veing a baby girl they want to be involved in her life babysitting,being at the hospital etc.need i add my moms a pill head and my step dads a crack head and my real father a stoner that i havent seen since i was 12.
my husbands parents are the same his mom died and his dads a pedifile. so what do i do about my parents and finding decent grandparents for my soon to be daughter?
2006-10-09 04:08:55 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Break The CHAIN !!!!!!!!!!!! Wow... You probably have some issues of your own don't you? I mean how could you not! I don't know exactly what the right or wrong answer is, I could only tell you what I would do. I would move away from the whole bunch. You don't have to raise your child like that, you have choices & it sounds like you are smarter than all of them. If you do stay your child will be subjected to everything you were & only you know what it was like. The question is, is this what you want for your little girl? You said your mother "Is" a pill head, that means she hasn't changed at all, your step dad "Is" a crack head, your dad "Is" a stoner & OMG the Pedifile thing is unquestionably the bottom line!!!!!!! Get your baby out of there! I am not making fun of your family cause I have a few in mine that I don't go around nor do my children. It is sad indeed but A FACT. They don't care about themselves or even know how to so how could they possible distinguish from right & wrong when it comes to a small defenseless baby who is totally at everyone's mercy? I think you know what the answer is already thanks to your good sense. The world is tough enough without purposly subjecting anyone especially a baby to all that. Sometimes it would be better to have never known them. Lot's of kids don't have grandparents, it will hurt you most of all, no handy babysitter, you will definitely need a couple decent friends to help, maybe another couple with kids and you can switch off, make sure they aren't drug heads or pedifiles either!
This baby can't make decisions, YOU ARE ALL SHE HAS, you better protect her, it is all up to you till she is grown!
That thing about grandparents have rights too, is "COCCA-MAMMIE BULL CRAP", if they are unfit which I think you would have no problem proving, they do not have ANY RIGHTS! I'm sure you don't want to be like that though, everyone can be CIVIL! But you hold the power! And, will they even try to get involved if you were to move? You don't have to say anything ugly to hurt there feelings, just move and talk to your mom on the phone sometimes.
2006-10-09 04:11:58 · answer #1 · answered by char__c is a good cooker 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just want to say this about both you and your husband - WOW! You had it difficult, yet your head is on straight enough to know what's good for your daughter.
Is this the first grandchild on both sides? I agree with the others - your daughter should not be around these individuals, of if she is, for limited time with supervision.
Are there friends' parents out there? I thought there might even be an organization, sort of like Big Brothers/Big Sisters but Grandparents were matched. Check it out through United Way. Of course, I could have dreamed that up. (Hope not.)
Best to you and yours. Congratulations!
2006-10-09 04:26:47 · answer #2 · answered by Isthisnametaken2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Looks like you will just have to rely on friends...You may want to start looking into family type organizations to be around...they can be a wealth of information and guidance not only for your child, but for you.
You may know what sort of parent that you don't want to be, but you also have to know how to be the one that you would have liked to have.
It's not an easy task, and it starts before childbirth. They get here quicker than you think, and they don't offer you much of a vacation. On the otherhand, the job satisfaction is way beyond what you would get from a 9-5 job. Good Luck.
2006-10-09 04:19:38 · answer #3 · answered by Joe 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Biology does not entitle one to be a part of your life or your baby's life. You know in your heart that you and your husband can provide a wonderful life for your child WITHOUT the trauma and drama you both lived through. Surround yourself by good people. They do not have to be relatives. Make your own family.
When the hormones are running high before and after birth and you become insanely wishywashy (and we all do!) and vow to forgive and forget for the sake of your child, please try and remember what the destructive people did in your life. Make the vow to never let them damage your child's life.
Drop kick the negativity to the curb. Even if it means no grandparents. Alot of us grew up without them anyway, and we're just fine.
2006-10-09 04:22:56 · answer #4 · answered by iguana 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, you can't change your parents or your in laws no matter how awful they are, so you'll just have to put rules and set up some boundaries for them. Don't let anyone get in your home life or tell you what to do. If those people are really as you say, there's no way i would let them near my baby either (specially your father in law, whom you say is a pedofile!! is he in jail??) Be clear about what you want and express it in the best way possible. If you don't say anything they won't know you don't like them being close to you. Good luck hun.
2006-10-09 04:16:09 · answer #5 · answered by Baby Ruth habla español 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good luck in finding those grandparents and I would not allow your parents to be involved with your daughter. Good luck in finding grandparents sometimes a friends parents make good grandparents
2006-10-09 04:20:06 · answer #6 · answered by whats up all 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitely move far away, and don't tell them where you are. Your parents are who they are and wont' change. It's not good to have people like that in your life. Try to surround yourself with nice people. Find a church with nice people or a moms club to make friends and form a support group.
2006-10-09 04:49:35 · answer #7 · answered by Hank 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't go find different grandparents. You already have them. Go to a church or something and associate yourself and the baby with decent people.
2006-10-09 04:18:01 · answer #8 · answered by spot 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only way is to have a good friends parents be your child's grandparents.
2006-10-09 04:11:32 · answer #9 · answered by Eyes of Green 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u can do better than them. don't let her be in that invirment this world has enough problems to worry about keep her away from them .i know u and hubby can raise her right,and i know u don't what her to be around a pedifile at least i hope not.
2006-10-09 04:17:26 · answer #10 · answered by denise b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋