My son (8) wont eat what I serve him?

Question

Which is always a good home cooked meal, meat, veg etc.He just sits there and maybe starts crying saying he cant or he doesnt want it. I provide him with fruit everyday for school. Our meals at night are usualy meat based with veg and pots etc. He wont touch it, he'd rather go to his room and go to bed early. He doesnt eat sweets and junk at all. I always have really fresh and healthy food in the house. He wont even try other foods such as rice or pasta.

Answer 1

All answers so far, have been weak.

The boy is eight years old and so can understand and rationalise. Explain to him that you have cooked him a quality meal, but that it is his choice whether he eats it or not. However, let him know that there will be no alternative, and that his food will be thrown away at the end of meal time. Therefore his choice is to eat what you have prepared or not eat at all. If he chooses not to eat, then let him see you disposing of his food, as you told him.

If later, he complains of being hungry, then tell him that he feels hungry because of the choice that he made. He had the options explained to him carefully, after all. He will protest, shout and cry, but you should stay calm, and not give in. He can't keep that up forever, and one day hungry will not affect him adversely. It will however, cause him to reflect. It is certain that the next day, when he gets the same options, he'll make a different decision. No kid likes to be hungry.

You must do this, because you are the parent. Your son is the one who needs to change his behaviour, not you. You are the one in charge.

Answer 2

He is still alive so he must be eating something somewhere. Please do not worry the more you worry and try and make him eat the more he will dig his heels in and refuse.
Is he being bullied at school? Has he got something on his mind he is worried about? Reason i ask is an 8 year old just does not stop eating for no reason as the way you have written this question you have always cooked the way you have and provided all the things you have so why start being fussy now? Have you changed the way you buy and cook things resently or has he just started saying no.
I think he may be upset about something if he is not then you need to ask him what would he like to eat.
When my daughter did this around same age I took her shopping and gave her a basket and said "Do your own shop put what you would like" this helped a lot as she felt more in control of what she was having ok some of it was junk but better than nothing. I then made her with some help COOK IT HERSELF trust me this then soon changed to you cook it mom and dont want to shop today I will have what you have lol Just an idea that worked for me at the time.
Trick here is not to worry he will not starve himself unless he has some underline problem you do not know of. Make sure he is ok and then ask him what he wants to eat. At the moment he has total control over you and is using food to do it as you are worrying and it may or may not be now turning into a battle.It may well be his way of trying to tell you he is unhappy somewhere. and finding it difficult to tell you reason I say this is what you said "He'd rather go to his room and go to bed early"
Try and have a chat with him tonight do not ask him if he wants tea just do it and say it is there if you want it this may make him be a bit suprised he has no pressure to eat and relax him hence you may be let into the problem.
Good luck with this as I know how worrying it is but i just ignored it stopped worrying and tried a diffrent tact.

Answer 3

Put the food down in front of him and if he doesnt eat it within 20 minutes, then take the plate away. Harden your heart and dont allow him anything else to eat until the next mealtime. If he doesnt eat the next meal within 20 minutes, do the same thing. Dont make a big issue out of it, just take the plate away. This will let him know that there is no point resisting eating the food for hope of something better.
If he is still refusing to eat after a few days then it may be wise to speak to your doctor as your son may have a deeper problem in relation to food. Good luck.

Answer 4

What does he eat? And has he not told you why he won't eat what you're giving him? As long as he's eating something, and not eating rubbish, and is staying healthy, he should be ok.

It's a shame he's not into the nice food you're making for him though - I'd eat it! But I remember hating rice and pasta when I was little, although I did try them, I didn't like them. Now I love them - so tastes do change. We always had meat and veg meals at home and I never refused to eat them, I've always loved meat, but there were certain vegetables that I didn't like. My mum insisted on serving them, telling me my tastes would change. Well I still don't like them! It's just a question of finding what you do and don't like.

I'm afraid with your son a little bit of perseverance and discipline are necessary. Surely he's not starving himself - surely he'd rather eat what he doesn't like than go to bed hungry? But perhaps you should just serve him what you're making and make him sit there until he's eaten it. Try giving him a little pasta or rice and making him try it - even if he just tries one piece. I remember I always loved spaghetti bolognese, but hated pasta in any other form, even though it was the same stuff! I have no idea why, but try him with different pastas. Talk to him and find out what he thinks he would like!

Answer 5

He may be overwhelmed by the amounts of food on his plate.
Ask him to select one item from all of the foods you prepared and let him put it on his plate. Let him eat as much or as little as he wants without criticizing it. A child that age who eats as much as the size of his palm has eaten enough. (although, I prefer to see them eat more too :*)
Also he may like his foods very bland and plain and also with none of them touching each other.
Never use dessert as a bribe or say that he won't get dessert if he doesn't eat. That works when they get older but at that age all they are "hearing" is you have to eat the bad food before you can have the good food.
Let him help you prepare the meal. Sometimes the fun experience encourages them to eat.
However, I wouldn't encourage making something seperate from the rest of the family meal unless he has allergy problems.
It also takes at least 10 tries of a new food for a child to develop a taste for it. I started with just a 1/2 teaspoon of veggies when mine were young and now they eat all vegetables. It was a long process and didn't happen over night.
Also, does he drink alot of juice boxes or just liquids? He could be filling up on those. Make sure he takes a multi-vitamin too.
Good Luck and hang in there and remember his lack of appetite is not a reflection upon your cooking ability or you as a mom.

Answer 6

I didn't read the other answers, so I apologize if I sound like someone else on the page. I was raised on that don't leave the table, don't drink your juice until your finished eating philosophy. My son's doctor had to really explain to me that's not the way to go. Children should never be forced to eat, your son may really just not be hungry. Don't make him sit down until he starts crying, then he'll look at dinner as an upsetting event and never want to sit down at the table and eat. Some days my son eats almost everything I cook, other days, he'll rather have a bowl of cereal than dinner. As long as your child is eating and the doctor says he's healthy, he'll be just fine. Start asking him what would he like for dinner instead of just cooking and saying this is what your having. Or start letting him help you make dinner, some children like to be involved and him actually making dinner, will make him want to taste what he made. And your son isn't a baby, he's 8, so sit down and ask him why he doesn't want to eat. He may grow up to be a vegan, this may just be a phase, you never know. Talk to him about it.

Good Luck

Answer 7

Maybe you think you cook a little better than you do. My wife will tell anyone she's a good cook, but none of my 3 kids will eat that garbage. My kids rarely turn down one of my meals. Some of the difference is however I let my kids pick out their own meal. in the morning they tell me what they want for dinner and the best pick gets cooked. Maybe if you involve your son in picking, cooking, and shopping for food we would be more willing to eat it.

Answer 8

I don't want to sound mean, but if he won't eat it, let him go hungry! Once he's hungry enough, he will eat. Maybe this is just a method to get your attention.

However, if after a few days he still won't budge, I would take a closer look at his behaviour. Is there anything that could be upsetting him or worrying him?

Many people forget that children can suffer from stress and anxiety just as much as adults.

But don't worry about that just yet! Try what I first suggested and then go on from there!

Answer 9

I feel your dilemma, I have 2 children. My son who's 13 was like that, and my 9 yr. old daughter just snacks all day (healthy food, I don't mean junk), mostly cheese, peanut butter, pickles and any fruit. She's healthy as a horse, literally.
I'm not big on forcing my kids to eat food they don't like. They will be adults one day who will have to choose and make decisions about what they eat. So, I give them options before I cook, that way I'm not surprised when I serve it and they say they don't want it. My daughter sometimes just wants the potatoes, so thats what I give her and throw some cheese and pickles and she has a meal she's happy with. Just a note, my kids now like broccoli and meatloaf, go figure.

Answer 10

I had this with my 6 year old daughter for a while in the end I had to make her sit at the table with us till everyone had finished then she had to sit there until she either ate or it was bedtime. We had a few horendous nights of tantrums but after about 4 days she finally realised that she wasn't going to get her own way. It also helped that I made her help prepare the meals.