents of bride and groom etc, groomsmen, bridesmaid, matron of honor, maid of honor, clergy, flower girls, ring bearer, ushers, wedding coordinator, and any other guest that you might want to invite. But definitely the wedding party.
2006-10-09 04:15:20 · answer #8 · answered by kitcat 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
only purchase some thing which you will possibly placed directly to church on Sunday. you do not prefer to circulate to too lots rate for a gown you will purely placed on as quickly as. you're already doing that with a marriage gown. purchase some thing you are able to placed on back. you will possibly look on ebay, however. there are countless advantageous outfits on the industry on there and you will possibly get away with spending little or no money for precisely what you desire.
2016-10-19 02:06:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
unless you are gonna strictly take your bridesmaids and groomsmen and yoursleves out to dinner, then I would advise you to invite them, especially if your parents are invited. If you decide not to, I would definetly make your fiance handle them.
2006-10-09 04:14:40 · answer #10 · answered by ASH 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋