We've been dating for seven months. We get together when we can. We won't pursue anything serious until his divorce is final, his house is sold and he has a good work contract. But, I still feel like I'm being an adultress, a secret that's being kept from most of his family. The one's that do know about me - disapprove. Not a great way to start, huh? Should I back off?
2006-10-09 01:58:47 · 22 answers · asked by Carol 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
if hes hiding you now do you really think he'll be proud to introduce you to anyone later?
2006-10-09 02:02:39 · answer #1 · answered by cory w 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry honey, I've been there. It's so hard, but you've got to get out ASAP! Walk away, and let it hurt. With some time you'll be stronger and better for it. If you're meant to be together, wait until the divorce is final - it won't kill you to wait, and then you can be sure. I wish to God that I'd waited - then I wouldn't have been used; you'd probably never believe the whole story. Put your head up and your shoulders back girl - you deserve so much better - a man that is honest and has character and integrity, for starters. The fact that you're questioning this situation shows me that you're a good person and you deserve the best. Would love to help you............
2006-10-09 02:24:48 · answer #2 · answered by been there 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's separated from his wife, I don't think there's a problem doing some "unofficial dating". Honestly though, this relationship sounds like it should be kept more like a friendship. If he's unemployed--DEAL BREAKER. If he's keeping you a secret--DEAL BREAKER. If he's newly out of a serious relationship--DEAL BREAKER (cause this means he's probably doing the rebound relationship thing with you). I would remain just friends for awhile even after the divorce. I'm not saying this guy couldn't be serious relationship material, but I am saying you and he need to wait a good while after his divorce to truly see where his head is at and what he really wants for his life. Good Luck!
2006-10-09 02:07:26 · answer #3 · answered by P. C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would back off. He is still married and probably will continue to be married to his wife. I have heard from friends who have tried to have this kind of relationship that they keep making promises of their futures only when the divorce is final. The divorce will never be final. He will continue to tell you whatever it is he thinks you want to hear to get what he wants and then going home to his wife doing the same. Put yourself in her shoes and think about how this may make her feel. Would you want to feel this way. You should want someone who you can have whenever you want not when its to the convenience of his marriage.
Don't allow him to treat you like a doormat. A man will treat you how you allow him to treat you. Don't fall for it. Don't fall for any excuses he may have. Such as his wife this or that 9 times out of 10 his wife isn't doing a thing to make him stray. Straying as for all our actions are done by choice. Who is to say that if he left his wife and got with you that he won't grow tired of you and do the same to you. And even if he stays with his wife and you continue to see him how many other "women" does he have.
Be true to yourself. We are not promised tomorrow so cherish each day.
Be blessed and best regards!
2006-10-09 02:15:06 · answer #4 · answered by sweetcincylove 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your in a relationship with a man that may never leave his wife. And if he does you'll be the one blamed for his marriage failing. I mean the family you have met disapprove of what is going on here and so I'm sure they won't accept the fact of you and him marrying if he ever does divorce his wife. And just maybe his wife's not the problem with his marriage in the first place. I'd think about it.
2006-10-09 02:14:20 · answer #5 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dating someone who is still married, not working, so his wife is supporting him?? So you get together for what?? Sex? A divorce takes 6 months to become final, a house can take months to finally sell (or longer) and a good work contract? He has to go looking for a job first!!! Don't waste your time being strung along ... You've been dating? Since he has no job, WHO pays for the dates????
2006-10-09 02:07:36 · answer #6 · answered by angeleyes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So, what do you want out of life? What could you possibly find appealing about someone like that? He doesn't work, and is married! If he lies to his wife and cheated with you, what makes you think he wouldn't do the same to you? He would! Once a cheater, always a cheater. I'm sure he's told you how she's so cold, or how thay just don't talk anymore, etc, and that may be true, so how does he handle a rough patch? By trying to work things out with her, or by going to counselling, no by abandoning the biggest promise he's ever made in his life to be true to his wife. What a catch you've found for yourself. Yes, I think you are a fool.
2006-10-09 02:06:07 · answer #7 · answered by melouofs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'VE BENN DATING THIS GUY FOR THREE YEARS AND HE WAS SEPERATED FROM HIS WIFE THEY FINALLY GOT THIER DIVORCE THIS YEAR BUT EVERY TIME I BRING UP THE SUBJECT OF MARRIAGE OR KIDS HE STARTS WITH THIS TALE THAT HE WANTS US TO HAVE OUR OWN HOUSE AND FINANCILLY STABLE FOR OUR KIDS AND ECT. AFTER A WHILE HIS FAMILY WILL COME AROUND THEY NEED TO KNOW THAT YOU ARE THERE TO STAY AND THEY CAN'T GET RID OF YOU. BUT DON'T END UP LIKE ME WAITING FOR THREE YEARS AND FINALLY REALISING THAT IT MAY NEVER HAPPEN ENJOY IT WHILE YOU CAN BUT GET A COMIMMTMENT OUT OF HIM. YES YOU NEED A FINANCIL BACKGROUND BUT ALL THAT COMES WITH TIME AND IN TIME YOU'LL GET THE HOUSE AND WHAT EVER YOU DESIRE BUT TRY WORKING TOGETHER TO ACHIVE ALL THAT AND BESIDES MARRIAGE IS A COMPREMISE IF YOU WORK AT MATERIAL THINGS THAT IS ALL YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE
2006-10-09 02:10:12 · answer #8 · answered by kkj 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are questioning this (as you seem to be), something is most definitely amiss. There's no harm in taking a break or time apart to reassess things. It helps give you some perspective. If I were you, I would ask myself:
-Does he make me happy?
-Does he treat me well?
-Do I see a future (If not am I okay with that)?
Weigh your options and give yourself time to think it over. Good luck :)
2006-10-09 02:08:18 · answer #9 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im with a guy, (i know i'm only young) bt i feel i have a fair bit of life experience. My guy, lives with his ex partner, and his 3 kids.. there is a lot of age difference bt i really like him, and even though he lives with his ex.. for all i know, he could still be with her, yes i have my doubts. But when i do, i speak to him. However, your guy is moving out from her, so i think.. Stick at it, as long as you feel its right and want to be with him carry it on :) Good Luck!! XX
2006-10-09 02:05:08 · answer #10 · answered by Jemma P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes yes do so i don't think he is getting a divorce or the family would know if its not going to hurt you best for you to get out fast NOW that fast if you do hook up with him he will do the same to you i know it is easy for me to say it but you seem to have a good head so use it good for you good luck to you
2006-10-09 02:13:51 · answer #11 · answered by freeman3905@sbcglobal.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋