make little digs at me. For instance, I am here at work and was talking to another employee who was asking for Kelly (which is my name). Well, actually she was asking for the patient Kelly, so it was a simple mis-understanding. So I just made the comment "Oh, I see, you're confusing me. Then from the background, my friend goes, "Doesn't take much!" She ALWAYS does this, constant little digs to put me down and I'm nothing but nice to her. Why should I put up with this!? Even is she says she's kidding.
2006-10-09 03:50:03 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
When people make digs or insult someone else, it usually stems from them feeling bad about themselves. In order to make them feel better about themselves, they put others on the "ground" and themselves on a virtual "pedestal". I don't believe the "just kidding" excuse... they wouldn't say it, if they didn't mean it ... to some extent.
Mention this once ... and state that it hurts your feelings. If she tries to down-play her actions ... by saying she's kidding or you're being overly sensitive, state that it's not you ... most people would be offended by her insensitive remarks and you would like her to stop. If she continues ... even once, break off the friendship.
Keep in mind ... ALL CRUELTY SPRINGS FROM WEAKNESS ... and she needs to berate you, or "feed" off of you ... in order to make herself stronger (in her mind). The insults will continue, unless you put a stop to it NOW.
Wishin' you well ...........
2006-10-09 04:21:46 · answer #1 · answered by ♥Carol♥ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can tell you for sure that my sense of humor and the way I show affection to people is by making little comments like that. When I do that to people, it means I feel comfortable with them. But I know that I can't do that with everyone because it can be annoying and seem mean to someone that doesn't have that same sense of humor. Maybe give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she doesn't mean to be hurtful. She can't read your mind, so you should say something about it sometime when you are alone with her. Preferably it should be a time when you aren't feeling angry, just needing to have a straightforward conversation about it. Hopefully she will realize you don't appreciate her comments and will end the behavior. If not, try to limit the time you spend with her (if you can) or just refuse to acknowledge her when she makes that type of comment.
2006-10-10 16:19:51 · answer #2 · answered by francesfarmer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you just quoted does sound to mean like an attempt to just tease you a little. Maybe you should just have a frank, open, face to face about how you're feeling. If she still doesn't change her tactics, I'd say she's not really your friend. I know from my own experience, sometimes I can be way too sensitive. If you're feeling kind of insecure and testy anyway, you get your feelings hurt too easily. It is hard to overcome, even if you know you are being over-sensitive.
2006-10-09 11:01:35 · answer #3 · answered by krautlover2u 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Quit calling this person your "friend". The only way to get this to stop is to cool your relationship until she realizes you are serious about her so called kidding. She is no friend if it the "joke" is always at your expense. There are a lot of nicer, better people out there. I know this without knowing her. I have been through this and my so called friend got the drift and stopped doing it and now we have a better, though guarded relationship. The best thing was, while i was "cooling it" I met a nicer, kinder, more fun friend to do things with. My original friend's loss!
2006-10-09 11:01:53 · answer #4 · answered by AKA FrogButt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to put up with that. You should just tell her that it really bothers you when she does that. She probably just doesn't realize how much it hurts your feelings when she does it. If she doesn't care that it hurts your feelings and still continues to do it then she isn't really your friend at all. In that case it would be perfectly fair to dig back at her!!!
2006-10-09 10:54:07 · answer #5 · answered by Laura D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is the kind of "friend" who puts you down to make herself look and feel better than you . I don't think you need a person like that in your life .
2006-10-09 15:00:23 · answer #6 · answered by BaBaWaWa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I WOULDNT put up with it. Id have to tell her that you cant stand when she does that. Tell her it bothers you, and its not fair to you, AT ALL. Ask her how shed feel if you did that to her?
They always say theyre kidding, but they keep doing it, huh? Id call her on it. Id tell her you dont care if shes kidding or not, its degrading to you.
2006-10-09 11:12:18 · answer #7 · answered by ~~ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like she's in love with you. You should think about sleeping with her.
2006-10-09 10:54:17 · answer #8 · answered by Dialup, Avatar, Jones!™ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Read the book, "When I say no I feel guily". You will love it.
2006-10-09 11:48:41 · answer #9 · answered by apes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋