ok so theirs this girl i really like and we have been talking on the phone alot like normally between1-4 hours a day and she just broke up with her boyfriend she said that she would want to go out with me if she wasnt with him. and i know that since they broke up i cant just jump in their immediatly, and she says she still wants to be friends with him but he has a huge jelousy problem so i can never talk to her when hes around and i just dont know what to do cause i dont know if her feelings have changed they have been broken up for like 2 weeks now and me and her chill together about every other day and talk all the time but i dont know when i can make i a move cause i think shes gettin kind of jelous because hes talkin to another girl now. and ive told her that i like her when i was drunk and she said not to worry about it right now cause i was so drunk i just want to know if she still likes me and if i still have a chance
2006-10-09 02:22:31 · 15 answers · asked by me 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
from experience, and i mean, me being in HER shoes... the best thing you can do is lay off for a while. if she is anything like me, this is her scenario:
She likes you, but she still loves him. she is jealous of chix who get his attention, and will be upset when he is with another girl. she likes you, and likes the idea of being with you, and although she wont admit it, the reason being with you is such a great idea is because she has just been rejected by this guy and that is a big OUCH for a chick, now she is missing the affection and "love" etc, and your the next person who wants her, and coz she is craving that relationship she will most certainly date you, but it is for selfish reasons. she wants someone to hold, someone to hear say "i love you" someone, anyone. you are available and showing interest, your nice... you will do.
If you date her now, you will be taking advantage of her vulnerable state, and she will be using you for emotional fulfillment. you will find her always being confused and on and off with you, and quite unpredictable in mood.
i understand u have feelings for her. If she really likes you too, you will eventually get together,... but id give it at least 3 months. if not, more. depends on the person. she still wants her ex. you would be second preference. u need to give her time to get over it. even if she says its all good and she is over it... dont go there yet. just wait. dont totally block her off, she will get mad at you, but just be a friend. tell her you are there for her and if she ever needs anyone to talk to or a shoulder to cry on, you are there. when you hand out, keep it light and friendly. dont take her on evening dates to cinemas or other places where she could get all lovey dovey with you. even tho this is what you want. doing it now will stuff up your chances of actually working out in the future.
give it time. take it slow, then it will work out.
2006-10-09 02:32:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Greetings
yes it can be scary wondering if someone likes you romantically or not
and the fear of rejection can be overwhelming.
The most important thing in any relationship is communication and
with the 1-4 hours a day you definatley have that with her and you
are both dedicating this time to each other. so she definately likes
you atleast as a close friend. the most important part of communication
and any relationship is being clear and honest with each other.
I can feel that you are fearing rejection, but the only way to know if she'll go
out with you is to be confident in yourself and just ask her.
if the answer is no, atleast you still have a friend and the uncertaintly will
be releived which I know is driving you nuts. ......however, the answer
could be Yes and then you'll be wondering why you waited. smiles.
who knows, maybe she broke up with him to be with you?
I truly wish you the best with this. The best way to have what you want in
life including romantic relationships is to value and love yourself, and then
others will reflect back to you the same degree of value and love.
blessings
willowgreen
2006-10-09 02:35:40 · answer #2 · answered by willowgreen66 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like she likes you quite a bit. Not sure if she likes you as "boyfriend" material, however.
At your age, girls are often more influenced by what a guy has/looks like than they are by the things that count, like how honest a guy is, how dependable, and how much he is willing to care about HER concerns, not just his. A "hottie" usually gets more attention than a normal guy who's loving and caring and really wants to make his girl feel like a princess.
Right now, as Tom so eloquently put it, she's on the "rebound" and starting up things probably isn't the best idea. However, you can stay her best friend, be there for her when she's down, and find ways to do things "just the two of us" like go to Starbucks or a movie with "no strings attached".
If it's "right" and "meant to be" - those strings will attach themselves. Just keep your eyes open for little signs like if she gives you a hug and then looks up into your eyes... (Silent language for "I think I'd like to try kissing you")
Good luck, Hun.
2006-10-09 02:30:57 · answer #3 · answered by sewmouse 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-08-29 05:40:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she has you like a puppet on a string... Why is everything on her terms???????
If she is worrying about her ex bf and what he thinks or does, honey you haven't a chance in the world and she is keeping you on a leash, just in case she has to get back at him.
Run away, as fast as you can and don't look back.
By the way, alcohol dulls the senses and the mind....
Get sober and find someone worth being with, that isn't afraid to show you off.......
2006-10-09 02:27:53 · answer #5 · answered by doclakewrite 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only she knows what chance you have. You may be a shoulder to lean on, she may go back to him. There's no rush so just carry on as you are and see what happens... She's obviously not over her ex yet and you don't want to get with her on the rebound and have her change her mind. Build your friendship- it's a good basis to start anything.
2006-10-09 02:28:28 · answer #6 · answered by annie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you are asking the wrong people these questions. Pose these questions to her directly and tell her how you feel honestly about her. Also tell her that you are not rushing her into anything that she does not want to get into at the moment. I am sure that she still has feelings for you and if I am correct I think that her feelings for you as been growing stronger. Be sure that she does not abuse this opportunity to use you as a rebound.
2006-10-09 02:30:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she's playing you. If her 'ex' wants her back, you're history. I give her credit for saying she only wants to be friends. You're putting a lot of emotional effort into something that isn't there. Unless she gives you a clear sign that she's interested in you, I'd look around for someone who is.
2006-10-09 02:27:36 · answer #8 · answered by Arnold M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow...what a story this is....again, I get to put my CUPID WINGS on..HaHa...well...I know how it feels to be dating a guy and liking another one. Its REALLY ruff on a girl..but, I believe that you should sit down with her and tell her how you truly feel. If she and her ex dated for a while, then I can understand why she is so jelous of seeing him with another guy...sometimes girls can be *not so nice* and just want a guy because other girls want him... I've been through that before too...just sit down with her and tell her how you feel, you need to be sober when you tell her, so she knows that your serious. good luck on this one, let me know how it goes! God Bless!!
2006-10-09 02:28:29 · answer #9 · answered by ..::Sierra::.. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For this situation: patience is a virtue! Unless you can perhaps discuss this with her, but then that wouldn't do too much good because she doesn't know what she wants right now either. Time is the only one who can answer your question(s).
2006-10-09 02:33:54 · answer #10 · answered by Brennus 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋