I love my spouse we have been together for 10 yrs im 33 his 30.He not to long ago was put in prison for five years. Of course my intentions are to wait for him. Its been 7 months now I have not cheated on him. But I think about my age im 33 by the time he gets release ill be 38 Im dont know what can happen in between.I am human and feel lonely at times but I love him and go into a stage of confusion. especialy when his expecting me to wait. Dont get me wrong I want to unit with him again when he gets out but I also need acompanionship. thow My intention are to wait Can some one help me on this one..
2006-10-09 01:33:14 · 13 answers · asked by huera 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It sounds cliche but if you do love him, you will find a way to wait. You will, however have to think about what might happen to him. Five years inside can do a lot to a man and he may be very different when he gets out. It could be a stressful time and one that will need even more patience from you. You may not be able to just simply pick up where you left off because of the mental changes he has gone through. Perhaps he will be up for parole earlier though and five years could be three? (depends on his sentence) Nobody can tell you how or what to do but if I was you I would think a lot about not only the time he is in there but what it may be like when he returns. You will have had 5 years living without each other and you may both change a lot in that time. Try to find other women who are going through the same thing, talk to them and maybe just do what he is doing... take one day at a time, get through that and see how you feel at the end of it. good luck
2006-10-09 01:43:21 · answer #1 · answered by punkvixen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself this. Would he stay faithful and wait for you if it was the other way around? Do you truly love him,and are prepared to wait for 5 years? It is a hell of a long time. Things do change. You are human. You have feelings and wants, and of course you will be lonely. Is he an understanding kind of guy? Have you tried talking to him about how you feel? Could you maybe go with out other guys on a friendship-no strings attached basis. There is a big possibility that once your b/f gets out he has going to have made some major changes in himself. We are talking about 5 years,not just a few months. He may not be the same person that you love at this time. Personally, I think I would go slowly, but maybe start going out with friends on a casual basis for a while, until I really knew what I wanted to do. At least this would fill the void of loneliness. If he is not happy with this, that would be his problem. You didn't deserve the punishment of being separated for 5 years and having to wait. Just let him know that you will still be there for him when he gets out, even if it is only as a friend. You could start all over again as a fresh relationship. If it is meant to be........it will be
2006-10-09 01:42:54 · answer #2 · answered by pixie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
10
2016-03-28 02:30:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are married, your marriage vows say for better or for worse. THIS is the for worse part. Join a gym and find other things to occupy your time. I don't know how the married to a jailbird thing works but from what I have seen on tv, they have a thing called "conjugal visits" where if you're married you can meet up with the guy and have sex.
You do what you want in the end, but remember if you go have sex with someone else and end up with an incurable std or a child, you might as well have divorced anyway. If temptation is too great, get a divorce so the man's heart doesn't place his hopes on having you when he gets out.
2006-10-09 01:39:18 · answer #4 · answered by IslandGirl 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When you got married you vowed to be with him for better or for worse. Wait for your man and stand by his side. It will be hard but relationships go through tough times and trials and this is a test to see how much you love ur man. I knew a woman who waited for her husband for 15 years and now that he's out they're more happier than ever. Don't leave him...he needs your love and support right now even though he's not physically there. I would suggest you get involved in activities to occupy ur time so that you won't think about missing him to much such as the gym,hanging out with friends, etc.
2006-10-09 01:47:05 · answer #5 · answered by Miss Thang 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay a relative of mine was in the same situation that you are in ,Her and her husband talked about it and they both decided that it would be better for her to live her life but still be apart of each other.So she started going out with friends and co workers (of both sex), Just because you are waiting does not mean you can not make new friends and live your life and still wait for him.My cousin ended up getting into a relationship with a guy that new from the beginning that she was going to be with her husband when he got out of prison.She now has a child with this man.It sounds really strange I know but she was happy and so was her husband.She is now back with her husband. She and the father of the child are still friends. They all look at it like he was there to take care of her when her husband could not .I am not saying rush out and find a boyfriend .I am just saying that even if you go out with some lady friends it will take the waiting off of your hands.The longer you can go with out thinking about the time he is going to be gone the faster the time is going to go .Plus you can write him and go to see him and that too is going to be really hard but will take up some of the time he is going to be gone.GOOD LUCK
2006-10-09 01:41:35 · answer #6 · answered by thunder_rainclouds 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what is he in prison for? was he unjustly convicted...did he do what he has been convicted for? so much to consider here....i think if you are happy to wait then wait...BUT it wont be easy...you are a young a virile woman so it wont be easy...join a church or some sort of civic group...ask around to find out if there is a support group in your area for women with this same problem and maybe that will help...good luck
2006-10-09 01:41:51 · answer #7 · answered by kimbersweet 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love him - then wait for him! That's what true love is! He'll be soooo devastated if you leave him just when he needs you most!!! (Unless he's in there for physically abusing you or worse...) Just like what IslandGirl said: why not take advantage of your conjugal visits? If you can't, i believe that it will all be worth the wait!
GOOD LUCK!
2006-10-09 01:45:21 · answer #8 · answered by Kellybelle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, what is he in prison for? The fact that he's in prison at all would tell me "I can do better!!" , don't you think? Make a fresh start, now's your chance - take it and don't look back!!
2006-10-09 01:35:37 · answer #9 · answered by freyas_kin28 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Occupy yourself with a job or hobby that you like, or travel somewhere. time goes very fast. keep waiting.
2006-10-09 01:36:10 · answer #10 · answered by Nina Moore 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋