I'm 19 I don't work and I'm pregnant going to an exspensive college. I have 2.5 years to be done with my BA . I'm pregnant and my family wants me to abort it but I can't. I prefer to have it and give the baby away than to kill . I'm almost 5 weeks 3 days I'm soo scared. I feel like a bad person because I don't want to abort and I never believe it that. The guy said is all up to me and I do really want to have it but I'm scared all the presure I will be getting from family would make me abort and then later on in life go crazy or they might put to much presure on me that miscarrae might occer. I prayed to God to let me have this kid. Please I'm lost what should I do?
2006-10-09 04:01:34 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
I have not told my dad yet. I'm scared cuz i know he would also want me to take it out. No one to talk to
2006-10-09 04:04:01 · update #1
If you don't want an abortion, then don't get an abortion. Your family can't make you get one.
If you want to have the baby and give it up for an adoption, then do it. Start looking at adoption programs now. A lot of them can help you out financially and pay for all of the prenatal care, delivery, etc...
Or if you want to keep the baby, then keep the baby. There are lots of programs out there to help you with a baby and college. Most likely these will be loans instead of scholarships, but help is still help.
Way back in 1977 when my Mom was pregnant with my brother she was 18 her family really wanted her to give the baby up for adoption they even sent her away to Bethal a place for unwed mothers. My mom decided to keep my brother and has never regretted it. However, my grandparents still feel bad about it on occasion.
2006-10-09 04:14:39 · answer #1 · answered by Sherry 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A child has a hard enough life being brought into this world into a married husband and wife that both want the child and planned for the child. It's a pretty sorry thing that you and the man you got pregnant by were so careless to think of sex and not what could happen. It was a mistake it was not a plan. Give the baby the biggest break plan this part of it and get the abortion. You would be making one choice for the baby, to have it then never be there again how unfair and cruel is that for the child. you must think only of that baby and go right away and have the abortion. If you don't think so go to an adoption agency and spend a day looking at all the faces of all those children that have no place,no family. And think theres that in every town,every state, every country.
2006-10-09 04:18:49 · answer #2 · answered by g-day mate 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have answered the question:
You will have the baby.
I am not completely against abortion, but it sounds like you have a great head on your shoulders, and you realize that you CAN give that baby up for adoption.
I have many many many friends who had babies (married, divorced, and single) when they were in college, and they got through school and are successful. Some had family support, others did not.
If you want to keep the baby, make sure you do NOT drop out of school, and start talking to school counselors now for help with the time you will be taking off after you give birth.
Realize that having a baby is full of stress and NO SLEEP for the first few months, so having a good relationship with the baby's father is very important. If not, you need to find a way to have help....are your parents loving and caring?
If you decide to give the baby up for adoption, start talking to social services now.
My father recommended having the baby and offered to adopt it. I had an abortion anyway, and it was a terrible experience. For that reason, I never recommend it, but understand a womans legal right to have one.
WORSE than abortion in my mind, is being a neglectful or abusive parent. If you don't have the time or patience for raising a baby, it is best to give it up for adoption. The baby will depend on you for EVERYTHING, and for the first few years will believe that you and he(she) are one in the same person, so be the best mom you can be, or more.
Good luck to you. You sound like a smart gal. Don't leave college...that is your (and possibly the baby's) future.
2006-10-09 04:21:28 · answer #3 · answered by gg 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We are given children for a reason. That baby could be the one to take care of you when you get old. I do understand completely when you say that you do not want to get an abortion. I admire you completely for that because abortion is totally wrong in the eyes of God. God will never give us more than what we can bare. You have the right to have your baby. It may work out where you are able to keep it after having it. If not, at least you will not have a murder on your hands. That is exactly what abortion is TO ME. It can also affect you mentally after having it and giving it away. I hope that there is a way with God's help that you are able to keep your baby and continue with your education because it has been done. Two and half years is not a long time. We are women and we are very strong creatures. You can do this honey. I have seven children of my own and it has been wonderful for me. So I will pray for you that all goes well and do not let your family pressure you because of what you believe. Continue to stand for what is right. God bless you and the new baby.
2006-10-09 04:18:02 · answer #4 · answered by PRECIANA 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do what you have to do... they might be running their mouth now... but if you had the kid and kept it they would love it. So have the kid and keep it and raise it and quit thinking SHOULD i abort or should I give it away because you know you wont do either. Now if you decide to give child to a loving person e-mail me at hillarydillary2@yahoo... i am a certified teacher, I dont spank my kids and I would love to adopt your kid or be your pen pal to help you thru the whole parenting thing should that be the decicion I know you will make. You can be a student and mother. You can meet a nice man to marry and have a nice family. You will be fine. 20 isnt too bad.. at least you werent 12. Tell your family you wont abort and say no more. Dont argue about it. These things happen. Life goes on. Whatever you decide you will be fine I know because you seem kind and caring.
Your dad will love the baby, don't worry
2006-10-09 04:18:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hello.. a child is such a wonderful thing.. my sister had an abortion ahd dam her life is messed up. everytime around the year she had the abortion she flips out and goes into B..I..T..C..H mode. then around the time it would have been born the mode kicks in again....
I myself could never han an abortion, but I am not to say what other can and cant do....
my sisters child would be 20 years old now... and I often wonder what my niece or nefew would have been like....
We all make mistakes and pregnancy happens, but in my view, abortion is not the answer... it is just an easy way out of situation....
your going to an expensive college has nothing to do with you being pregnant.. You are not the first one to get pregnant while in college.....
the father has no righ to tell you what to do, either does your family.. they all have an opinion, but in the end the choice is yours...
there are so many couples unable to have children that could give your child a home.....but then I think you would be a great mom, and you could go to college and raise this child on your own...
I had a baby, went to college and got my degree....There are programs out there to help single mothers get through college... and as the father.. you can not really say what he will say without asking him.. he may not ask you to marry him, but he may be ok with you having the child......
you need to distance yourself from your parents...and I understand so young and have to much in life to experience....
if have the child and give it up for adoption, that child will look for you when he/she turns 18.....do you want to bring up all those feelings again...
you are a smart young lady... i believe that you can keep the child, raise it and attend college.....
you know enough not to want an abortion, so that is the first step.. children are so wonderful....
stay away from your parents ok.. this is your child.. and you make such a wonderful mother.... you can raise this child and go to school.
2006-10-09 04:28:40 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry that your family isn't there for you. I am so proud of you for sticking up for your beliefs. You are obviously a strong young woman. I happen to agree with you 100%. An abortion would be killing a baby, and it would be killing someone's dream of having a baby. There are so many wonderful people that are unable to have thier own child. You could help someone and ensure that your baby has a great life.
Your family can only give you a hard time for a little longer. Past a certain date, you can no longer have an abortion. Stay strong. Know that you are doing the right thing. This is your decision. Not your dad's, your mom's or your siblings. Go with your heart on this one and God Bless You...
2006-10-09 04:09:05 · answer #7 · answered by Mom of 3 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Okay... as a single mother myself I know its hard to have a baby and raise it. I have 3 of them. I go to school 3 days a week, work part time on EBAY, and still take care of my kids. Go with your heart. Don't have an abortion if you truely do not want to have one. This will just cause you emotional stress that you wouldn't be able to imagine until its been done. There are so many answers. Talk to those who want you to have it done and explain to them how you feel. Let them know you understand their worries about your life. Let them know things will be a lot easier if they help you through your choices reather then trying to make the choices for you.
Good Luck
2006-10-09 04:35:15 · answer #8 · answered by erinjl123456 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wish more people felt as you do on the subject of abortion. I was adopted and am sure glad my mother gave me a chance to live. You are doing the right thing and should be commended. You are not lost and shame on your family for not supporting you. Ask them if they wish they would have been aborted. Try to find a support group that can help you because there are many women that are going through the same thing you are. Don't worry, there are plenty of couples that want to have children but cant and you are the answer to their prayers. And it looks like everybody here supports you too.
2006-10-09 04:20:11 · answer #9 · answered by Captleemo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not a bad person! It is your baby and although your family are doing what they think is best for you, you are the only one who knows how you feel and what you want. Tell your family that you don't want to abort, although they will be angry at first if they love you they will support you. It will be tough but lots of mothers are at college and you can get support from the babys father. And maybe get a part time job, to start saving.
Do what you want to do don't be influenced or pressured into doing anything you don't want to do. I hope you make the right decision for YOU. x
2006-10-09 04:12:27 · answer #10 · answered by kayleigh1991 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋