Relationship issue?

Question

So my girlfriend and I have been dating for over a year now. As of late we have been having some arguments, but that’s all fixed up now. We are in sort of a long distance relationship, nothing major, but she goes to college an hour away.

I visited her this past weekend, and we had a great time. However, when she went to take a shower I was a little nosey. I read in her diary that she had a crush on someone in her class, and in the following dates in her journal she wrote that he is a refreshment of attention, because I’m not there and that she likes him. I also read that she plans to ask him out for coffee.

Should I be worried about this? I kind of hinted towards not cheating on me and everything over the weekend, and on the phone-- yet she swears that she would never do anything like that.

She leaves me messages and texts that she love and misses me so much, but I can’t get over the fact that she wrote that she had a CRUSH on someone else…and that she is interested in someone else…

Am I getting too worked up over this? Should I let her go out with this guy, and not say anything?

I'm just wondering if she is putting on a show, so that I dont find out.

Answer 1

Yeah you need to let her go and have fun with "other guys". She not cheating unless she actually has some kinda of relationship with one of them. Maybe she meant that he's great male attention since your not there, so she can't talk to you and see you all the time.

Good Luck.

Answer 2

You are reading to much into this and are taking things to the extreme. It is just an innocent little crush, infactuation maybe. Give her time and when she tells you that she loves you then she really means that. Don't doubt her love just because of what you read in her diary. In fact you should not even been snooping around in there. That is her private haven where she can say things without the fear of being judged. So basically, everything is harmless. Send her little texts during the day to tell her how much you miss and love her. It will make the world of difference because you will be reminding her that there is someone out there that loves her dearly. If she says that she will tell you if there is someone else then she will. But at this moment in time the girl is only dreaming. Just make sure that she understands that if she should be cheating then it will be over between the two of you. A word of advice my man, don't go snooping around behind your chick, as that is a sign of insecurity and never ever peak into her handbag! Best of luck and take things easy.

Answer 3

It's true that absence makes the heart grow fonder, but it also opens the door for someone else to slide in & fill that space. If she's writing this stuff in her diary - WHICH YOU HAD NO BUSINESS READING, BY THE WAY - then she's got someone else on her mind because, as she stated in her diary, because you are not there. If she goes out with that guy, there won't be anything you can do about it, without admitting you've read her private information. And you won't know when she goes, since she's an hour away. No, you're not getting too worked up over it.
It sounds like she's still in love with you but looking for the next fish on her hook. Sorry to be so blunt about it, but that's what's going on. You are in the position of knowing she is indeed looking, but you can't come right out & tell her how you know, cos if you admit you read her diary, she will dump you anyhow.
Until/Unless she breaks up with you, there's not a lot you can do except be with her every minute that you can. So sorry -

Answer 4

That's a tough one.
If she's playing a game with you, that is a bad sign. It took thought and planning to write out the diary and leave it where you would find it. Sounds psycho.
On the other hand, if she really is interested in him, there is nothing you can do. If you forbid her to see him or start acting jealous, it will chase her away from you. If she starts dating him, then she may dump you. Either way, I can't see how you can influence her. You should just sit tight and watch what she does. Maybe you could find your own coffee buddy in the meantime. Keep your options open!

Answer 5

Yes, you need to let her do whatever it is she is going to do. If things are meant to be between the two of you, it will work out. Don't say a word to her about you reading her diary, and make believe you know nothing. Just love her like you always have, and treat her good, keep the jealousies hidden, and things will work out. Good luck.

Answer 6

If she really cared about you she wouldn't be thinking of asking someone to coffee. Just imagine her reaction if you asked a girl you had a crush on to lunch or something. Your not over reacting your not reacting enough. It was wrong of you to read her diary but at least now you know how she truly is. My advise is leave her now before you get hurt.

Answer 7

This is why it's a good idea not to snoop -- sometimes ignorance really is bliss. Personally, I belong to the school that believes that it is possible to have crushes on people you don't love. She says she "loves" you but has a "crush" on the other guy. I wouldn't worry about it yet.

Answer 8

honesty is the best policy. be frank and talk like mature people do. you will never be happy in a relationship where there is no trust. if you believe her to be honest accept what she says but if you don't believe her. say so and move on with your separate lives while you still can .

Answer 9

i hope you learned a lesson about going thru other people's things. i know i did when i did the same thing and realized i was better off not knowing instead of spending all my time wondering and worrying my bf was up to. (and he was up to plenty. eventually we broke up, but i still wished i hadn't done it)

Answer 10

maybe seeing you again changed her mind.