A guy works in my company but lives in another State. He pursued me for a couple months. Sometimes we go to the same work conferences. One night, he asked me to go out with him and his coworkers and asked me if I had a boyfriend. I told him I ended a relationship where I felt controlled (mistake, I know). Then he said he thought I was controlling and he didn't go out with controlling girls. He said he was a free spirit et cetera...but we could be friends. I said ok!
A week later after talking for 3 hrs on the phone I teased him about being a free spirit and asked him if he was a player. He told me he used to be when he was younger but he was looking to settle down. Then he told me I was very pretty, accomplished, had a nice family, kept myself in shape and could have any guy I wanted. Without thinking I told him I just got out of a relationship and needed sometime to myself.
We still talk about work. He doesn't flirt or ask me about myself anymore. What does he want?
2006-10-09 03:13:17 · 20 answers · asked by shar 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sounds like he just wants to be friends.
2006-10-09 03:14:57 · answer #1 · answered by . 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think what he wants is the question you need to be asking. The important thing is--what do YOU want? I haven't the faintest idea how old you are, but are YOU ready to look for something more permanent or are you still involved in learning about life? The main thing about any relationship is that you need to be on the same page or someone is likely to get hurt.
If he's not actively pursuing you any more, perhaps he's decided that a long distance relationship isn't worth the considerable time and effort it takes. And, if that's the case, he's absolutely right. For a long distance relationship to work, both parties need be really be in love and extremely motivated.
Take him at his word that you're very attractive and find someone closer to home who will totally adore you!
2006-10-09 10:29:30 · answer #2 · answered by Lady Sue 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Speaking from a guys perspective, I think he got mixed signals from you and backed off. You did tell him that you needed time to yourself so I think he is only honoring your request.
Actually a question might be.... What do you want ? And a 3 hr phone call is pretty long. What was discussed ? Intimate details or FRIENDS reruns ? That's a long phone call so I think he is interested. In what , I'm not sure. But I still want to know what you are looking for ? I hope you aren't just seeking the feeling of being wanted and not really caring about him. THAT SUCKS !! I have been that guy .
2006-10-09 10:26:29 · answer #3 · answered by rock d 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He wants to play with your head and make it spin. He sound's confused. Once a player always player. I would not put my heart out there for a situation like that. Keep an open mind and try and look at the situation from outside of the box.
2006-10-09 10:24:46 · answer #4 · answered by Niecy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop focusing on what this guy wants and start focusing on what you want. Which actually seems to be the real question here. What do you want? Do you want this guy? Then tell him. Sounds like he might be a little insecure and afraid of rejection. You might have to make the first move here. If neither one of you moves then you'll both be spinning your wheels. Life's too short to waste it waiting and wishing. Get up, get moving and good luck.
2006-10-09 10:38:49 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he might like u
but is hesitate to make a move for 2 reasons
u guys work in the same place which is bad business
or 2 he may think he is not what u look for in a guy
so if u r into him like that
continue sharing time together n from time to time
give him little hints here n there
2006-10-09 11:06:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously he took your last phone call as a rejection. I would have. I mean a woman saying they need some time to themself is just another way of saying thanks but no thanks.
Men don't like rejection :)
So my guess based on what you've told is that he would be interested in you, but it might be too late. After rejection the interest usually fades pretty quickly and might be hard to build again.
But good luck anyway!
2006-10-09 10:24:54 · answer #7 · answered by johnpoe 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with "justbu40". The real question is what do YOU want?
You blew him off twice by telling him that you didn't want a another serious realtionship right now. How did you expect him to react? He is giving you your "time to yourself" that you said that you wanted.
He probably thinks that you are not interested in him. If you like him, then why not ask him out?
2006-10-09 10:21:28 · answer #8 · answered by Randy G 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He was trying to get to know you better, but before he could, you shut him down. Seems like you are holding on to old baggage. You can't go on a trip with old baggage if the climate has changed.
Try to reach out to him again, if you like him.
2006-10-09 10:17:45 · answer #9 · answered by T W 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't want to push you into anything. you're the one telling him that you need time. So maybe he's waiting on you to get over your break up. If you like him, let him know that. Or start asking him things to do...
2006-10-09 10:16:48 · answer #10 · answered by inlovewow 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋