I asked this question earlier and Im suprised by some of the answers. Divorce or child...? what I never said I was going to leave my husband if he didnt want another baby and another assumed that I was the homemaker and that I couldnt handle 3 kids by myself... Im the breadmaker honey, I work at a hospital 3rd shift and then come home to take care of the kids all day... I get 4 hours of sleep when my husband comes home from work and then I do it all over again and I wouldnt change it for the world. I just feel that my time is running out and I want another child, and some of you are saying that I need to respect HIS decision... what about MINE? Give me your imput, and if you want to read my other question, make sure you read some of the answers I got too.
2006-10-09 00:24:40 · 15 answers · asked by alcollar329 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Having another child is a serious decision. You *both* have to want the child, not just one. It's unfair to the child to bring him or her into the world just so you can say that your husband respected your wishes.
2006-10-09 00:35:02 · answer #1 · answered by The ~Muffin~ Man 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Real difficult one this, I felt the same a few months ago and my husband did not want to another child, we have a boy and a girl but it got to the point where even if I was in the same room as a baby that I would get really upset and have to leave. Two of my closest friends were pregnant at that time as well. I work part time in the evening's and my husband is the main bread winner. He has said that due to the financial side at this moment in time no, he wants our two children to have holidays and things. I can understand how he feels and although I still feel the same I would never say never. A distant friend said I should put holes in the condoms but I would never do something like that, we are married and that has been built on trust not deceit. I also wouldn't false him to have another as he loves our two so much and i wouldn't want him to hate the new baby. I hope you and your husband can work it out, good luck I know how you feel, if you feel that you really want to have another and he doesn't then you need to look at your relationship, who are you to say that he should but then who is he to tell you you can't. You both have a right to live the life you want as you only get one chance. Good luck and if things are really that bad at home then the children would be better off in a single parent home anyhow as arguing in front of children is really bad.
2006-10-09 00:50:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi, I really have no answer for you. I am in the same position. I want another child, as time is running out. I am almost 40. My husband is 5 years younger and feels we have all the time in the world. At the moment he is absolutly not willing as he is of the opinion financially its not a good time. My thought on that are. It never is. And what is not financially will not be the same in 5 years. In 5 years I can work more than now. Its really difficult. {{{hugs}}}
2006-10-09 00:34:34 · answer #3 · answered by Diana B 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My sitsuation was kinda liek that except i was a stay at home mom.... and had the time.. but OMG we ahve 3 kids now it is soooo hard!(i got my way and we had more kids)
After #1 tho, my hubby didnt want any more...I just kept on him about me going on BC pill... and finally one day he said OK..we can have a second..
so we did..LOL
that was all fun and stuff but #3 took us both by surprise.. but i think it was ment to be cause it was our girl fianlly... He never wanted a girl but OMG is he happy now to have a girl... she is the lite of his eyes.. MOve over mama...
sorry i know i probly didnt answer ur Q really....
but i have been there done that with my husband and i bugged him and buged him and finally got my way...
Not always the best thing to do..LOL... but ..oh well.
2006-10-09 02:08:19 · answer #4 · answered by Crystal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Convince him as a good friend. After all you are the one going take care of the child and he will understand. Don't ever think of divorce. What guarantee is there the second partner/husband will like your first child.
2006-10-09 00:51:47 · answer #5 · answered by Rammohan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in a similar situation where I running out of time but really wanted another baby and he didn't. we would discuss it every now and then and finally reached a compromise.. after a lot of disucussion we did end up having another baby but let chance play a part. if we did get pregnant then that was good and if not we'd be happy with what we had good luck
2006-10-09 00:35:16 · answer #6 · answered by cino_bean 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, how can you compromise?
Work out what it is he's so bothered about..
You have a real desire for a child, fair enough. You are willing to go through pregnancy, birth, to do the extra work...
So what's he afraid of? Find out what need he has that he's afraid of not being met (eg he might be afraid he'll miss out on your attention again) and see how you could help him.
Both parties here have legitimate needs, hope you can find your compromise.
2006-10-09 01:30:17 · answer #7 · answered by Trin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have 4 - 3 more then husband wanted ,but i wanted. we did have a rough time at first with the anger ect at finding out i was pregnant but as he finally agreed " its your womb" and he does pull his weight withtaking care of them altho at first it was "nope this ones yours"that lasted for 6 weeks. oh and by the way he finally admitted that it wasnt fear of not being able to support,or over population it was fear that i wouldnt have "time for him"jelousy - which is very normal anyway even for a first time dad to feel "left out". have your baby and i wish you the best.
2006-10-09 00:44:46 · answer #8 · answered by kayann01 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems to me that most guys I know don't want to have children until after the fact. My husband didn't want to have anymore children (after we had 1), but reluctantly agreed to one more.
Discuss it with him until you reach a compromise, which by this I mean, until you talk him into it.
2006-10-09 03:12:22 · answer #9 · answered by Melody 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know how you feel being a mother and being a woman...as i tried to understand your situation you are a working mother despite of that still you want another baby...well, there's no wrong to bear another child since it gives moe joy and life to the family as long aswe can give an equal attention to the needs of each of our children especially their education and values they needed since in our today's generation youth of today are so hi- tech adn so advanced in their way of life and thinking...i think you need to reflect and answer these questions first for yourself: "how is important to you to have another baby in your family?, what are the opinions and reactions of your children to add another member in your family?and can you give equal attention and needs for all your kids?"...goodluck to you ma'am and most important pray hard for guidance...He gives you the answer just be attuned to Him... God bless you and your family :)
2006-10-09 01:33:08 · answer #10 · answered by fairlady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋