The investigation with respect to the cow incidence in cultivation farm and household in different areas of Daqing has been carried out. The information of the numbers of cow, the sorts of diseases, the etiological factors and the incidences are get through ask the veterinarian and cultivation household. Related medical records are also consulted.
We conclude that the main incidence is the internal medicine diseases, the next comes obstetrics diseases, surgical diseases and infectious diseases.
In addition, the incidence of obstetrics diseases, surgical diseases and infectious diseases in household are higher than that of in cultivation farm. The distribution rule and regular pattern of all diseases are get.
We find some problems such as: unscientific breed and management, incomplete anti-epidemic, lacking clinical records.
2006-10-09 02:26:04 · 7 answers · asked by alma 1 in Science & Mathematics ➔ Medicine
Here is how I would edit this, although I am somewhat unclear on the study construction, perhaps you could make that a bit clearer. Are you contrasting households versus cultivation farms? In the first paragraph they are seemingly together, in the second to last, they appear to be vastly different.
TRY THIS:
An investigation was undertaken in several areas in Daqing regarding cultivation farms and households. The study focused on types of diseases, etiology and incidence of said diseases. Information was gathered from veterinary and medical records as well as interviews with the cultivation households themselves.
Our conclusion is that the primary human disease incidence is highest in the discipline of internal medicine, followed by obstetric, surgical and infectious disease disciplines (*although this conclusion does not make sense to me).
Another observation was made that the incidence of obstetric, surgical and infectious diseases were higher in the households than in the cultivation farms. These findings are found in diagrams to be supplied in the full article.
Problems encountered in this study included: lack of scientific bases for breeding and livestock management, incomplete epidemic surveillance and implementation, and lack of record keeping.
2006-10-09 02:44:19 · answer #1 · answered by finaldx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately you have so many grammatical errors that the points of the essay are difficult to understand. It is obvious you are not well versed in English but have high level thought processes and a fairly extensive vocabulary. I will try to rewrite this, but remember that, the manner in which I change it is dictated by how well I understand it.
An investigation concerning the incidences of diseases of cattle in Daqing has been done to determine if there is a relationship between incidences of diseases found in cattle kept by households and cattle under more formal cultivation practices. Information concerning the distribution of diseases among the population is included. We studied and compiled the information taken from interviews with the population and such records as were available. Unfortunately, we found that incomplete clinical and epidemic records and unscientific breeding and management hampered the investigation and may adversely impact the accuracy of the data. The study shows that obstetric, surgical and infectious diseases occur at a higher rate in cattle owned by a household than in those under more organized cultivation.
I read it several times and concluded that the above ideas are more or less what you wish to convey.
2006-10-09 02:58:15 · answer #2 · answered by Nightstalker1967 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are many, many grammatical mistakes in your post. Unfortunately for you, I get paid $40 per hour to edit articles for students and don't consider doing it for free a good way to spend my time. Perhaps if you posted this question in Homework help?
I'll give you one hint for free "are get through ask the veterinarian" makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.
2006-10-09 02:39:12 · answer #3 · answered by jeshzisd 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wrong words; lack of agreement between subject and verb; run-on sentences; incorrect spelling; sentence fragments; lack of clarity. F
2006-10-09 02:35:37 · answer #4 · answered by cynical_about_future_generations 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The grammar is terrible. For one, a string of prepositions occurs, and the sentences are long and rambling.
2006-10-09 03:30:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you meant: incident(s)
2006-10-09 02:36:52 · answer #6 · answered by ajd1bmf 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What?????????? So many errors I can't even decipher it!!
2006-10-09 08:07:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋