Why do I feel this way? please help...?

Question

a few months ago I broke up w/ my girlfriend of 5 years because we both wanted different things for the future, and because we were slowly growing apart... shortly after the break up I met a great girl who is everything my ex was not. She is a wonderful girl who is more mature, knows what she wants and is very loving. We've been dating for about 4 months now and Just recently I've starting really missing my Ex... I don't understand it, I have this great girl but she's not my ex :( I kinda regret it we couldn't work it out, is this normal? will this pass? should i contact my ex and let her know how I feel and jeopordize my current relationship?

Answer 1

Your ex is your ex because you and she wanted different things in life. You seem to have more in common with this other girl... Now you simply have to look back and figure out if you were simply using this current girl as a 'rebound' or if you truely love her. Honestly it sounds like you jumped in this relationship way too soon... you were with your ex for 5 years! You should have taken some time off of dating and relationships.

Answer 2

If you tell her of course she is going to be mad. However it's normal to miss you EX, but remember there is a reason she is your EX. You might be missing on the friendship side of your relationship which is normal.

I would suggest if you wanted to tell your current love about this tell her, you miss the friendship you guys once had. However they still might get upset, so if you want her to know, just don't use any terms that would cause your current flame to be heart broken. However if you let her know it's the friendship even if it's not. It sounds not right, but until you get your feelings figured out just don't go breaking hearts if you can stop from it happening.

If your Ex wanted to be with you they would have contacted you and told you, made adjustments for both of your lives. If you other love has not tried to get back with you then you need to move on.

It's normal to miss someone after a long peroid of time, but weigh out both the good and bad things and also realize there is a reason you broke up.

Answer 3

Well my friend. I am sorry to say that you did jeopordize your current relationship as this chick was a rebound. You used her to mask your true emotions that you were going through at the time of the break-up. You really love your ex even tho you don't want to admit it but you do. And the only reason that you are going out with this girl was because you did not want to feel the pain of the break-up. I suggest that you call off the relationship and call your ex and try to work things out. You could be making the worst mistake of your life that you could regret later on. Don't let your true love pass you by!

Answer 4

Usually, the rebound girl never works out.

In regards to this new girl, it's very hard to get to know someone very well in 4 months. She may appear to be everything you want, but it's too early to tell. It appears that your way of dealing with the break up is replacing your ex with someone else.

It appears to me as if you're co-dependent and you don't want to be alone. If I were in your shoes (having been through this), I would take some time off from the relationship, hang out with my friends and spend sometime doing the things I want to do, before I get into another committed relationship.

It also appears that you are very confused, as you discuss all these qualities that your new GF has over your EX, but you regret breaking up with your EX. That just doesn't make sense.....

If you've broken up after 5 years, chances are, it's not going to work out. Naturally, you feel more comfortable with the EX, because you know her better and are connected emotionally. It's much more difficult to venture out and start anew.

Answer 5

You may be feeling like the guy from the song lips of angel... although your ex-gf has probably moved on to do leave this great girl you have now. I know there were probably some things you miss about your ex but just think of how many things you are gaining from this AMAZING new girl you have now. But if you really really feel you have messed up talk to your current girlfriend nicely aboutit she will understand! You need closure, write a letterto your ex tell her that youhave gotton over her then throw it away it help you get your feelings out without hurting anyone. (MAKE SURE IT DOES NOT GET INTO THE WRONG HANDS!)

Answer 6

First of all I don't think you should be comparing your current girlfriend to your ex girlfriend.
Also, I think you need to do what you feel is right, but since you asked I'll give my two cents. If your ex hasn't bothered to contact you then she's probably over you and since you've got this great girl you should stick it through with her. But make sure you're not putting strain on your current relationship because you're spending too much time thinking about your ex.
Also, maybe what you miss about your ex is the friendship you two probably built over that 5 years. Maybe you can talk to her to gain her friendship back, but if it's clear you two want different things from like, then I wouldn't try to recreate what you had before.
Good luck!

Answer 7

It's only normal to have some feelings for the ex after 5 years together. Allow the new girl to blossom into a whole new experience that the ex failed to do. The memories and good times are cool and all, but don't forget the sh#t that you guys brought to each other. Focus yout time and attention to the new girl, make it better than the previous. Good luck t

Answer 8

I kinda know how you feel except for the simple fact it was me that was on the other end of what you feel. My husband today was feeling that way and talked to me about it and I walked out of his life and let him go back to his ex. After a few months he realized how much he loved me and wanted to be with me and now we are married and happy. So I am sure that the feeling you are feeling are real and need to be sorted out before you can move on and your current girlfriend needs to know so she can help you through this time of need and confusion. I walked away and regreted it every minute I was away from him and wanted so much to be in his life again and I am now and so happy but she should do what she feels is right and you too. Maybe you and your ex should go out for coffee and discuss how you both feel and how you both want your future to be it might help open upi your hearts and eyes to what you both really feel and need. Good luck and be truthful to all that is in your life follow your heart it will lead the way to your happiness.

Answer 9

5 years....that's a long time. But you felt as if you were growing apart, so don't you think that it'll go back to the same things? You miss her b/c you guys knew each other inside and out. Maybe you miss the friendship and the closeness. You'll develop that with your new g/f, but it'll take time and work. Search your heart and if you can't be without your ex, then you need to talk to her about it and why you guys had those certain problems and work it out if you want....and if she wants.

Answer 10

you said you broke up with your ex because you both wanted diff things for the future. Do you think that if you get back to her now, this will change?if you do this, you might find yourself alone cuz both of them will no longer be around. Besides, you have a wonderful girl with you right now, what is it you still want? just let this feeling go and stop thinking about your ex and give your undivided attention to your present girl.